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Do I have anger issues?

MtmVaott

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Hello goys, following problem. As of late I have zero bull**** tolerance for any girl, any woman. If they do and say something I don't like or reflects bad on their character I call them out on it. Reason is I got rejected and ****tested so often that I stopped caring to put on a face. At this point I don't feel anger but say what comes to my mind. Either the girl falls in line or is free to go away.

Example: I ask a girl on a date after we met a couple times via text. She always excuses herself and says she wants me to meet her friends because I moved new to her city. Said to her how can I meet her friends if she always rejects a meeting. Tell her then to hit me up and won't text her until then since it is supergay. Never heard of her again, did not contact her again.

Example 2: Send another girl a photo of a historical building and instead of saying thanks she complains why I did not make a panorama shot or took a video around the building. Told her she's spoiled and won't do that. I can see the building everyday and she can fly over to my city and see it for herself is what I said. Then she says she is not spoiled and I take her too serious, "thanks me" and then re-emphasizes on me taking a panorama shot, asks me how I'm doing etc. Make a joke of her being born with riches - she's from a rich family - and gets angry at me bringing it up. Tell her she can command her lapdog friend like that but if she talks to me that way it is natural I am going to tease her.

Example 3: Again another girl with whom I hit it off very well. She is very into me but ****tests the hell out of me, not replying for one or several days, trying to make me jealous on dates (doesn't work), pretends not to be interested while she clearly is but rejects advances. We have been on several dates but she still takes her time to text back, doesn't pick up the phone, so I tell her to get her act together or I won't bother wasting my time with her. She was hurt that I saw her as waste of time and haven't talked to her for more than a month. Contacted her again - I really do like her - and same ****show again. This time I don't bother at this point and stop replying to her

Do I have bad luck or can women sense my anger and ****test me extra hard? I have countless examples more than this with different women. So I don't think it is entirely on them.
You try to control your environment. You are afraid to let go.
If you would let go you could only influence your environment by how you respond.
All your behaviour is explainable. But when you experience yourself, like emotions, thoughts, sensations or actions, the fraction you see is too small. You ignore or reject the unpleasant ones. The picture of yourself, who you are, becomes a puzzle with missing pieces.
You perceive your behaviour as erratic. You loose trust in yourself.
To feel secure, you try to control your environment instead.

God holds you in his hands. This is why you feel you can let go more if you are believing in him.
 
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Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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The reason you are being tested so much is that women don't want a crazy guy - a guy who is not socially calibrated and a guy who doesn't have control of his emotions. These types of guys are the most likely to hurt a woman physically and or put her in a really dangerous or uncomfortable situation. Women are absolute bloodhounds at sniffing this out in men. If a woman gets a strong whiff of it, she will simply hard next you or try to fade away so as to not provoke your anger. If a woman gets a faint whiff of it, that's when the tests come. She tests to try to bring your calibration and emotional control into the spotlight in order to see if that faint whiff is valid, and in the examples you provided above, all the tests worked, she obtained the confirmation she needed, and she split.
BS, why do most women like bad boys, Tyrones, Jeremy Meeks, Ted Bundy, and guys like American Psycho. They don't like beta males/incels with these characteristics, I do agree.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Sounds like you are not in a proper mindset for dating and should probably take some time off to work on yourself.

Way too concerned what someone else thinks of you.
 

DonQuixote

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All of this is familiar to me. Every bit. I even made the same experience when I tested to believe in God again.
I think Kotaix has made an awesome connection between control and faith. You put some things in Gods hand.
You can put things in the hand of other people, too. Often they will react compliant, but they don't have to.

Also take a look again what EyeOnThePrize and I have written in my thread.
In another thread of yours you described a similar experience, where you hit it off well with women and then they can sniff that your life is not in order and turn away from you. It is basically what my problem boils down to, plus anger issues from hell. People who sense the anger in you, even when you don't act on it, they feel it and know they can make you go nuclear if they push the right buttons. There is either a sense of fear or a sense of being able to dominate you.

You try to control your environment. You are afraid to let go.
If you would let go you could only influence your environment by how you respond.
All your behaviour is explainable. But when you experience yourself, like emotions, thoughts, sensations or actions, the fraction you see is too small. You ignore or reject the unpleasant ones. The picture of yourself, who you are, becomes a puzzle with missing pieces.
You perceive your behaviour as erratic. You loose trust in yourself.
To feel secure, you try to control your environment instead.

God holds you in his hands. This is why you feel you can let go more if you are believing in him.
You are spot-on. I do try to control the outcome and people. Learning to let go and instead having control over yourself is what makes you a man and gives your life order. I put way too much expectations on somebody or something and then get angry as hell if things don't go my way. There used to be days where I caught myself in the thought-process before allowing myself to get angry. They are slowly coming back. Today I had a little too much coffee and my anger came back but I controlled myself. I took offence at dubious things but caught myself what I was thinking and feeling and tried to let go, but people could feel I had a dark presence. Only God has everything in control, there is no reason to cling on the things you have no power over.

Sounds like you are not in a proper mindset for dating and should probably take some time off to work on yourself.

Way too concerned what someone else thinks of you.
Yes, thanks to the replies here I won't consider dating women for a while. Need to focus on myself and how to swallow my ego.
 

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oldmanofthesea

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BS, why do most women like bad boys, Tyrones, Jeremy Meeks, Ted Bundy, and guys like American Psycho. They don't like beta males/incels with these characteristics, I do agree.
You are correct, but it isn't most women - it is a specific subset of women. All women want masculinity, but a specific subset of women are unable to differentiate true, positive masculinity from men who have NPD or other psychological problems that cause them to act on their emotions and treat people poorly (aka the bad boys).

Women don't crave bad boys, they crave masculinity and unfortunately bad boys provide some masculine traits, but they also provide a lot of negatives and aren't truly masculine (insecurity is not masculine and most bad boys are extremely insecure people, or they are psychopaths like Bundy etc). Only 1-3% of men understand positive masculinity which means these men are in rare supply and high demand. Many women have never had the chance to meet or date one - they must choose between a meta male or a bad boy tyrant. That is why this forum and RP is so important. If you can be that 1-3%, you have it made. It has worked very well for me.
 

MtmVaott

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@DonQuixote
I became confused by the controlling topic, my explanation isn't a solid one because controlling outcomes, yourself, and other people are all similar, but a bit different from each other.
I suggest you take a look at the advice I received in the thread of me you found.

Since you talked about self-control: That means forcing you. It's not very different from trying to control the outcome. You will get stuck. Go for self-validation instead.

And about your anger-issues: You are not expressing what you want, need, or don't want on the spot. You set it aside, and anger starts to build up. The key word here is assertive behaviour.

I suggest you get help by a therapist. This is going to be a long process and you want to have someone who holds you accountable.
If you do it alone, you will sabotage yourself and revert back to your old ways.
 

DonQuixote

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@MtmVaott Conrol is nothing bad. It is important what parts you want to control and which not. Self-control is crucial for a man, we also call it restraint. As mentioned before, therapy is a sham and a man is his own best helper if he is honest with himself.
 

Fruitbat

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As it looks like I cannot run from the God-question. Whenever I was the most religious I exercised the greatest control over my vices, and, contrary to all expectations, women liked me and I had a natural feeling for them. I became religious five years ago and was baptized Catholic one year ago. Submitting to God and to exercise what is expected of a Christian, such as living out moral beliefs, prayer, meditation, reading of holy texts and the Bible, swallowing my ego hardened my mind and thickened my skin.

In another thread here about anger the OP was also advised that only God can solve this problem. What meditation does for you the Christian way of life did for me. Maybe I am afraid of missing out of all the *****mongering by avoiding to fully dedicate myself to Him again. Thanks a lot for the post. Some problems can only be solved by God, no intellectualizing or external influence can help you in such cases.
No wonder you can’t get a woman if you are so scared of death you believe in this fairytale nonsense.
 
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