Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Do I ask her out?

TheVampSlayer

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So, there's this girl(A) in my school with whom I don't speak a lot. She's very pretty. Her best friend(B) and B's boyfriend(C) are really good friends of mine. I made plans to go eat with both B and C, but B invited A so that I wouldn't be the third wheel. We had a good time. I made a bet with A and whoever lost had to pay for each other's meal some other day. I lost(I wanted to). Now, A told me that she expects a date(jokingly). I don't like A, but she seems like a good candidate for being my girlfriend. Should I ask her out(due to the bet)? I don't think she is particularly interested in me, but maybe I can make it work if we have some time alone on a date. What do you guys say? Also, if the answer is yes, how do I do it(must be by text, won't see her for 2 months unless I ask her out)?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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DragonBlood

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TheVampSlayer said:
A told me that she expects a date(jokingly). [...] Should I ask her out?
YES. But just for the fun of it.


TheVampSlayer said:
how do I do it(must be by text, won't see her for 2 months unless I ask her out)?
"What day are you free this week? Lets go on the date".


If you dont do it soon she will probably forget and think its creepy. Out of curiosity, why wont you see her for 2 months?
 

TheVampSlayer

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First, thanks for replying.Second, I won't see her for two months because I'm not going to high school because I'm training for the International Math Olympiad. So, I won't get to see my classmates until August. I'm not a stereotypical nerd, though. My natural personality is ****y funny.
 

Reckoning

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Why wouldn't you ask her out? Dates are useful even when they're bad.
 

TheVampSlayer

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Because I didn't quite notice IOIs. I'm gonna do it, but not because there was any interest, only for the fun of it, like DragonBlood said.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Reckoning

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Yeah don't burden yourself with interest early, always think of dates as fun tools, if you got time, just go on dates with whoever looks decent for your standards.
 

DragonBlood

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No worries mate. good luck with the IMO
 

TheVampSlayer

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@Reckoning That's good advice, I will keep it on my mind.
@DragonBlood Thanks.
 

TheVampSlayer

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So, I asked her out. It went like this(translated from spanish):

Me: Hey, it's TheVampSlayer. Let's have that date, what days are you free this week?
A:Hi, tomorrow or friday I think haha
Me: Friday at 2:30?
A: Yep(and an emoticon)
Me: Ok. See ya

So, everything went great. I need to ask, was it a good idea to send that last message? How would any of you have ended the conversation (I'm thinking the "see ya" might make me seem to eager)
 

JoesphBrown

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TheVampSlayer said:
So, I asked her out. It went like this(translated from spanish):

Me: Hey, it's TheVampSlayer. Let's have that date, what days are you free this week?
A:Hi, tomorrow or friday I think haha
Me: Friday at 2:30?
A: Yep(and an emoticon)
Me: Ok. See ya

So, everything went great. I need to ask, was it a good idea to send that last message? How would any of you have ended the conversation (I'm thinking the "see ya" might make me seem to eager)
You're over thinking it man. Good job you got a date go out have some fun and let us know how it goes
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TheVampSlayer

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Okay, ***** flaked. She took B's(reread original post) cellphone(without me knowing) and asked me,

A(as B): are you gonna go eat with A?
Me: Don't know. If she doesn't ask for confirmation then I probably won't show up.
A(as B): A says yes.
A(as B): Can you make it earlier -A (it was A pretending to be B sending a message for A)
Me: I can't, I'm booked until 2.

And then B gets her phone back and says
B: That was B talking
Me: since when?
B: Since "are you gonna go eat with A?"

And then A sent me this message:

A: Hii, again haha. Let's go another day! The thing is that I've got math classes at 1 (sad faje emoji) [to be fair, she sucks at math and has a big test on monday]
Me: That's okay. No problem.

My question is, should I reschedule? When and how?
Also, did I handle it properly? Any comments?
 

Uncharted

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In the future, when another girl asks about a girl, never answer her straight. Just ignore the text or say something like "I don't know I may cancel because I have to wash my hair" or some bullish.

Also, whenever you think to yourself "should I ask her out" the answer is always yes. Just do it because it's better to know she's not interested than to always wonder.
 

TheVampSlayer

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@Uncharted B is sort of my best female friend and she has a boyfriend, does the same still apply? Also, she has wanted A and me to be a couple since the beginning of time.
 

Uncharted

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Yes it always applies. Don't tell her everything. It doesn't matter what she wants, she's already causing drama by giving the other girl her phone.

Don't let other people get involved just handle it yourself.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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TheVampSlayer

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@Uncharted okay, noted. Also, did I properly handle the conversation? It won't happen again but did I play it right? I mean, did it affect me negatively?
 

pyros

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I dont understand how you went from having a date with a chick you dont like (you said this in your original post, wtf?), to getting a flake because of your aloofness when A texted pretending she was your friend B.

Hilarious really.

By the way, this is what really killed your chances with A:

A(as B): are you gonna go eat with A?
Me: Don't know. If she doesn't ask for confirmation then I probably won't show up.
A(as B): A says yes.


Buen trabajo...
 

DragonBlood

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pyros said:
Me: Don't know. If she doesn't ask for confirmation then I probably won't show up.
Wow Vamp, that makes you sound like the biggest **** of all time.

Me: Friday at 2:30?
A: Yep :)

What more confirmation do you need? You were planning to stand her up! Attraction was lost! Do nothing now. Reschedule in a weeks time.


Regarding your question, Here is how I would of handled this nonsense.


A(as B): are you gonna go eat with A?
DB: <no response>


The question "B" asked was rude. That doesnt mean you need to riff on the phone, just ignore.
 

TheVampSlayer

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@DragonBlood okay, thanks. So next time I show up regardless of second confirmation. And I will also start ignoring. Thanks for the reply.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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