"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Do I ask her out?

TheVampSlayer

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So, there's this girl(A) in my school with whom I don't speak a lot. She's very pretty. Her best friend(B) and B's boyfriend(C) are really good friends of mine. I made plans to go eat with both B and C, but B invited A so that I wouldn't be the third wheel. We had a good time. I made a bet with A and whoever lost had to pay for each other's meal some other day. I lost(I wanted to). Now, A told me that she expects a date(jokingly). I don't like A, but she seems like a good candidate for being my girlfriend. Should I ask her out(due to the bet)? I don't think she is particularly interested in me, but maybe I can make it work if we have some time alone on a date. What do you guys say? Also, if the answer is yes, how do I do it(must be by text, won't see her for 2 months unless I ask her out)?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DragonBlood

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TheVampSlayer said:
A told me that she expects a date(jokingly). [...] Should I ask her out?
YES. But just for the fun of it.


TheVampSlayer said:
how do I do it(must be by text, won't see her for 2 months unless I ask her out)?
"What day are you free this week? Lets go on the date".


If you dont do it soon she will probably forget and think its creepy. Out of curiosity, why wont you see her for 2 months?
 

TheVampSlayer

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First, thanks for replying.Second, I won't see her for two months because I'm not going to high school because I'm training for the International Math Olympiad. So, I won't get to see my classmates until August. I'm not a stereotypical nerd, though. My natural personality is ****y funny.
 

Reckoning

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Why wouldn't you ask her out? Dates are useful even when they're bad.
 

TheVampSlayer

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Because I didn't quite notice IOIs. I'm gonna do it, but not because there was any interest, only for the fun of it, like DragonBlood said.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Reckoning

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Yeah don't burden yourself with interest early, always think of dates as fun tools, if you got time, just go on dates with whoever looks decent for your standards.
 

DragonBlood

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No worries mate. good luck with the IMO
 

TheVampSlayer

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@Reckoning That's good advice, I will keep it on my mind.
@DragonBlood Thanks.
 

TheVampSlayer

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So, I asked her out. It went like this(translated from spanish):

Me: Hey, it's TheVampSlayer. Let's have that date, what days are you free this week?
A:Hi, tomorrow or friday I think haha
Me: Friday at 2:30?
A: Yep(and an emoticon)
Me: Ok. See ya

So, everything went great. I need to ask, was it a good idea to send that last message? How would any of you have ended the conversation (I'm thinking the "see ya" might make me seem to eager)
 

JoesphBrown

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TheVampSlayer said:
So, I asked her out. It went like this(translated from spanish):

Me: Hey, it's TheVampSlayer. Let's have that date, what days are you free this week?
A:Hi, tomorrow or friday I think haha
Me: Friday at 2:30?
A: Yep(and an emoticon)
Me: Ok. See ya

So, everything went great. I need to ask, was it a good idea to send that last message? How would any of you have ended the conversation (I'm thinking the "see ya" might make me seem to eager)
You're over thinking it man. Good job you got a date go out have some fun and let us know how it goes
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheVampSlayer

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Okay, ***** flaked. She took B's(reread original post) cellphone(without me knowing) and asked me,

A(as B): are you gonna go eat with A?
Me: Don't know. If she doesn't ask for confirmation then I probably won't show up.
A(as B): A says yes.
A(as B): Can you make it earlier -A (it was A pretending to be B sending a message for A)
Me: I can't, I'm booked until 2.

And then B gets her phone back and says
B: That was B talking
Me: since when?
B: Since "are you gonna go eat with A?"

And then A sent me this message:

A: Hii, again haha. Let's go another day! The thing is that I've got math classes at 1 (sad faje emoji) [to be fair, she sucks at math and has a big test on monday]
Me: That's okay. No problem.

My question is, should I reschedule? When and how?
Also, did I handle it properly? Any comments?
 

Uncharted

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In the future, when another girl asks about a girl, never answer her straight. Just ignore the text or say something like "I don't know I may cancel because I have to wash my hair" or some bullish.

Also, whenever you think to yourself "should I ask her out" the answer is always yes. Just do it because it's better to know she's not interested than to always wonder.
 

TheVampSlayer

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@Uncharted B is sort of my best female friend and she has a boyfriend, does the same still apply? Also, she has wanted A and me to be a couple since the beginning of time.
 

Uncharted

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Yes it always applies. Don't tell her everything. It doesn't matter what she wants, she's already causing drama by giving the other girl her phone.

Don't let other people get involved just handle it yourself.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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TheVampSlayer

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@Uncharted okay, noted. Also, did I properly handle the conversation? It won't happen again but did I play it right? I mean, did it affect me negatively?
 

pyros

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I dont understand how you went from having a date with a chick you dont like (you said this in your original post, wtf?), to getting a flake because of your aloofness when A texted pretending she was your friend B.

Hilarious really.

By the way, this is what really killed your chances with A:

A(as B): are you gonna go eat with A?
Me: Don't know. If she doesn't ask for confirmation then I probably won't show up.
A(as B): A says yes.


Buen trabajo...
 

DragonBlood

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pyros said:
Me: Don't know. If she doesn't ask for confirmation then I probably won't show up.
Wow Vamp, that makes you sound like the biggest **** of all time.

Me: Friday at 2:30?
A: Yep :)

What more confirmation do you need? You were planning to stand her up! Attraction was lost! Do nothing now. Reschedule in a weeks time.


Regarding your question, Here is how I would of handled this nonsense.


A(as B): are you gonna go eat with A?
DB: <no response>


The question "B" asked was rude. That doesnt mean you need to riff on the phone, just ignore.
 

TheVampSlayer

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@DragonBlood okay, thanks. So next time I show up regardless of second confirmation. And I will also start ignoring. Thanks for the reply.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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