"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

DJ's, AFC's and The Lord Of The Rings

5

5string

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Let's analyze the characters....

Frodo...An AFC but learning to be a DJ. Ultimately completes his quest and rids himself of the One Ring.

Samwise...Good guy. AFC but also on the right path. He's a "bro's before ho's" kinda guy. In spare time, he reads the DJ Bible.

Gandalf...Definate alpha male. All seeing and all knowing. Reminds me of jophil

Legolas...Another alpha male. Don't F with him.

The One Ring...Has Borderline Personality Disorder. Those with whom it comes into contact with become immediately attached to it's euphoric aura, then have their souls completely ripped out and are ultimately destroyed by it. Only Frodo can completely free himself of it's enchantment.

Gollum...Chump. He'd steal your last nickel and f close his own mother if he could pull it off. The dude wears a thong in public. What's up with that?

Aragorn...DJ for sure. He does end up with the HB elf babe (Arwen).

Pippin and Merry...They could be wingmen. More of a couple orbiters probably.

Galadriel the elf witch...AW for sure. Knows she's hot. Always seeking the attention of males.

Grima Wormtoungue...Chump. He's the dude that would try to steal your woman. Can't trust him. I think he got beat up in school alot when he was younger. Wears skinny jeans to the club.

Arwen...The only quality HB in the movie. She's got it all. Every man's dream.

Gimli...the little hairy dwarf dude. Wingman for sure.

Orks...Dumb azz orbiters that have nothing going for them. They're the guys at the club trying to look down yer girl's top for a cheap thrill. They also dress poorly and have bad breath.

Hobbits...Masturbate with their feet somehow. That's why they're hairy.

Fvck it. Can't think of any more..........:D
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

M

Mr.Positive

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5string, I don't have anything to add, other than to say that this was an entertaining read. I had a good laugh, thanks for that.

:D :up: I should watch these movies again.
 
C

CaptainJ

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Treebeard: Chump who is plugged into the matrix and is ignorant to the DJs Merry and Pippin trying to unplug him. Only when he gets friendzoned by his oneitis Saruman does he unplug and turn into a bitter jerk.

That's all I've got.
 
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^__^

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Random background elf: DJ, f*cking all the women while boyfriends are off on some quest

I don't know.
 
T

teagan

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The Witch-king...the ultimate AMOGer but is proven to be a real chump when he is beaten by a chick
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

5

5string

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Mr.Positive said:
5string, I don't have anything to add, other than to say that this was an entertaining read. I had a good laugh, thanks for that.

:D :up: I should watch these movies again.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I don't know what made me think of this sh!t. Guess I was bored. Might watch the movies this weekend as I havent seen them in a long time. :D
 
W

WhitePimp

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The Ents are like the old guidos who retire down to Florida but you KNOW can still pull young, hot ass.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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