DJ's, AFC's and The Lord Of The Rings

[5string]

Let's analyze the characters....

Frodo...An AFC but learning to be a DJ. Ultimately completes his quest and rids himself of the One Ring.

Samwise...Good guy. AFC but also on the right path. He's a "bro's before ho's" kinda guy. In spare time, he reads the DJ Bible.

Gandalf...Definate alpha male. All seeing and all knowing. Reminds me of jophil

Legolas...Another alpha male. Don't F with him.

The One Ring...Has Borderline Personality Disorder. Those with whom it comes into contact with become immediately attached to it's euphoric aura, then have their souls completely ripped out and are ultimately destroyed by it. Only Frodo can completely free himself of it's enchantment.

Gollum...Chump. He'd steal your last nickel and f close his own mother if he could pull it off. The dude wears a thong in public. What's up with that?

Aragorn...DJ for sure. He does end up with the HB elf babe (Arwen).

Pippin and Merry...They could be wingmen. More of a couple orbiters probably.

Galadriel the elf witch...AW for sure. Knows she's hot. Always seeking the attention of males.

Grima Wormtoungue...Chump. He's the dude that would try to steal your woman. Can't trust him. I think he got beat up in school alot when he was younger. Wears skinny jeans to the club.

Arwen...The only quality HB in the movie. She's got it all. Every man's dream.

Gimli...the little hairy dwarf dude. Wingman for sure.

Orks...Dumb azz orbiters that have nothing going for them. They're the guys at the club trying to look down yer girl's top for a cheap thrill. They also dress poorly and have bad breath.

Hobbits...Masturbate with their feet somehow. That's why they're hairy.

Fvck it. Can't think of any more..........

 

[Mr.Positive]

5string, I don't have anything to add, other than to say that this was an entertaining read. I had a good laugh, thanks for that.

I should watch these movies again.

 

[CaptainJ]

Treebeard: Chump who is plugged into the matrix and is ignorant to the DJs Merry and Pippin trying to unplug him. Only when he gets friendzoned by his oneitis Saruman does he unplug and turn into a bitter jerk.

That's all I've got.

 

[^__^]

Random background elf: DJ, f*cking all the women while boyfriends are off on some quest

I don't know.

 

[teagan]

The Witch-king...the ultimate AMOGer but is proven to be a real chump when he is beaten by a chick

 

[5string]

5string, I don't have anything to add, other than to say that this was an entertaining read. I had a good laugh, thanks for that.

I should watch these movies again.

Thanks. I don't know what made me think of this sh!t. Guess I was bored. Might watch the movies this weekend as I havent seen them in a long time.

 

[WhitePimp]

The Ents are like the old guidos who retire down to Florida but you KNOW can still pull young, hot ass.