dj_china's FR

[dj_china]

Hey, so I’ve been lurking on sosuave for a while now, and read some really inspiring FRs. I think its time for me to start my own FR so I can increase my learning speed and hopefully give something back to the community as well.

Also, I’m really open to criticism, so just say it to my face. I can take it =)

First, some background info:
I’m a 21 year old college student who is spending the next 15 months in China. I am an ABC (American born asian) so my chinese isn’t so great – its good enough to have basic conversations, and that’s it. So unless otherwise noted, all my sets are actually done in Chinese, and the transcripts are rough translations. This also means the transcripts are more fluid than the actual set because…my Chinese isn’t that smooth in the first place.

Second, some problems I’m having
1) Fear of people. I have only ever approached sets who were alone. Often I’ll get eyes from a cute girl on a subway or on a street, but I can’t approach because I’m worried about the other people around who will hear everything I say. Any tips to get over this?
2) Selective AA. Like everyone else, I always make up excuses in my mind when I see a girl, hence AA. However one of my strongest excuses is “she’s not hot enough, why should I bother myself.” Hence I have the most severe AA with HB 5-7. If I see HB8+ I’ll just be like “f*ck it, she’s too hot to pass up.”
3) Interesting conversation. I can hold a mundane conversation for hours. But I can’t seem to make a conversation super interesting with a girl. I read that a lot has to do with body language so I will have to work on this. But I believe that words have to have some substance too, and this needs work as well. This should help with escalation as well
4) Kino. As an AFC I have never really kino’d. I only started hugging female friends once I got to college. I need to make kino a normal part of my everyday interactions, and incorporate it naturally into my game.

Now on to the juicy stuff (not really…)

Mid June 2009
I attended an NLP lecture (in english), there was an HB6.5 there. But I didn’t have a chance to open her during the entire lecture and session afterwards, because she was always talking with other people (my fear #1 kicking in here…). I chat up everyone else there and feel pretty happy with myself, then I leave. I loiter around outside and call some friends, and a few minutes later she comes out alone. I approach as she is walking out the gate (this set is in English!)

ME: hey what’d you think of the NLP talk?
HER: it was really interesting, blah blah
ME: yea totally not what I expected blah blah
Fluff fluff about NLP, walking towards some shopping area
ME: where are you headed now?
HER: I really want bubble tea. I used to live around here but so much has changed in the past 2 years, I cant find anything
ME: yea I come back to china every summer and am always amazed by the changes (couldn't think of anything cool to say about bubble tea, but i think that would have been a better response...)
Fluff fluff.
HER: blah blah yea I’m actually leaving Shanghai back to London in a week.
I am running out of interesting stuff to say, but i think she is pretty into me, and I feel that I can close now so I set up to eject.
ME: I have to go this way (random direction). Lets chill sometime before you leave
Number close.

Late June 2009
I am walking back from work at about 3am (don’t ask) and pass a club. There is a HB9 sitting outside the club at a table, alone. I approach. (set in Chinese)

ME: hey were you just in that club?
HER: yea
ME: how is it inside? I just arrived in china and am looking for places to party, but I don’t really know my way around.
HER: its pretty good. The best places are at xxx and yyy though.
Fluff fluff
ME: are you from shanghai then?
HER: yes. What are you doing here this summer?
ME: I go to college in the US but I’m just here this summer for an internship. What do you do? (geez….BORING CONVERSATIONS. Why must I always be asking these kinds of questions? I need to work on making this more interesting)
HER: I work at xxx
ME: oo. Do you mind if I ask…how old are you?
HER: how old do you think I am?
ME: ummmmm 21?
She looks 21, but I’d guess 23-25 because she is already working. But I want to err on the young side, so I just say 21.
HER: im 25. How old are you?
ME: guess
HER: you look kindof young (wtf? Everyone I’ve ever met always said I looked old…25+)
HER: don’t tell me you are younger than 20
ME: im 21.
Fluff fluff
A guy comes out of the club and pulls up next to us in a moped. Everyone in china gets around on mopeds
I give HB9 a funny look, and she explains to me
HER: (in broken English) he’s giving me a lift
ME: what?
HER: (in broken English again – I guess she didn’t want him to understand?) he’s giving me a lift
ME: oh. K bye then. (stupid – I was taken aback by this sudden intrusion, and didn’t know what to do)
HER (in Chinese, to moped dude): hold on a sec
HER (back to chinese with me): fluff fluff
ME: we should hang out sometime, give me your number

the conversation suggests her IL is high...but during the entire conversation she seemed to be staring at a bush nearby -- not at me. she was twirling her hair the entire time, and only occasionally glanced at me. not sure what to make of this...

APPROACHES 2
NUMBERS 2

 

[dj_china]

update no HB6.5 and HB9. this is a separate post because it happens on a different day from the first post

I texted HB6.5 the next day asking her “how was the bubble tea?”
She replied a few hours later saying “tea was yammy ”
I did not reply
I called her a few days later, using the sweater opener:
ME: hey my friend’s gf’s birthday is tomorrow so I was just wondering if you could give some quick advice. He wants to get her a cashmere sweater but doesn’t know her size. Her closet has mostly S and M – should he get S or M?
HER: ummm blah blah
+fluff for maybe 5 minutes
ME: hey we should catch up soon
HER: im going back to London tomorrow morning
ME: ohhhh that’s too bad. I guess we’ll stay in touch online. Bye

i text her after that, because i forgot to ask for her facebook. I figure we can stay in touch online and keep the plate for whenever she's in China again.
ME: hey give me your fb so we can stay in touch
HER (12 hours later, next morning): sorry i was packing last night. blah blah, keep in touch!



the end. HB9 is more interesting...

HB9 calls me the next day:
HER: hey do you have any plans tonight?
ME: im not sure yet. Im at dinner with a friend let me call you back in an hour

Two hours later…
ME: hey what are you up to
HER: im at karaoke now (super-popular amongst Chinese people)
ME: haha your voice sounds a little hoarse
HER: haha no I just choked on something
I wanted to say something like “oo you must be really excited to hear from me” but I couldn’t figure out how to say it in Chinese! Gahh
HER: so what are you doing later?
ME: not sure yet. I’m going to my office to finish some work, but I’ll probably be going out around 11pm or midnight
HER: k I’ll call you then
ME: k bye

I don’t expect a call, and I just go clubbing with some friends without her. She doesn’t call, as expected….but I get a text at 2am: (this is translated from Chinese. In Chinese she doesn’t sound as clingy as she does in English)
HER: where are you I got sidetracked sorry its late now are you sleeping yet
ME(30minutes later): im at m1nt want to come
HER (immediately): whats that. is it the same as MT1?
ME(30 minutes later): its on xx road (I don’t know what MT1 is). Its late now im going to visit yyy city tomorrow so I gotta sleep early. When im back lets go watch a movie
HER(immediately): ok. Sleep well

Next day at 10pm…
I text her
ME: sorry just got back from yyy city, did you go out tonight?
HER(immediately): no im at home now

I was supposed to take her to the movies but I wanted to go clubbing instead. And she never called me asking me where I was…so I figured she didn’t really want to go to the movies anyways. So I don’t reply to her.

TODAY…
I call her, she doesn’t pick up, so I text her
ME: sorry my cell ran out of battery last night. Lets go to movies tonight, my treat
HER(20 minutes later):I cant do tonight, family stuff. Lets do something during the day sometime
ME(immediately): call me Wednesday after work then
HER(30 minutes later): ok. Why don’t we pick a day and go to a bar instead?

I’m not sure what it’d be like to go to a bar alone with her. Bars in china are like clubs – and its weird to sit at the bar with a date, in a club. And its wayyy too loud to hold any conversation. Either you dance, or you get a table (which is super expensive). So…im not sure what to do here.

Anyways, what happens is I just don’t reply because I don’t know what to say. I go to play basketball with a bunch of friends instead, and then eat a late dinner at around 10pm

Surprise surprise - she calls me
HER: hey do you have any plans tonight?
ME: want to go see transformers 2?
HER: theatres are closed now, aren’t they?
ME: nope theres still an 1120 showing
HER: oh. What are you doing now?
ME: im eating dinner. I just finished playing basketball for 3 hours. I’ll call you when im done
HER: okay

I call her at 11 and nobody picks up so I text her
ME: im done eating
HER (10 minutes later): lets do another day
ME: k…goodnight (wtf? Why did I have to reply)

In the end, I think she really wants to hang out with me, but just does not want to see a movie. In fact it seems like all she wants to do is go clubbing. I’m curious as to how this will pan out.

Also, just some more background:
I live with 2 friends who each have girlfriends. the girls are both chinese and really conservative, and the guys are both AFC. i'll get endless **** from all of them if i bring a girl back. so i cant. ideally id like to go to the girl's place...but thats a lot harder to do than to invite her back to my place (or is it? anybody got some tips here?) i feel like the girl callign me at 10pm, when in the afternoon she said she had family business to attend to at night -- this was a free hook that i missed. i'm confused as to why she turned down the movie invitation. seems like she really wants to hang out with me, but for some reason movies dont cut it? are movies so out of fashion now?? ...

 

[dj_china]

also some failures...

approached an HB7 who was outside the same club, different night. she looked a little tipsy and was walking away.

ME: hey were you just in there?
HER: yup.
she gets into a taxi and leaves.

in the afternoon...
HB5 is walking, I use the sweater opener on her. she answers the questions pretty enthuisiastically, and with detail -- but she keeps looking across the street for some reason. also, this was awkward because it was my first street approach. if i stopped walking, she stopped, if i started, she started. but i wasnt sure if i should be walking or not. nevertheless, after seeing her face after beign stopped, i discovered that she was actually an HB5 and not an HB7 as i originally thought. and she seemed to be uninterested, so i just ejected.

APPROACHES 4
NUMBERS 2

 

[Igetit!]

While all these approaches and numbers you've gotten so far cool and everything,there's something you've neglected to report.

You've had 4 approaches that have resulted in 2 numbers.

Well out of the two numbers,how many of them have resulted in dates?

You do want to take some of these girls out,don't you? Or are you content with just approaching and getting numbers?

 

[dj_china]

well 1 of those numbers flew to London, and the other one ... is still in the works. I don't think she has lost interest yet, as she usually initiates contact with me, but scheduling hasnt worked out

 

[dj_china]

no new cold approaches, but i met two new girls through friends

a friend suggested I meet HB8 for lunch because we are in the same business. At lunch I discover that she is actually leaving this business so it just becomes a friendly conversation. She is REALLY friendly, and there are a lot of times where we juts kindof look into each others eyes. I'm not sure whether to take this as an IOI. She talks a lot about "meeting new people" and "making friends" so it's possible that she's just really friendly.
Over the past few days HB8 has been texting me to go watch a movie with her, or go salsa with her, but I've always been busy. I must be the worst flaker ever.

I also met an HB9 at a club through a friend, and she seems to be really into me. Somehow we got to talking about aikido, which I am really into (and she is too!) and she proposed a solution to poverty that involves aikido (hmm ...interesting...?) I took this to be an IOI because ...why bother talking to me about such an obscure/awkward topic unless she was interested?

I tell her I found this cool place in the club that is just closed off, but has couches and everything, and suggest we go there because its quieter (too loud in club). She agrees, and suggests it to the rest of the group who all agree too (all of us are paired up).

When we all settle down I discover that I don't know HB9's friend yet, HB7.5, so I introduce myself. she seems interested in me too, so I take the opportunity to flirt with her and ignore HB9. HB9 seems flustered and occasionally interjects into our conversation, but I usually just nod or grunt and continue flirting with HB7.5.

everyone else in the group leaves to go dance except one guy (pretty alpha), the HB9, and HB7.5. somehow topic of relationships come up. i discover that HB9 has bf. so when it comes to me, I say I have a gf. guy in the group ask HB9 about her bf, blah blah I'm not paying attention I'm flirting with Hb7.5 again. HB9 interrupts our conversation and asks about my gf. I make up a short story then say its really hot here lets leave (theres no air conditioning in this part of the club, since its supposed to be closed). HB7.5 immediately follows me -- I'm pretty sure shes into me. HB9 sticks around with other guy. sh!t. I have to persaude them to leave now... which puts me in a weak position. but they agree. HB9 and guy decide they are tired and want to go home. **** I probably ignored HB9 too much...didn't even get her number.

anyways they leave, and HB7.5 and I rejoin the group. we dance for a bit. I SUCK AT DANCING. SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE. lol. so I suck. anyways, eventually HB7.5 kindof backs into me a little, but when I put my hand on her waist she doesnt come all the way, so I'm not sure if she is interested? this happens a few times and I don't get anywhere.

RANDOMLY, HB9 (from first post) calls me and asks where I am (this is about 2am). I tell her the club name, and she comes over (no clue from where...) I suggest we go to another bar, where there is an open bar, because I don't really want to go back to HB7.5 after she saw my embarassing dancing skillzz. we go there and find the bar is closed for some reason.
we sit outside and talk
she wants to buy me ice cream
we flirt
I play a lying game with her, theres a lot of kino
then bam a kitten comes out. wtf? she's like omgg hes so cuuuute and starts playing with kitten. im thinking wtff that thing probably has rabies and start kino a lot less, since she was all over the kitten. then she kissed its mouth. @#%^% i'm too grossed out to go for k-close so I suggest we go home. she brings the random kitten home...

today she texts me asking me what I'm doing, and telling me she brought the kitten back.

APPROACHES 4
NUMBERS 2

I need to work on closing. I could have closed HB7.5 and HB9 from the club yesterday, but I lost the opportunity. I think it may come knocking again, so I hope I don't miss it -- but this is rare so I need to make sure this kind of stuff happens less. I also need to learn to dance.

 

[dj_china]

ok went out on thursday, with a bunch of AFC buddies of mine. interesting thing is that because they were AFC, it made me a lot more alpha. so I was just walking around the club and a lot of girls were smiling at me (I think?)

but as soon as I got on the dance floor I was getting good vibes from at least 3 separate groups of girls. it wasn't long before a 2-set pulled me over. we dance for a bit, but these girls are pretty conservative and don't really get into grinding. so I bring them back to our table and play some drinking games with my AFC friends. HB9a (the one from my first post) calls me at 12am and asks where I am. I tell her, and she says shes coming.

when she arrives, I kindof ignore her and flirt with the 2set that approached me earlier (both are HB7). she starts chatting with my AFC buddies, but eventually moves and sits next to me, really close. HB7 gives me a funny look.

while we play drinking games HB9 and I are kino-ing a lot, and one of the HB7 asks me if she's my girlfriend, i say no.

eventually both HB7s say its late and want to leave, and ask for my number. they leave.

HB9 and I end up hooking up on the dance floor, but my AFC friends want to leave, and one of them is staying over my place so the night ends.

APPROACHES 5
NUMBERS 3
K CLOSE 1
F CLOSE 0

 

[dj_china]

friday

went out again, this time with 7 other guys and 1 HB7.5nyc (from nyc)

we get to club and ...it kindof sucks because its 7 guys and 1 girl. we bump into 3 girls we know from elsewhere, all HB5-6. I'm flirting with HB7.5nyc, and shes laughing pretty hard. some of the guys are looking at me...because im monopolizing her. HB6 comes over and introduces herself to HB7.5nyc and starts AMOGing her (AFOG?), saying stuff like "oh so im older than you" "oh i went to blah blah school (better than HB7.5's school)". I'm enjoying this, of course, but I'm a little taken aback by the sudden show of interest. I had met HB6 before and didn't think she was itnerested in me. nor did I ever flirt with her because there were always hotter girls around. so I kindof sat there not konwing what to do while the girls duked it out. then HB6 suggests the whole group go to dance. I think its a good idea since I was stuck between a catfight and the rest of the guys seemed bored out of their minds and were probably goign to go to another club if something didn't happen soon. at dance floor HB7.5 and HB6 are both looking at me, so I decide to go to the bathroom and see what happens when I come back. WTF? why did I do that.
when I come back everyone is gone. HB6 and her friends already left to another club. and my group of buddies is waiting for me in the lobby. we bounce to another club.

3 of the guys go to the club the HB6 group went to
I go with my friends to another techno concert. the music is ridiculously loud there, but eventually I see two HB6.5 eyeing me. (or so I thought)
they must have been staring and smiling for 10 minutes and nothing happened, so I finally approach them with a wing who is AFC. it's too loud to talk, most of our conversation consists of "WHAT?" and I lose interest. she sortof turns around, then turns back to me, asks me some questions, to which I respond "WHAT?" and then I decide to leave the set. my wing was blown out by the other girl earlier, and my other buddies came up to me and said they were leaving anyways.

I'm walking home because my hotel is near the club. I pass an HB7 sitting outside another club, and I approach her.

ME: hey the club in there is pretty empty on Friday's huh? (I know it is, because I've been to this club before. the dance floor has literally 4 people on it, and half of the tables are empty. by comparison, the club I just left was packed and you couldn't even move)
HER: not really...
ME: oh. (taken aback, since she's just plain wrong...) so where are the hottest places here? I just got here a few weeks ago and I don't really know this place.
HER: this club is nice.
*starts texting on phone*
ME: ...ok bye

APPROACHES 7
NUMBERS 3
K CLOSE 1
F CLOSE 0

I need better openers...my openers suck.




==================================================================================

update.
HB7.5afc texts me and asks what im doing. after a while i dont reply she calls me. i dont pick up because im busy, and she calls again an hour later, i still dont pick up. i call her back after im done with my ****, and she asks for my MSN, and asks what im doing tonight. i tell her I'm going out around 11pm. she says shes going out earlier than that, so i tell her i'll call her later at night

 

[dj_china]

i went clubbing with some friends last night, 2 guys, and 1 girl i didn't know. the club we went to was incredibly loud, so since we couldnt hear each other, i started writing stuff on my phone and showing them. the girl got super excited about talking to me in this manner for some reason, and we had a long flirty convo all typed out on my phone. the other guys were like wtf?
i didn't get any close though because they wanted to leave after a while. i also did not want to pull anything on the girl because i think one of my friends is interested in her. he kept looking at our conversation and giving me weird looks.

=================================
so i've spent a lot of time with HB9 (from first post) these past few days. she's always texting me late at night asking where i am.
last night she called at 3am (she knows im always out late clubbing on weekends) saying she just woke up from a 3 hour nap and wanted to come.

she comes, we dance for a bit but shes not really into it. when i ask her about it she tells me shes not really into dancing
also, she kept turning her head when i tried to go for the kiss, and we have hooked up on the dance floor before...so i dont know whats up with that

so we leave after a short time, and she asks if my apartment is nearby. i say yes, wanna check it out? she agrees

she basically settles into my bed so i know she's spending the night, but i have a splitting headache and don't feel like doing anything, so we just go to sleep (or i try to sleep, and she keeps talking to me)

finally we sleep at around 7am. im awakened at aroun 11am by a phone call, and we start chatting again. i get called by about 5 different people throughout the next 2 hours for some reason, which gives me some amazing social proof i guess (this doesnt usually happen right when i wake up...)

eventually we run out of things to talk about so im just lying there and she asks me if shes bothering me. i say yes, and that she should leave (jokingly). so she makes to leave (also jokingly)
i tell her "kiss goodbye" and she says "okay" but doesnt do anything. so after a few minutes i just move on her and then bam f-close.

i didn't realize it was that easy...

the interesting thing is, she tells me that she didn't think i was going to do that (make a move). she also spent a large portion of the past few days talking about how she hates guys who go and hit on her (apparently it happens a lot), and how super conservative she is. i have no idea how much of this is truth, because she doesn't look conservative to me at all. however, she is SUPERtight. i could barely even fit my middle finger in. and im not fat at all.

APPROACHES 7
NUMBERS 3
CLOSE 1

 

[Man_CA]

Interesting read and good job with the HB9!

 

[dj_china]

HB9cd (this is where i met her, its hb9 from the first post) texts me literally every night asking where i am. we often meet up for late night snacks, but we haven't had a chance to hook up again because we both have too many flatmates...
she also brought up the topic of us dating that went something like this:
hb9: are we dating?
me: i dont think so?
hb9: so what are we?
me: just friends? *kiss
hb9: do you do this to all your friends?
me: yup
hb9: *funy look*
me: just kidding. we're more than friends
hb9: hookup buddies? (remember, this conversation is entirely in chinese, and my chinese isn't really that good)
me: whats that? (pretending not to know)
hb9: ummm go ask your friends
me: ok

 

[FluckWomen]

I'll be honest man, I normally CAN'T STAND reading field reports because I find them monotonous to read and often hard to follow. However, I read your's in its entirety and really enjoyed it... great work on the HB9! Outside of your openers (which you'll definitely improve upon with time), I think you're doing an excellent job approaching and your handle on appearing aloof to chicks you've number closed is the makings of a professional. Keep it up brotha!

 

[dj_china]

Thanks for the encouragements guys.

Unfortunately I've been super busy with work lately, and HB9cd is taking up most of my free time. I haven't made a cold approach in a long time...this is not good.

HB7.5bad-dancing texts me a lot and asks me to go clubbing/museums with her. but she has a bf, and i'm usually too busy so I reject her most of the time. I just got dinner with her today, and we had a great conversation, but no kino, and she's leaving tomorrow.

 

[dj_china]

some updates

I met HB8 about 2 weeks ago, through a friend's family dinner, including 2 guys my age, and maybe 7 other older men. we ate at a restaurant that served donkey meat, so she will henceforth be designated HB8donkey

I just played simple ****y/funny for the dinner, but didn't target anything specifically at her, and at the end she asks for my number (not the other 2 college aged kids). her pretense was "to practice english," so it was pretty clear that she was interested.

i wait 2 days, then i call her to ask for "a girl's opinion" about sweater sizes (Style's sweater opener). I discovered that routines used to open sets are also really good for calling a girl. once you call her about something as innocent as that, it's a lot easier to text/call her in the future to set up a date.

anyway, we just talk about sweaters for maybe 5-10 minutes, then I tell her I have to go unpack my suitcase for my dorm. she texts me a few minutes later asking if I can go over to her dorm and help her unpack as well (she goes to another school that is about 30 minutes away, and I'm too lazy to go. so I tell her i can't). OOPS. apparently this annoys her and she sends me some crazy complicated text in chinese (that she knows i can't read)

so i tell her (teasingly) that she should practice her english and resend the text in english.
she does not reply

honestly, I don't exactly know what went wrong here, except for the fact that I did not want to help her unpack her stuff. lol but even knowing the outcome, I wouldn't change anything. I'm not going to go so far out of my way for some chick I just met. I just don't see how something so inconsequential could annoy her that much. hey, what if i really was busy??

anyways she texts me again today...in english! i guess she really does want to "practice" after all...haha
H8: heres my new number -- always keep in touch! (the english is spotty because this is verbatim, and english is her second language)
me: sorry who is this?
HB8: sorry forget to say that this is HB8
me: oh, haha i thought you didnt want to talk to me anymore =p
HB8: haha i really had this thought. ok, i decide to give you a chance to show my mercy
me: why would you want to start ignoring me? (oops this is a bad text)
me: oh and im going on a plane soon so i may not be able to receive texts for a while (i was flying to another city in china at that time)
HB8: i know to ******. ok, bring me a present and i will forgive you. ******* is an amazing and charming place
me: I'm not going there, I'm already coming back. and I already got you a present (not true...oops. better find something quick, before I see her next time...)
HB8: so happy that you didn't forget me! i have been working hard on english - we can stroll in the park when you are back
(lol we've only met once, and I did not give her any IOIs yet, i think? seems like she is pursuing me now)
me: haha i can alraedy see your improvement

more text fluff**

another day, another lesson
I had written off HB8 as a dead plate after she didn't reply to my last text 2 weeks ago, but it appears that she was still interested, after she initiated conversation today
If I had played more AFC and constantly bombarded her, I think I may never have gotten this plate back.

 

[dj_china]

another HB8, she is a friend of one of the employees of a local laundry shop. she is HB8laundry

I've gotten my laundry done there a few times before, and I think the employees (all female) like me. I'm usually really polite, saying "please" and "thankyou" like most Americans do. but Chinese people don't do this so I think this helps me stand out. I bumped into one of the employees today, outside the laundry shop and she waved at me. I knew she was familiar looking but I didn't remember where I knew her from, until I saw her walk into the shop.

After entering the shop today, I noticed the new girl HB8laundry. we don't really talk, because I'm really AFC in front of my friends. I still haven't fixed this problem (gaming in front of other people, which I mentioned in my first post). but because my Chinese is the best among the group, it was easy to act Alpha, since both the employees and my friends were asking me to translate. on top of that, I was on the phone with a friend so I suppose this acts as more social proof? to ice the cake, I was talking in english, which is a huge peacocking tool in front of Chinese females.

to be honest, I don't think there could have been a more perfect setup. I literally didn't even have to do anything special. After my friends got their laundry they just left (dorm was 1 minute walk away). so I'm the last one there, and finally get off the phone. and HB8laundry initiates the conversation with:

HB8: are you from america?
me: yea, I'm from ******* university, and I'm studying here for a year. are you a student here?
HB8: no, I'm just her friend (points to employee who likes me)
me: oh I see, so what are you doing here?
HB8: I just visit sometimes
me: oh...so you're a student at a nearby school?
HB8: no...blah blah (I didn't understand what she said)
*this whole time, I'm walking out of the store and she kindof follows me out
me: anyways, nice meeting you! since you come here often, I'm sure we'll meet a lot. see you around!
HB8: ... are you going to leave contact information?
me: haha you want my number?
HB8: should I give you my number or do you want mine?
me: give me yours
HB8: okay...blah blah blah
me: see you around!

this was 2 hours ago, I haven't contacted her yet. I'm planning to text her asking her to lunch or dinner tomorrow, since she already seems so interested.

I don't know if my game is just becoming more solid (in terms of ****y/funny, and being a high value male). Remember game is all about lifestyle. bring the girls into your LIFE.

or maybe being an american in china is just making things unfair.
I hope I don't get hosed when I go back to the US. at least my confidence will have a large boost after the next few months.

 

[dj_china]

plate crashes

HB9cd and I talked of a trip to various places around China during my school's fall break. I kindof got vibes that she didn't want to go (ie not acting excited about it). I'm usually pretty accurate with my vibes because of playing poker...

so anyways, I don't know how I can deal with this situation considering we are in different cities -- I can't even see her or kino with her, and I'm pretty sure she's seeing other guys (something else I can't handle from afar, or without seeming AFC)

I'm planning on just not contacting this girl anymore, we'll see if she heats up because of this, but if not, I don't care either. (at least...not that much)
I used to be super AFC about this but having multiple options really does help.

There is currently two HB8s and one HB7.5 that are interested in me.

HB8donkey is apparently a prude, so this will be a challenge -- but I know she's into me because of the way she acts. She gets really jealous when I flirt with other girls around her, and her texts to me are really AFC. haha

I've flaked on HB8laundry 3 times already (couldn't be helped)... I feel bad about it, but HB8laundry is a player herself, and brushes it off. I hope this doesnt mean she lost interest in me...but I just can't shake how easy the pickup was -- it was practically her who picked ME up.

HB7.5 is also in another city so I'm not sure how this will work out...

I need to go sarge more.
sorry for the stream of conscious

 

[dj_china]

its been a while, I haven't done any sarging at all. despite the fact that there are a lot more opportunities for interactions with girls because I am currently in school, I run into a lot of problems (mainly my problem #1 stated in my first post). there are always other people around... I really need to get over this in order to get more success in schools and other very public settings.
If its somewhere like a coffee shop or a park, I'm much more comfortable because other people are usually out of earshot.

I have an update of an epic failure of a night which really woke me up to how much work I need to do on my game.

I went clubbing last night with a bunch of friends I know (maybe about 10) and we met up with another huge group (like 40 other people) so I didn't know most of the people there. I guess I was a little tired so I wasn't so excited about meeting other guys. but there were two korean chicks there, maybe an HB6 and HB8. they were sitting on a couch, HB6 was all the way on the side, against a wall, so there was no way to approach her. HB8 was sitting next to a guy who was smoking, and she pushed him away pointing at his cigarette. so I moved into the open spot with

me: "I'll block the smoke for you *silly grin*" (laaame...)
HB8: *looks confused*
me: "i'll block the smoke for you!" *points to smoker*
hb8: *smiles and laughs*

turns out she doesn't speak english. i assumed she did, because we were in china, and she was clearly korean. i guess that logic doesn't really work. haha

Unfortunately that failure of an opening killed my game and I faltered for words. I ended up making very AFC small talk. mistake #1 The most flirty thing that happened was basically me telling her:

me: you look just like one of my friends...really innocent
HB8: I'm not! (pretends to hit me.......but doesn't actually do it)
me: you are! just look at your face!
HB8: I'm not! (pretends to hit me...again)
me: fine. prove it
HB8: how? I'm not lying...
me:... *gives up*

We eventually got involved in a game of 2 truths and a lie which lasted all of one round, before I couldn't think of more sexual things to talk about.

later one of her friends (male) asks HB6 and HB8 to dance, HB8 motions for me to come too.

mistake #2 is I didn't start kino with her immediately. Instead, I saw two of my good friends, HB 8.5 and HB9, but both of which were prude... and I went to dance with them for "social proof." oops

I am somewhat "saved" by my friend HB5 who has made it clear that she is into me, and she starts grinding on my heavily. I am not very interested and am looking around the dance floor. HB8korean catches my eye accidentally and I instinctively look away. oops. mistake #3

I play the push/pull game with HB5 because I think thats what I'm supposed to do with girls... mistake #4. I should have pretended I was really into it for 10-15 minutes and then went to find other girls, then finally back to HB8.

meanwhile there were contless guys approaching HB8 and she politely dances with them, some hand holding, very litle grinding, and never lasts for more than 2 minutes. I'm thinking...didn't she tell me she wasn't innocent? (she did claim to have had more than 10 boyfriends in the past, and refused to say an exact number). maybe she's just picky?

mistake #5 -- I suck at dancing. I didn't make an approach on HB8korean because I was too intimidated by the other guys who were better dancers than me, and all got rejected, and also from fear #1 in my first post -- too many other people. also I wasn't sure if the kino would be weird since we didn't have any kino when we chatted earlier.

overall it was a disaster of a night and my confidence was just shot after that.

 

[dj_china]

oh I guess I should also make some updates on other girls

I finally went on a date with HB8donkey and she is indeed really prude. she's also got a pretty childish personality and I just lost interest. there was no question whatsoever that HB8donkey liked me, but I felt bad stepping up the kino because I was afraid she might really like me, and I just wasn't that into her. it also felt awkward to kino with her because it was so unnnatural for her, since she was so prude

I haven't contacted her since that date, and she posts on my facebook. its pretty clear she is still interested but I think she realizes that I'm not into her and she kindof backed off now

I flaked on HB8laundry a 4th time, and she has stopped contacting me. I've been trying to find a day to ask her out again, but its been maybe 5 weeks now. I don't know if she would still be interested. I'm just so busy these days...

HB9cd seems to enjoy flirting with me by text. she said "i love you to death" (in chinese -- its kindof a friendly, non serious way i guess -- but still very flirty) after we had a nice flirty text convo. but she still doesn't seem to want to make a very big commitment to come see me (in another city). haha. but neither am i. so maybe we'll never see each other again

there are two new girls, an HB7 who used to be interested in me, and an HB7.5 who is still interested in me. but both are prude once again. way too many of these in china......
also these 2 girls are in my classes so I didn't really have to cold approach them or anything, things juts kindof fell into place. I don't give myself any credit in that case.

my game still sucks. and I'm still disappointed about HB8korean just because of how poorly things went.

 

[dj_china]

went on a date with HB7.5 that I met online, it went pretty well
unfortunately she's one of those really conservative chinese girls so it didn't go far, but I was getting lots of IOIs the whole time. I will report back after day 2 and hopefully k-close

also, an HB7.5 I met through a friend randomly calls me today to survey me for a student organization she is part of -- I never gave her my number...I wonder how she got it. wonder if this can go anywhere

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Great job man keep it up!