When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your talking about my F.A.Q. aren't you? See I told you! Girls are JUST as shy as we are. Isn't it fukken unbelievable? Don't hold yourself back because of your own limiting beliefs. It's the man's duty to approach.First woman I made brief eye contact with, but she was starting to look away. I wouldn't normally say hi without EC, but having read various posts saying otherwise, I thought I'd try it. So I said hi with her looking away, she seemed a lil surprised, looked at me and smiled(I was smiling too) and returned my greeting.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Your problem lies in your topic of dicussion. If you work, when you're there, do you want to talk about what you're doing, or do you want to talk about anything to take your mind off of whatever boring **** you're doing? Talk about something else. You said its hot out right? Well, go up to some chick in Abercrombie who is by some ripped clothes (not hard to find thereOriginally posted by Caldus
#2: In bookstore, came up to employee (female - a 6 I would say), smiled, and said hi, excuse me. She turns around and I try to smile but shyed out for this one. I ask if they are hiring and she says nope sorry. So I say thanks and then smile and then walk away. Rating: 1/5 <--- Probably not going to count this one.
Yeah good point. I mean I was mainly going for the eye contact and smile deal really. I'll have to work on other aspects of my game later on. But good tips.Originally posted by LostinNJ
Your problem lies in your topic of dicussion. If you work, when you're there, do you want to talk about what you're doing, or do you want to talk about anything to take your mind off of whatever boring **** you're doing? Talk about something else. You said its hot out right? Well, go up to some chick in Abercrombie who is by some ripped clothes (not hard to find there) and make eye contact and give a little smile. Get closer to her (not weird close, but conversation close) and make some joke about how they get away with charging $80 for a torn up pair of jeans. Don't make her fel guilty, say "they" in reference to A&F instead of anything like "you" or "you guys" when making the joke. She will probably giggle or laugh, and mention something about how they would be great in this weather. Take it from there
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Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Yeah you're right. I will spend the remainder of the week focusing on HBs, but there weren't that man HBs today (I'll visit bigger and more popular malls, and the beach), and I am shy talking to any stranger whether they be men or women, so I felt talking to everybody would give me a little boost.Originally posted by Caldus
Yeah good point. I mean I was mainly going for the eye contact and smile deal really. I'll have to work on other aspects of my game later on. But good tips.
And very well done Mjfan. I would suggest concentrating on HB's from this point on but that's just me. Whatever you fear approaching the most just go right towards it. Sounds like you're feeling better about this.
Yea it was! Couldn't think where I had read it at the time. Well written FAQ, good job.Originally posted by Ever onward
Your talking about my F.A.Q. aren't you? See I told you! Girls are JUST as shy as we are. Isn't it fukken unbelievable? Don't hold yourself back because of your own limiting beliefs. It's the man's duty to approach.
...
Originally posted by Mjfan12
Well I was feeling kinda scared and nervous about even saying hi and eye contact today.
Usually I would have just given up and or procastinated and would never have gotton anything done.
But then I remembered all you guys and that motivated me to get out there! I WILL suceed!
...
The only thing I was disappointed with is that not many people initiated any eye contact, and the few that did, did so for only a few seconds.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Well, many gave me a little eye contact, but many didnt.Originally posted by crazygecko
Good job Mjfan. Can't believe you did 34, that's incredible!
I felt scared while doing them too, good to push yourself. Well done for overcoming your fear!
Regarding not getting much EC, how are you doing the hi's? Are you saying them while not having EC I'm guessing and waiting for them to make EC after. I found it helpful to make EC first, then smile and say hi. People seem to be more open, and less startled this way.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.