"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DJ Bootcamp - I'm starting

Mr Plow

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Okay so this is Week #1, so this is the week in which I am meant to say hello to a total of 50 strangers/Practice eye contact.

I can already do the eye contact, I started saying hello to some people today, but I just got weird looks. Kind of put me off, so I only managed a total of three. Nobody said hello back to me or gave me a decent reaction. Just one of them opened her mouth in amazement. What's wrong with these people?

It was really awkward : /. Never mind, I have the rest of the week, but I am unwell so I don't know if I will get any oppurtunities.

Anybody have any ideas as to why I am just getting weird looks?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BJJkid

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Im also starting the bootcamp this week. I think older people react better when you greet them. I said hi to 3 older people and they said hi too. i tried it with this one girl and she just looked, ignored me, and just kept walking
 

JD1

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Mr Plow said:
Okay so this is Week #1, so this is the week in which I am meant to say hello to a total of 50 strangers/Practice eye contact.

I can already do the eye contact, I started saying hello to some people today, but I just got weird looks. Kind of put me off, so I only managed a total of three. Nobody said hello back to me or gave me a decent reaction. Just one of them opened her mouth in amazement. What's wrong with these people?

It was really awkward : /. Never mind, I have the rest of the week, but I am unwell so I don't know if I will get any oppurtunities.

Anybody have any ideas as to why I am just getting weird looks?
The simple and most likely answer, I would have to say from experience and my knowledge of this subject, is: body language and voice tonality. It's easy enough to say "hi" to someone... But for them to really hear you, you need the words that come out of your mouth (the content and voice tonality) to be congruent to your body language.

What angle do you approach at? What are the people doing while you approach? What are you doing while you approach?

One small problem can throw your entire vibe, image, call it whatever you want, off. Realize that the keyword here is small. You will fix this and learn a lot in the process of doing so!
 

Mr Plow

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BJJkid said:
Im also starting the bootcamp this week. I think older people react better when you greet them. I said hi to 3 older people and they said hi too. i tried it with this one girl and she just looked, ignored me, and just kept walking
Nice good luck, keep me updated of how you are getting on and maybe we can share some of our stories.
 

Mr Plow

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JD1 said:
The simple and most likely answer, I would have to say from experience and my knowledge of this subject, is: body language and voice tonality. It's easy enough to say "hi" to someone... But for them to really hear you, you need the words that come out of your mouth (the content and voice tonality) to be congruent to your body language.

What angle do you approach at? What are the people doing while you approach? What are you doing while you approach?

One small problem can throw your entire vibe, image, call it whatever you want, off. Realize that the keyword here is small. You will fix this and learn a lot in the process of doing so!
Yer I think I had my tonality okay, I don't *think* I had any problems with body language but then again I don't know much of it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

godofanxiety

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Can I play too? I want to get rid of my social anxiety once and for all, and systematic approach looks promising. So we have time until next tuesday, right?
 

Mr Plow

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godofanxiety said:
Can I play too? I want to get rid of my social anxiety once and for all, and systematic approach looks promising. So we have time until next tuesday, right?
That's right :) I am ill though and indoors all day so I might restart when I am better and mingle it with next weeks excercise.
 

Mr Plow

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Back on my feet, made more small time approaches which means just "hello"s and the such. I am starting to lose some of my approach anxeity, it's a great feeling. Most probably it was due to being with one of my mates who is a right laugh to be with.
 

Mr Plow

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Carried in, got in some more hellos, actually got a few returned to me! *shock*

Except one who told me to "kiss her ass"

I was thinking of maybe saying something along the lines of, "well if you are into that sort of thing"

But she was out of sight before I had time to think

Note to self: Sharpen wit

I am now onto week 2 and new challenges await :)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mr. Ballz

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Im in there currently as well. It became a game of waiting for the perfect situation, where they are not in a rush and are staring at you for some reason as well. But during the last 10 I wouldnt let one person pass me without greeting them Even if they were listening to music, in a rush or completely unaware of my existence. Many of them responded right back. Its tonality and CONFIDENCE. thats what is what this exercise is about.
 
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