"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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distance LTR complains that I don't care

S

Scormus

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So just been on a trip with my HB 8.5 distance LTR (we lived in the same city when we met but I had to move 3.5 hours away for work).

She complained to me that I only contact her for meeting up and that I don't care about her.

She complains that an ex from years ago (she says she does text back but has not met him for 4 years) still contacts her and asks how she is, that a "best guy friend" does favours for her and asks how she is, whilst Scormus is only interested in when the next date is.

Whats the correct play here?

Do we respond to her feedback and copy a little of the AFC behavior from the ex and the orbiter?

My answer was, tell me all about how you are in person. We're not pen pals or phone pals.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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J

jonhaul

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Is she really worth the long distance? If you feel shes being a creep then find a new local flame? Tell her she can have him lol.... or just continue with indifference. Remember you have better options yourself even if you don't you still do.
 
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Scormus

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paying attention

Mauser96 said:
PAY ATTENTION to her behavior
Click to expand...
Do you mean in the context of looking for signs that the relationship is deteriorating, or in the context of paying attention to keep her happier?
 
S

Scaramouche

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Dear Scormus,
OK leave things as they are,maybe phone more regularly give lots of disingenuous promises...While you are doing this start spinning plates for all its worth,because the crunch is coming...just be warned!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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