"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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distance LTR complains that I don't care

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Scormus

Senior Don Juan
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So just been on a trip with my HB 8.5 distance LTR (we lived in the same city when we met but I had to move 3.5 hours away for work).

She complained to me that I only contact her for meeting up and that I don't care about her.

She complains that an ex from years ago (she says she does text back but has not met him for 4 years) still contacts her and asks how she is, that a "best guy friend" does favours for her and asks how she is, whilst Scormus is only interested in when the next date is.

Whats the correct play here?

Do we respond to her feedback and copy a little of the AFC behavior from the ex and the orbiter?

My answer was, tell me all about how you are in person. We're not pen pals or phone pals.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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jonhaul

Don Juan
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Is she really worth the long distance? If you feel shes being a creep then find a new local flame? Tell her she can have him lol.... or just continue with indifference. Remember you have better options yourself even if you don't you still do.
 
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Scormus

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paying attention

Mauser96 said:
PAY ATTENTION to her behavior
Click to expand...
Do you mean in the context of looking for signs that the relationship is deteriorating, or in the context of paying attention to keep her happier?
 
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Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear Scormus,
OK leave things as they are,maybe phone more regularly give lots of disingenuous promises...While you are doing this start spinning plates for all its worth,because the crunch is coming...just be warned!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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