"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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distance LTR complains that I don't care

Scormus

Senior Don Juan
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So just been on a trip with my HB 8.5 distance LTR (we lived in the same city when we met but I had to move 3.5 hours away for work).

She complained to me that I only contact her for meeting up and that I don't care about her.

She complains that an ex from years ago (she says she does text back but has not met him for 4 years) still contacts her and asks how she is, that a "best guy friend" does favours for her and asks how she is, whilst Scormus is only interested in when the next date is.

Whats the correct play here?

Do we respond to her feedback and copy a little of the AFC behavior from the ex and the orbiter?

My answer was, tell me all about how you are in person. We're not pen pals or phone pals.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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jonhaul

Don Juan
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Oct 25, 2012
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Is she really worth the long distance? If you feel shes being a creep then find a new local flame? Tell her she can have him lol.... or just continue with indifference. Remember you have better options yourself even if you don't you still do.
 

Scormus

Senior Don Juan
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Dec 22, 2012
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paying attention

Mauser96 said:
PAY ATTENTION to her behavior
Do you mean in the context of looking for signs that the relationship is deteriorating, or in the context of paying attention to keep her happier?
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Australia
Dear Scormus,
OK leave things as they are,maybe phone more regularly give lots of disingenuous promises...While you are doing this start spinning plates for all its worth,because the crunch is coming...just be warned!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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