"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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distance LTR complains that I don't care

Scormus

Senior Don Juan
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So just been on a trip with my HB 8.5 distance LTR (we lived in the same city when we met but I had to move 3.5 hours away for work).

She complained to me that I only contact her for meeting up and that I don't care about her.

She complains that an ex from years ago (she says she does text back but has not met him for 4 years) still contacts her and asks how she is, that a "best guy friend" does favours for her and asks how she is, whilst Scormus is only interested in when the next date is.

Whats the correct play here?

Do we respond to her feedback and copy a little of the AFC behavior from the ex and the orbiter?

My answer was, tell me all about how you are in person. We're not pen pals or phone pals.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jonhaul

Don Juan
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Is she really worth the long distance? If you feel shes being a creep then find a new local flame? Tell her she can have him lol.... or just continue with indifference. Remember you have better options yourself even if you don't you still do.
 

Scormus

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paying attention

Mauser96 said:
PAY ATTENTION to her behavior
Do you mean in the context of looking for signs that the relationship is deteriorating, or in the context of paying attention to keep her happier?
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear Scormus,
OK leave things as they are,maybe phone more regularly give lots of disingenuous promises...While you are doing this start spinning plates for all its worth,because the crunch is coming...just be warned!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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