BannedGod
Senior Don Juan
I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her, and she is very flirty with me, but I was wondering... How can I tell innocent flirting from real interest?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Difference between innocent flirting and real interest?
- Thread starter BannedGod
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
WC2
Master Don Juan
"I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her."
It should be known that things work out much better when the girl works for YOU. If you're already working for her then you're already in a losing game.
Second, you don't mention having any sexual contact with her so I assume you haven't (correct me if I'm wrong).. the fact that you are even thinking about LTR possibilities throws your losing game, to a game down the drain where it will never come back.
Might seem a little drastic, but it's very hard to work for a woman these days. If your time with a woman seems more like working, then it's not going to go that far. Try "I'm having fun with this girl," or "This girl is extremely attractive," but stay away from that LTR word. If you attract her, then she will give you signs. Then you can make the move and kiss her; don't ask her for a relationship.
It should be known that things work out much better when the girl works for YOU. If you're already working for her then you're already in a losing game.
Second, you don't mention having any sexual contact with her so I assume you haven't (correct me if I'm wrong).. the fact that you are even thinking about LTR possibilities throws your losing game, to a game down the drain where it will never come back.
Might seem a little drastic, but it's very hard to work for a woman these days. If your time with a woman seems more like working, then it's not going to go that far. Try "I'm having fun with this girl," or "This girl is extremely attractive," but stay away from that LTR word. If you attract her, then she will give you signs. Then you can make the move and kiss her; don't ask her for a relationship.
BannedGod
Senior Don Juan
OK I didn't use the right terms... I'm not really working her or anything. By that I meant I spend a lot of times with her and hang out a lot with her and I'm not at her feet or anything. I don't know if it's more clear?WC2 said:"I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her."
It should be known that things work out much better when the girl works for YOU. If you're already working for her then you're already in a losing game.
Second, you don't mention having any sexual contact with her so I assume you haven't (correct me if I'm wrong).. the fact that you are even thinking about LTR possibilities throws your losing game, to a game down the drain where it will never come back.
Might seem a little drastic, but it's very hard to work for a woman these days. If your time with a woman seems more like working, then it's not going to go that far. Try "I'm having fun with this girl," or "This girl is extremely attractive," but stay away from that LTR word. If you attract her, then she will give you signs. Then you can make the move and kiss her; don't ask her for a relationship.
And to the other post, what do you mean by escalate?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
musclyjerk
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2006
- Messages
- 348
- Reaction score
- 4
Call them on their flirtatious bluffs.
Flirting should be resigned to showing signs of interest and that's it. Unfortunately women abuse flirting for their own self-esteem and enjoyment thus leading to the male to be unaware of her true intentions or feelings forcing him to yet again put his balls on the line for just another chick who may or may not be interested in him.
Even if it's obviously friendly call their bluff. Call it in a sexual way, too. Slap her arse, grope it - whatever. Just call their damn bluff when they're flirting with you so if they're trying to use you it's nipped in the bud early and leaves them feeling a little violated.
It's win-win - if they are interested, you have moved things up a notch. If not, you have made them feel arkward and you know where you stand.
The Muscly Jerk
Flirting should be resigned to showing signs of interest and that's it. Unfortunately women abuse flirting for their own self-esteem and enjoyment thus leading to the male to be unaware of her true intentions or feelings forcing him to yet again put his balls on the line for just another chick who may or may not be interested in him.
Even if it's obviously friendly call their bluff. Call it in a sexual way, too. Slap her arse, grope it - whatever. Just call their damn bluff when they're flirting with you so if they're trying to use you it's nipped in the bud early and leaves them feeling a little violated.
It's win-win - if they are interested, you have moved things up a notch. If not, you have made them feel arkward and you know where you stand.
The Muscly Jerk
musclyjerk said:Call them on their flirtatious bluffs.
Flirting should be resigned to showing signs of interest and that's it. Unfortunately women abuse flirting for their own self-esteem and enjoyment thus leading to the male to be unaware of her true intentions or feelings forcing him to yet again put his balls on the line for just another chick who may or may not be interested in him.
Even if it's obviously friendly call their bluff. Call it in a sexual way, too. Slap her arse, grope it - whatever. Just call their damn bluff when they're flirting with you so if they're trying to use you it's nipped in the bud early and leaves them feeling a little violated.
It's win-win - if they are interested, you have moved things up a notch. If not, you have made them feel arkward and you know where you stand.
The Muscly Jerk
So you just flirt back...like the whole "Woah, I don't know you well enough for that!" type fo thing?
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Cruise got it!
You keep escalating untill she is seduced or shoots you down, and then the ball is in your court whether or not you want to meet her again and start over. I know it becomes a stretch for the conversation, but the more you shag a woman the more attached she gets to you,
You keep escalating untill she is seduced or shoots you down, and then the ball is in your court whether or not you want to meet her again and start over. I know it becomes a stretch for the conversation, but the more you shag a woman the more attached she gets to you,
NorPacWolf
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2005
- Messages
- 370
- Reaction score
- 4
Dude, can you be any more vague? At least write a concise FR.
BannedGod said:I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her, and she is very flirty with me, but I was wondering... How can I tell innocent flirting from real interest?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.