BannedGod
Senior Don Juan
I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her, and she is very flirty with me, but I was wondering... How can I tell innocent flirting from real interest?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Difference between innocent flirting and real interest?
- Thread starter BannedGod
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
WC2
Master Don Juan
"I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her."
It should be known that things work out much better when the girl works for YOU. If you're already working for her then you're already in a losing game.
Second, you don't mention having any sexual contact with her so I assume you haven't (correct me if I'm wrong).. the fact that you are even thinking about LTR possibilities throws your losing game, to a game down the drain where it will never come back.
Might seem a little drastic, but it's very hard to work for a woman these days. If your time with a woman seems more like working, then it's not going to go that far. Try "I'm having fun with this girl," or "This girl is extremely attractive," but stay away from that LTR word. If you attract her, then she will give you signs. Then you can make the move and kiss her; don't ask her for a relationship.
It should be known that things work out much better when the girl works for YOU. If you're already working for her then you're already in a losing game.
Second, you don't mention having any sexual contact with her so I assume you haven't (correct me if I'm wrong).. the fact that you are even thinking about LTR possibilities throws your losing game, to a game down the drain where it will never come back.
Might seem a little drastic, but it's very hard to work for a woman these days. If your time with a woman seems more like working, then it's not going to go that far. Try "I'm having fun with this girl," or "This girl is extremely attractive," but stay away from that LTR word. If you attract her, then she will give you signs. Then you can make the move and kiss her; don't ask her for a relationship.
BannedGod
Senior Don Juan
OK I didn't use the right terms... I'm not really working her or anything. By that I meant I spend a lot of times with her and hang out a lot with her and I'm not at her feet or anything. I don't know if it's more clear?WC2 said:"I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her."
It should be known that things work out much better when the girl works for YOU. If you're already working for her then you're already in a losing game.
Second, you don't mention having any sexual contact with her so I assume you haven't (correct me if I'm wrong).. the fact that you are even thinking about LTR possibilities throws your losing game, to a game down the drain where it will never come back.
Might seem a little drastic, but it's very hard to work for a woman these days. If your time with a woman seems more like working, then it's not going to go that far. Try "I'm having fun with this girl," or "This girl is extremely attractive," but stay away from that LTR word. If you attract her, then she will give you signs. Then you can make the move and kiss her; don't ask her for a relationship.
And to the other post, what do you mean by escalate?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
musclyjerk
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2006
- Messages
- 348
- Reaction score
- 4
Call them on their flirtatious bluffs.
Flirting should be resigned to showing signs of interest and that's it. Unfortunately women abuse flirting for their own self-esteem and enjoyment thus leading to the male to be unaware of her true intentions or feelings forcing him to yet again put his balls on the line for just another chick who may or may not be interested in him.
Even if it's obviously friendly call their bluff. Call it in a sexual way, too. Slap her arse, grope it - whatever. Just call their damn bluff when they're flirting with you so if they're trying to use you it's nipped in the bud early and leaves them feeling a little violated.
It's win-win - if they are interested, you have moved things up a notch. If not, you have made them feel arkward and you know where you stand.
The Muscly Jerk
Flirting should be resigned to showing signs of interest and that's it. Unfortunately women abuse flirting for their own self-esteem and enjoyment thus leading to the male to be unaware of her true intentions or feelings forcing him to yet again put his balls on the line for just another chick who may or may not be interested in him.
Even if it's obviously friendly call their bluff. Call it in a sexual way, too. Slap her arse, grope it - whatever. Just call their damn bluff when they're flirting with you so if they're trying to use you it's nipped in the bud early and leaves them feeling a little violated.
It's win-win - if they are interested, you have moved things up a notch. If not, you have made them feel arkward and you know where you stand.
The Muscly Jerk
musclyjerk said:Call them on their flirtatious bluffs.
Flirting should be resigned to showing signs of interest and that's it. Unfortunately women abuse flirting for their own self-esteem and enjoyment thus leading to the male to be unaware of her true intentions or feelings forcing him to yet again put his balls on the line for just another chick who may or may not be interested in him.
Even if it's obviously friendly call their bluff. Call it in a sexual way, too. Slap her arse, grope it - whatever. Just call their damn bluff when they're flirting with you so if they're trying to use you it's nipped in the bud early and leaves them feeling a little violated.
It's win-win - if they are interested, you have moved things up a notch. If not, you have made them feel arkward and you know where you stand.
The Muscly Jerk
So you just flirt back...like the whole "Woah, I don't know you well enough for that!" type fo thing?
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Cruise got it!
You keep escalating untill she is seduced or shoots you down, and then the ball is in your court whether or not you want to meet her again and start over. I know it becomes a stretch for the conversation, but the more you shag a woman the more attached she gets to you,
You keep escalating untill she is seduced or shoots you down, and then the ball is in your court whether or not you want to meet her again and start over. I know it becomes a stretch for the conversation, but the more you shag a woman the more attached she gets to you,
NorPacWolf
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2005
- Messages
- 370
- Reaction score
- 4
Dude, can you be any more vague? At least write a concise FR.
BannedGod said:I'm working on a girl to get a LTR with her, and she is very flirty with me, but I was wondering... How can I tell innocent flirting from real interest?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.