"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Difference between being mysterious and not interested?

O

Ouzo

Don Juan
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I hear heaps of stuff about ...

  • Don't ring her often
  • Don't sms her often
  • Don't smother her
  • etc

But ...I don't want her to think I'm not interested?

Whats the dealeo here?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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C

Carpe_Diem

Don Juan
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I guess this comes back to making yourself the 'prize'.

Make it evident that you have your own life which is very full, but could possibly spare her a little time in your busy schedule if she can prove she's worth it.
 
I

I'm Joe Dirt

Master Don Juan
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Well it means you don't do those things excessivley I guess.

You don't wanna call her two or three times a day. You also don't wanna keep sending her texts all the time (especially if she has to pay for them by the message like they do in the USA unless they have a text package).

I would say take turns calling eachother. For every time I call I would expect her to call next time. Maybe at first I will call twice in a row if she doesn't call the next day, but try to keep a balance.

If you are the one always making the calls, initiating contact, making the dates, etc. then you seem desperate and needy. By letting her take turns with you doing those things you have a balanced relationship.
 
I

iCY

Don Juan
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theres other ways of showing her your interested, and thats done when your actually with her. not calling too often is just to make her think about you and wonder what your doing/where you are
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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