"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Dieting Induced Depression

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
Was wondering if anyone else has run into this issue.

I’m continuing my summer shred. It’s going well and at this rate I’ll be able to keep the 15 lbs that I’ve lost off. I’m intermittent fasting, tracking my calories, doing my cardio, eating protein, managing the cheat days through fasting, and trying to be better about lifting weights more consistently.

The issue is, every time I enter a calorie deficit: even if it’s just a 400 or 500 calorie one: I get so sluggish, lethargic, and depressed. Even in a small deficit like that, the depression gets really strong. I just don’t feel good: all I want to do is lay in bed.

I’ve accepted that I’m going to inevitably be hungry on a diet. But, honestly the diet induced depression is one of the hardest parts of sticking to the plan. Even eating at maintenance I don’t feel that great. I only feel good when I’m eating in a 500+ calorie surplus lol.

If the only solution is to push through, I’ll push through it so that I can reach my goals this summer. But, I was wondering if anyone else has had this issue? Is there anything that can be done about it?

(P.S. I’m pretty sure I’m eating enough fat. I’m more liable to cut carbs than fats anyways. Also, eating more low calorie dense foods or drinking lots of water/Diet Soda didn’t help either. It would solve the issue for 10-15 minutes and then I’d be right back to where I started.)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Borknagar

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2001
Messages
581
Reaction score
131
Age
47
Location
Minnesota
I'm at about a 1000 calorie deficit myself. I mean compared to how I was eating. A lot of snacking in between meals. trying to shed about 30lb. Just started 2 weeks ago, down about 5lbs, however I lift heavy weights and do negatives so I probably added on a bit of muscle as well.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
I'm at about a 1000 calorie deficit myself. I mean compared to how I was eating. A lot of snacking in between meals. trying to shed about 30lb. Just started 2 weeks ago, down about 5lbs, however I lift heavy weights and do negatives so I probably added on a bit of muscle as well.
I’ve found that larger deficits like that work better for weight loss too. The weight comes off quicker and if you make a mistake(through tracking or social events) it doesn’t instantly cancel out a week of dieting.

I think the culprit is my lack of sleep and inconsistent sleep schedule. (Work has been really heating up lately, so it’s nearly impossible to get my sleep these days.)
 

Machine10033

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
768
Reaction score
1,068
Age
45
I’ve had extreme deficits... numerous times in my life I’ve gotten into the single digit body fat levels. I never got depressed but very, very irritable... I have to manage my workouts by cutting down on volume and pretty much just doing barely enough to maintain the muscle I have. Almost all of my energy goes into cardio.

It’s possible your deficit might be larger than you think. I found over the years that all the sites estimate my basal metabolic rate were off. It always estimated around 2500- 2700.... I found it’s actually higher and when I assumed I was creating a 500 calorie deficit it was more like a 1000. I learned this thru trial and error. Next cut try upping your basal metabolic rate by 300.... and creating the deficit there... if your losing fat assume that’s it.
 
Joined
Jun 29, 2022
Messages
12
Reaction score
27
I see everything through an evolutionary lens. And I find your diet-induced depression interesting, especially given that in our Ancestral Environment humans were usually operating at a caloric deficit. Three square meals a day is a modern invention. Our ancestors very rarely had an abundance of food, yet they still had enough energy to forage, hunt, and have sex. I also doubt they were depressed, as they were too occupied with the anxiety of possible starvation and death every day. I would venture to guess that your depression is mostly non-biological and actually psychological, specifically your attitude towards limiting your food intake vs. eating your normal diet. Americans have a lot of psychological and emotional entanglements when it comes to food. You may want to explore that.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,536
Reaction score
8,536
Age
37
Yes, I was miserable on a super low carb diet. I don’t personally need it though. My body likes carbs. Massive increase in performance when I eat enough carbs. Fast metabolism helps as well.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
Yes, I was miserable on a super low carb diet. I don’t personally need it though. My body likes carbs. Massive increase in performance when I eat enough carbs. Fast metabolism helps as well.
How low carb is low carb if you don’t mind me asking?
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
Only carbs were oatmeal at breakfast. Lunch & dinner we’re protein + veggies + water.

Fvck that ****. I was miserable.
If you took out that breakfast that would literally be a Protein Sparing Modified Fast. Sheesh lol.

Side note, I wanted to try that diet but I couldn’t even make it one day. I refuse to follow a bodybuilding plan without my sauces and spices. It’s the only way to make the diet part enjoyable, for me at least lol.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
I see everything through an evolutionary lens. And I find your diet-induced depression interesting, especially given that in our Ancestral Environment humans were usually operating at a caloric deficit. Three square meals a day is a modern invention. Our ancestors very rarely had an abundance of food, yet they still had enough energy to forage, hunt, and have sex. I also doubt they were depressed, as they were too occupied with the anxiety of possible starvation and death every day. I would venture to guess that your depression is mostly non-biological and actually psychological, specifically your attitude towards limiting your food intake vs. eating your normal diet. Americans have a lot of psychological and emotional entanglements when it comes to food. You may want to explore that.
I’m beginning to think that may be very true. It might not be rooted in the diet at all. Luckily, I’ve been feeling much better lately. As for the reason why, I have no clue lol.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top