"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Dieting Induced Depression

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
Was wondering if anyone else has run into this issue.

I’m continuing my summer shred. It’s going well and at this rate I’ll be able to keep the 15 lbs that I’ve lost off. I’m intermittent fasting, tracking my calories, doing my cardio, eating protein, managing the cheat days through fasting, and trying to be better about lifting weights more consistently.

The issue is, every time I enter a calorie deficit: even if it’s just a 400 or 500 calorie one: I get so sluggish, lethargic, and depressed. Even in a small deficit like that, the depression gets really strong. I just don’t feel good: all I want to do is lay in bed.

I’ve accepted that I’m going to inevitably be hungry on a diet. But, honestly the diet induced depression is one of the hardest parts of sticking to the plan. Even eating at maintenance I don’t feel that great. I only feel good when I’m eating in a 500+ calorie surplus lol.

If the only solution is to push through, I’ll push through it so that I can reach my goals this summer. But, I was wondering if anyone else has had this issue? Is there anything that can be done about it?

(P.S. I’m pretty sure I’m eating enough fat. I’m more liable to cut carbs than fats anyways. Also, eating more low calorie dense foods or drinking lots of water/Diet Soda didn’t help either. It would solve the issue for 10-15 minutes and then I’d be right back to where I started.)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Borknagar

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 7, 2001
Messages
581
Reaction score
131
Age
47
Location
Minnesota
I'm at about a 1000 calorie deficit myself. I mean compared to how I was eating. A lot of snacking in between meals. trying to shed about 30lb. Just started 2 weeks ago, down about 5lbs, however I lift heavy weights and do negatives so I probably added on a bit of muscle as well.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
I'm at about a 1000 calorie deficit myself. I mean compared to how I was eating. A lot of snacking in between meals. trying to shed about 30lb. Just started 2 weeks ago, down about 5lbs, however I lift heavy weights and do negatives so I probably added on a bit of muscle as well.
I’ve found that larger deficits like that work better for weight loss too. The weight comes off quicker and if you make a mistake(through tracking or social events) it doesn’t instantly cancel out a week of dieting.

I think the culprit is my lack of sleep and inconsistent sleep schedule. (Work has been really heating up lately, so it’s nearly impossible to get my sleep these days.)
 

Machine10033

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
768
Reaction score
1,068
Age
45
I’ve had extreme deficits... numerous times in my life I’ve gotten into the single digit body fat levels. I never got depressed but very, very irritable... I have to manage my workouts by cutting down on volume and pretty much just doing barely enough to maintain the muscle I have. Almost all of my energy goes into cardio.

It’s possible your deficit might be larger than you think. I found over the years that all the sites estimate my basal metabolic rate were off. It always estimated around 2500- 2700.... I found it’s actually higher and when I assumed I was creating a 500 calorie deficit it was more like a 1000. I learned this thru trial and error. Next cut try upping your basal metabolic rate by 300.... and creating the deficit there... if your losing fat assume that’s it.
 
Joined
Jun 29, 2022
Messages
12
Reaction score
27
I see everything through an evolutionary lens. And I find your diet-induced depression interesting, especially given that in our Ancestral Environment humans were usually operating at a caloric deficit. Three square meals a day is a modern invention. Our ancestors very rarely had an abundance of food, yet they still had enough energy to forage, hunt, and have sex. I also doubt they were depressed, as they were too occupied with the anxiety of possible starvation and death every day. I would venture to guess that your depression is mostly non-biological and actually psychological, specifically your attitude towards limiting your food intake vs. eating your normal diet. Americans have a lot of psychological and emotional entanglements when it comes to food. You may want to explore that.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

EyeBRollin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 18, 2015
Messages
10,536
Reaction score
8,536
Age
37
Yes, I was miserable on a super low carb diet. I don’t personally need it though. My body likes carbs. Massive increase in performance when I eat enough carbs. Fast metabolism helps as well.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
Yes, I was miserable on a super low carb diet. I don’t personally need it though. My body likes carbs. Massive increase in performance when I eat enough carbs. Fast metabolism helps as well.
How low carb is low carb if you don’t mind me asking?
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
Only carbs were oatmeal at breakfast. Lunch & dinner we’re protein + veggies + water.

Fvck that ****. I was miserable.
If you took out that breakfast that would literally be a Protein Sparing Modified Fast. Sheesh lol.

Side note, I wanted to try that diet but I couldn’t even make it one day. I refuse to follow a bodybuilding plan without my sauces and spices. It’s the only way to make the diet part enjoyable, for me at least lol.
 

nicksaiz65

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 27, 2017
Messages
4,100
Reaction score
1,744
Age
29
I see everything through an evolutionary lens. And I find your diet-induced depression interesting, especially given that in our Ancestral Environment humans were usually operating at a caloric deficit. Three square meals a day is a modern invention. Our ancestors very rarely had an abundance of food, yet they still had enough energy to forage, hunt, and have sex. I also doubt they were depressed, as they were too occupied with the anxiety of possible starvation and death every day. I would venture to guess that your depression is mostly non-biological and actually psychological, specifically your attitude towards limiting your food intake vs. eating your normal diet. Americans have a lot of psychological and emotional entanglements when it comes to food. You may want to explore that.
I’m beginning to think that may be very true. It might not be rooted in the diet at all. Luckily, I’ve been feeling much better lately. As for the reason why, I have no clue lol.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top