Had a day date doing an outdoor activity with a smoking hot personal trainer. This was our second time - the first date was 2 months ago doing the same activity and she declined anything after where I could escalate. This time she reached out, suggested we go again, but added "or get drinks sometime" to it. The activity was something I’m an expert at, in fact part of what I do for a living, and she’s getting into the sport, so I have good frame there...
Towards the end of the day I suggested a few drinks and a hot tub session at a local resort. She was very compliant and enthusiastic about it. Spent about 2 hours there and this was where I envisioned escalating but didn’t do it. Then I suggested we get take out food and go back to my place and she said “maybe, I’m waiting to hear from a client if I have to train early in the morning”. I asked again as we were leaving and she said she was going to play it safe and go to bed early. I got a hug and went home kicking myself because she made everything else that day easy and there were lots of signs of interest.
Tips for escalation besides just growing a pair. Also, any way to recover going into a third date? She said to let her know this week if I’m free.
Is it possible to get a 3rd date? Of course, anything is possible
We don't want to berate you and keep beating a dead horse, but we have to. Realistically speaking you missed your chance. Period!
1st date is where you escalate, if not 2nd date is your last chance. 3rd date, if it happens, it will be two friends hanging out. She most likely sees you as a "friend" and not someone she would consider sex with at this point. Especially, after hanging out in a hot tub for 2 hours?? Come on man! At least you know, next time this better not happen! So view it as a learning opportunity and stop beating yourself up. Let us do that for you.
On a serious note, the 1st date is usually where we highly encourage men to break the physical barrier, a slight touch, holding her waist, putting their hand on her lower back, playful touches (nothing creepy tho! Cool?), etc, etc. Once that barrier is gone, you sexualize a conversation topic and make a move, always play with her imagination. But BE INTENTIONAL.
We honestly don't think a 3rd date will happen. Butttttt if you must know and don't care about the outcome and are realistic about your chances, meaning don't be disappointed if she goes MIA or rejects you (cause you better be ready to expect that) ask her to play a quick game of word association over text (on a night you know she's free) and quickly escalate it by leading the game to sexual words and more importantly playing with her imagination.
Normally, we would advise straight up indirectly suggestion meeting up but that's a hurdle you will most likely struggle with at this point, so a fun quick game of word association that can trigger her imagination can lead to her coming over to your place or going back to the hot tub would be your most realistic chance of allowing her to view you as a potential sexual mate.
However, if that happens, you CANNOT for whatever reason not escalate and miss your chance again. Or it is truly over no matter what you do.
Hope this helps and obviously consider other suggestions/advice here, not just ours.
Cheers,
Modern Man Advice