"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Did I end the conversation right?

S

slight

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A bit of background:
I work as a musician and I'm supposed to play a piece with a female violnist in 10 days.

I got her number, but we chatted for a bit and she seemed to brag about herself: that's she's a fast learner, doesn't have any stage anxiety, won numerous competitions and so on

I kept it light and funny, but right when I was about to exit the room I said:

"Don't worry about the piece then, you'll need about 30mins. to learn it.....if you're really THAT good" in a joking manner.

She seemed a bit surprised by my response and said "Hey....I didn't say that!"

I wasn't trying to put her in her place, just didn't care much at that point. Was it ok on my part?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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MrWood

MrWood

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perfect
she will approach you after the piece, fvck her that night
 
marmel75

marmel75

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Who cares? Honestly the best thing you can do for yourself is to simply not care about what happens during any interaction. You'll succeed more than you could imagine....
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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slight

Don Juan
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Just wanted to hear your opinion. I thought it may have sounded like a neg and don't know if negs are the best way to end a convo.
 
MrWood

MrWood

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it was a neg, and now all she can think of is what you said
do not call or text her... see my previous response
 
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Southbound29

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The neg was perfectly fine. Never feel bad, back pedal or apologize for anything you say during a casual conversation with people as long as it's not done out of hate or anger.
 
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