"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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decision

C

Crazy Asian

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aight there is a girl which i want to ask out, and she is my #1 pick as of now. she is a 7-8 which is pretty good in my book. When i'm with her i don't have to try at all, i'm completely relaxed things just come naturally. Now the problem is that her ex is one of my good friends. She broke up with him, and i don't know how he'll feel about this. I'm a strong believer in bros b4 ho's. So is there like a code among guys about not dating another's ex?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I

Interceptor

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CA,
how long have you been friends? How long were they together?
And how long since the breakup?
 
C

Crazy Asian

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we've been friends for about 2 years. he's on my swim team.
they were together for a few months..... like 4? maybe....
and they've been broken up since the 3-4th quarter of last year.
 
C

Crazy Asian

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as of right now, i'm highly siding with not going out with her.
 
K

KontrollerX

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In these scenarios it all comes down to whose more important to you.

Anyway though you could try asking your bro if it'd be alright for you to get with her.

If he greenlights it outstanding.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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C

Crazy Asian

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yeah i should ask him. but i hinted it once, and tried to ask why they broke up, but he seemed very uncomfortable about the subject
 
C

Cremasta

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Crazy Asian said:
So is there like a code among guys about not dating another's ex?
Click to expand...
There seems to be and I think it's a load of crap.
A huge number of people on this site is happy to sit back and say "Next!" whenever a girl does something wrong by them. But as soon as one of their mates shows an interest in their castoffs, all of a sudden it's like they've still got ownership rights on the girl.

If I'm done with a girl and there's no chance of it being fixed in the future, then I couldn't care less who she goes out with. If it's one of my friends, then great, good luck to them... and no, it doesn't matter who broke it off.

If you want to keep this guy as a friend, better talk to him first. It's been nearly a year now, but if he hasn't gotten over it yet, he never will. It's likely you'll have to make a choice between them if you go after this girl.
 
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