Dealing with declining libido as you age

[Scaramouche]

Dear Visionist,
like you I have been firing on one after a nasty tussle with Mumps 43 years ago...No one told me that it affected ones sex life,at that stage I didn't even know what testosterone was!so I have been happily banging away for all these years,three more sprogs too...Forget about it...The secret to maintaining ANY physical or mental attribute,be it Dancing,gym,flirting or straight out Shvagging is to keep doing it.

 

[Reyaj]

I'm hearing a lot of rationalization on this thread from people not wanting to admit age causes physical losses.

I'm still pretty horny myself but I also do jerk off pretty often. Maybe that is key?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm hearing a lot of rationalization on this thread from people not wanting to admit age causes physical losses.

I'm still pretty horny myself but I also do jerk off pretty often. Maybe that is key?

Actual sex is the key. The older mind is focused on different things. Yes aging had an effect by imho most of it is mental.

 

[Reyaj]

Actual sex is the key. The older kind is focused on different things. Yes aging had an effect by imho most of it is mental.

Sex or masturbation... same release

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sex or masturbation... same release

Its not the same young bro. Yes ejaculation occurs in the end but during the sex act the mind and body are affected very differently during real sex.

There are studies with EEG probes on the skull which prove this. Several mental and chemical processes occur during real sex that cannot occur during masturbation. You pick up on the babes pheromones. She gives into you affecting your state of mind and body consciousness.

Stop trying to defend masturbation.

 

[Reyaj]

Its not the same young bro. Yes ejaculation occurs in the end but during the sex act the mind and body are affected very differently during real sex.

There are studies with EEG probes on the skull which prove this. Several mental and chemical processes occur during real sex that cannot occur during masturbation. You pick up on the babes pheromones. She gives into you affecting your state of mind and body consciousness.

Stop trying to defend masturbation.

I enjoy both. Stop dissing masturbation, it's healthy! Studies show it prevents testicular cancer!

 

[metalwater]

Curious to hear from the over 30 crowd who have struggled with loss in libido.

I'm not talking about erectile dysfunction. I'm specifically talking about sex-drive. I've noticed a sharp decline in mine since turning 40. What concerns me is it seems to be accelerating in the last two years.

Things I have already ruled out:
- My natural T levels are outstanding and my hormones are good
- I exercise plenty (probably sitting around 10-12% body fat)
- Diet has always been good
- I am definitely not depressed or stressed out
- I'm not on any medications.
- I don't really drink alcohol any more though I used to. Don't smoke weed. I do drink coffee. No other recreational drugs

What I notice most is that I never get the urge anymore unless I'm in physical proximity to an attractive girl. If I'm home alone and bored, I will never fap because I never have the urge when alone. I used to randomly get horny (could be anywhere, for no reason) but now I don't really even think about sex unless I'm physically around a girl who turns me on. When I am with a girl, I have no problems, I enjoy it, and I can go for a long time. So if my libido remains as it is today, it's not really a problem, but I am concerned the decline will continue to where I don't care about having sex even when I'm physically with an attractive girl (though that hasn't happened yet).

Would like to hear from those who have experienced similar and have found ways of increasing libido, or have decided to just live with it.

Agree with most of the ideas including exercise and continued usage to maintain.

There seems to be a two way connection between libido and erection. Usually we think about it as one way... libido leads to erection, however I notice that erection also leads to higher libido. When younger, I let some things physically slide causing erection to not work as well. At first I did not notice that, the first notice was libido... I am not an MD so don't know the mechanics of it, but something about erection or pre-erection increases libido, the erection and libido feed off of each other. One of the first places that vascular issue will show in a man is erection/libido. If your sure your T is ok and your Mind is ok as it relates then take a look at shockwave therapy. It can and does solve vascular & some nerve issue that does lead to massive improvements in erection and libido(think, like a teenager). You can just buy a machine online, NO need to pay the huge fees to a Dr. to do it for you.

 

[skinnyguy]

What I notice most is that I never get the urge anymore unless I'm in physical proximity to an attractive girl.

why is that a bad thing

 

[oldmanofthesea]

For all the folks talking about ED - I appreciate the responses but I'm not dealing with that issue myself. I mean, if I've been drinking heavily then yeah it can happen, but I almost never drink anymore, and between that and my exercise and 10% body fat percentage, it's just not something I struggle with.

why is that a bad thing

I have a reply above where I laugh at my own question for that reason. However, there are some effects that are bleeding over into ideal sex life. For example, while I can go multiple rounds with an attractive girl, after the first round it's not as enjoyable for me as it used to be, and I don't orgasm every time. It starts to feel a little more like work - I'm doing it to please her not because I'm really turned on and dying to get in there. I also sometimes can't orgasm even if I want to. The thoughts and fantasies and things that float through my head during sex (or even masturbation which I never do any more so I can save all my libido for my GF/Plate) are much less powerful and don't turn me on and bring me to orgasm as quickly or reliably as they used to. It has always taken me a long time to orgasm, never had an issue with premature ejaculation, so having it take even longer or not even be able to do it at all sometimes can be a bit frustrating and disappointing. The women don't mind, of course... for them the longer the duration, the better, but it would just be nice for me to be "hotter" in my mind. I am willing to accept some of this is just a fact of aging, but that's why I posed the question. I have gotten to a place where I try not to view the object of sex to be an orgasm, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'd like to be able to achieve it as reliably as I used to.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I enjoy both. Stop dissing masturbation, it's healthy! Studies show it prevents testicular cancer!

Young bro... If you have a great sex life, getting puzzy, head and azz on demand without a lot of hurdles the last thing on your mind will be masturbation. Why would one fap to porn when their girls in real life look as good or better than the porn actresses?

 

[Reyaj]

Young bro... If you have a great sex life, getting puzzy, head and azz on demand without a lot of hurdles the last thing on your mind will be masturbation. Why would one fap to porn when their girls in real life look as good or better than the porn actresses?

Who's talking about porn? I rarely ever watch that. I have a high libido, double edged sword sometimes.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Who's talking about porn? I rarely ever watch that. I have a high libido, double edged sword sometimes.

Masturbation isn't even close to sex with a babe who can't get enough of you. I went 16 yrs without touching my c0ck except to piss when I had good situations for myself. It doesn't come up, because you'd rather get head, puzzy or azz. And you can. It's like being able to get real money at will vs getting monopoly money.

 

[Reyaj]

Masturbation isn't even close to sex with a babe who can't get enough of you. I went 16 yrs without touching my c0ck except to piss when I had good situations for myself. It doesn't come up, because you'd rather get head, puzzy or azz. And you can. It's like being able to get real money at will vs getting monopoly money.

Of course sex and masturbation are not the same in the action but the orgasm for the most part is. Ejacuation is ejaculation.

I don't care how hot a girl is, if you are a man of value you will get bored with her and craved new pvssy. Donald Trump, Charlie Sheen...?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Of course sex and masturbation are not the same in the action but the orgasm for the most part is. Ejacuation is ejaculation.

I don't care how hot a girl is, if you are a man of value you will get bored with her and craved new pvssy. Donald Trump, Charlie Sheen...?

I don't base myself on any of Trumps shyt. He's too greedy of a man and too much of a liar and pays for puzzy...

A man should have women attracted to him based on himself and his sex appeal. Not his money, not his friends, not his position or job title.

Sex is way more than ejaculation young brother. There are a lot of feelings that get amplified during real sex. Parts of you that are amplified. Your masculinity is grown. Your hormone levels increased. Your anxiety is reduced by sex. Your confidence level is raised. In masturbation you are literally bleeding things out and not putting things back. It rewards failure.

Get your sex life up!

 

[Reyaj]

I don't base myself on any of Trumps shyt. He's too greedy of a man and too much of a liar and pays for puzzy...

A man should have women attracted to him based on himself and his sex appeal. Not his money, not his friends, not his position or job title.

Sex is way more than ejaculation young brother. There are a lot of feelings that get amplified during real sex. Parts of you that are amplified. Your masculinity is grown. Your hormone levels increased. Your anxiety is reduced by sex. Your confidence level is raised. In masturbation you are literally bleeding things out and not putting things back. It rewards failure.

Get your sex life up!

Lol I'm quite satisfied with my sex life. But the fact of be being a proponent of masturbation causing this defense trigger in you, perhaps you may want to revisit yours.

I think there certainly a placebo effect with confidence when having sex... especially if its a new conquest. There could be equal if not more stress in the after effects though (stage 5 clinger, STDS, pregnancy etc..)

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Lol I'm quite satisfied with my sex life. But the fact of be being a proponent of masturbation causing this defense trigger in you, perhaps you may want to revisit yours.

I think there certainly a placebo effect with confidence when having sex... especially if its a new conquest. There could be equal if not more stress in the after effects though (stage 5 clinger, STDS, pregnancy etc..)

Young brother. I talk from having long term women. Yes I understand the new conquest ego thing. A woman can stroke your mind and body in ways that you cannot yourself. And personally in my life when my sex is the way I want it, masturbation is literally a drag in comparison! Maybe your different and I will give you that. But from what I know in my own life that masturbation pales in comparison to real sex and is the very last thing on my mind if I can have sex how and when I want it!.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've stayed pretty damn horny, even as I've aged (middle-aged now). What really makes the sex drive go into...overdrive (sorry), is flirting. But I think I'm somewhat of an outlier. My same aged friends clearly don't care about Pvssy anywhere near as much as I do. I'm not sure if one can do anything about it. My GF, who is very young, told me I was the 'horniest guy' she's ever been with. It's a two-edged sword. Since when I'm not getting any, I start to go nuts.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've stayed pretty damn horny, even as I've aged (middle-aged now). What really makes the sex drive go into...overdrive (sorry), is flirting. But I think I'm somewhat of an outlier. My same aged friends clearly don't care about Pvssy anywhere near as much as I do. I'm not sure if one can do anything about it. My GF, who is very young, told me I was the 'horniest guy' she's ever been with. It's a two-edged sword. Since when I'm not getting any, I start to go nuts.

Some of those same age mens have compartamentalized so much, have justified so much bullshyt in the opposite gender and builtin protection devices in their mindset that it's off their mind.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Lol I'm quite satisfied with my sex life. But the fact of be being a proponent of masturbation causing this defense trigger in you, perhaps you may want to revisit yours.

I think there certainly a placebo effect with confidence when having sex... especially if its a new conquest. There could be equal if not more stress in the after effects though (stage 5 clinger, STDS, pregnancy etc..)

This being a self-improvement, "better man" website... I didn't think masturbation should take a "centerpiece" as a sexual act. A man should be able to build a reasonable sex life, even if the babes he lays with aren't necessarily physical prototypes...

 

[Solomon]

I'm on day 218 of NOFAP it has changed my life
My sex drive the last few years was going down too mainly due to porn and not being healthy (which im still working on)
Long story short started no fap
First 30 days--energy is amazing
FIrst 60 days-Libido comes back the same as 25
I also did 59 days of Semen retention--more interest from women, more present mentally,
I started having regular sex again etc.

Recently things ended with the girl I'm seeing still on nofap but now doing semen retention again

I highly recommend it for anyone, Porn is the devil and is ruining men's lives