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Dealing with declining libido as you age

oldmanofthesea

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Curious to hear from the over 30 crowd who have struggled with loss in libido.

I'm not talking about erectile dysfunction. I'm specifically talking about sex-drive. I've noticed a sharp decline in mine since turning 40. What concerns me is it seems to be accelerating in the last two years.

Things I have already ruled out:
- My natural T levels are outstanding and my hormones are good
- I exercise plenty (probably sitting around 10-12% body fat)
- Diet has always been good
- I am definitely not depressed or stressed out
- I'm not on any medications.
- I don't really drink alcohol any more though I used to. Don't smoke weed. I do drink coffee. No other recreational drugs

What I notice most is that I never get the urge anymore unless I'm in physical proximity to an attractive girl. If I'm home alone and bored, I will never fap because I never have the urge when alone. I used to randomly get horny (could be anywhere, for no reason) but now I don't really even think about sex unless I'm physically around a girl who turns me on. When I am with a girl, I have no problems, I enjoy it, and I can go for a long time. So if my libido remains as it is today, it's not really a problem, but I am concerned the decline will continue to where I don't care about having sex even when I'm physically with an attractive girl (though that hasn't happened yet).

Would like to hear from those who have experienced similar and have found ways of increasing libido, or have decided to just live with it.
 

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In2theGame

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I started experiencing this a bit by age 35 but i attribute that to all the alcohol I've drank over the years. What I started to do is take ZMA, Testosterone supp that increases your levels naturally and lowers estrogen. Check out a company called Vigor Labs, i tried their "Black Snake" and "Ball Refill" lol funny names but they worked pretty good for me.

Aside from supplements, the most important staples in getting your body in prime condition is health food, weights and sleep/rest.

  • Eggs
  • Steak
  • Avocado's
  • Nuts
  • Heavy Weight Training (Even doing body weights is perfectly fine. The point is to get your body/muscles moving and active)
  • Sleep & Rest can change your life and most people are highly deficient in proper rest.
 

Xenom0rph

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I started taking Boron supplements to reduce my SHBG (Sex Hormone Binding Globulin)....SHBG binds to Free Testosterone making it less available.....

Free Testosterone is more important than Total Testosterone....

The results became noticeable within 1 day....
 

corrector

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There is no decline in libido if I look at escort pics. Even at 44 years old, these pics are still engaging my mind if I look at them. Fapping is usually aggressive with specifically those types of pics because of the mix concept of mindless sex and buying something.
 

mrgoodstuff

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So... There is a difference. Our THOUGHTS are different at 44, 48, 54, etc than they were at 14. At 14 our thoughts were completely unmanaged, not controlled un restricted, we had low to no discipline....

At 44,48, 54 we have people that count on us, things to get done and we are controlled in our thoughts. We usually have discipline. Thus our sexual triggers are not allowed to run freely.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, why it doesn't just KICK in gear like it did before I had discipline.

One thing a man should do especially as he gets older... A man must ensure that he has at least one consistent sex partner, and utilize his organ several times a week ( almost every day ). If a man does not, it's highly probably that his sex and sex drive will decrease from a lack of use and a lack of priority.

Women often think that killing off sex thoughts has nothing but positive consequences. That's not true. Those thoughts grease other quadrants of the mind. Imagination, passion, Brilliance, etc are much better in a sexed man.

The example of Tyson going without it for 5-6 years and having a brilliant boxing career in that period... Well that man needed ***** badly, and his ego highly offended. SO he was going to be tearing heads off.
 
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oldmanofthesea

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I started taking Boron supplements to reduce my SHBG (Sex Hormone Binding Globulin)....SHBG binds to Free Testosterone making it less available.....

Free Testosterone is more important than Total Testosterone....

The results became noticeable within 1 day....
Yeah I read that too and had been supplementing with Boron. My SHBG and T levels are quite good though. I did have some issue with really good T, but low free-T and high SHBG like 5 years ago or so but my latest labs look solid. I should try getting back on the Boron though to see if it still helps.
 

Kotaix

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Staying active is key. For me, I can feel that my libido reduces if I let off the exersize.

Also, a lot of it is in how your mind will change as you get older. You no longer think about women so much it's because you're not a horny teenager and in theory can get sex on a regular basis, and you're not a blue pilled guy whose happiness depends on having a woman at your side at all times for social validation.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Staying active is key. For me, I can feel that my libido reduces if I let off the exersize.

Also, a lot of it is in how your mind will change as you get older. You no longer think about women so much it's because you're not a horny teenager and in theory can get sex on a regular basis, and you're not a blue pilled guy whose happiness depends on having a woman at your side at all times for social validation.
Staying active keeps physical somewhat as a priority. Otherwise it will become deprioritized. Cardio being lean and good heart health are vital for stronger and longer boners.
 

mrgoodstuff

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So... There is a difference. Our THOUGHTS are different at 44, 48, 54, etc than they were at 14. At 14 our thoughts were completely unmanaged, not controlled un restricted, we had low to no discipline....

At 44,48, 54 we have people that count on us, things to get done and we are controlled in our thoughts. We usually have discipline. Thus our sexual triggers are not allowed to run freely.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, why it doesn't just KICK in gear like it did before I had discipline.

One thing a man should do especially as he gets older... A man must ensure that he has at least one consistent sex partner, and utilize his organ several times a week ( almost every day ). If a man does not, it's highly probably that his sex and sex drive will decrease from a lack of use and a lack of priority.

Women often think that killing off sex thoughts has nothing but positive consequences. That's not true. Those thoughts grease other quadrants of the mind. Imagination, passion, Brilliance, etc are much better in a sexed man.

The example of Tyson going without it for 5-6 years and having a brilliant boxing career in that period... Well that man needed ***** badly, and his ego highly offended. SO he was going to be tearing heads off.
Our brains are different. Our priorities are different.
 

Xenom0rph

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Okay another one of my secret weapons: Tadalafil (generic Cialis)

I'm 37 and i work a stressful job in finance. I'm taking 5mg tadalafil as a way to ensure I'm always ready....

While Tadalafil doesnt necessarily increase sex drive physiologically, I've found that walking around ready to go at a moments notice increases my sex drive psychologically.....

With Tadalafil, a woman can just smile at me and I'm rock hard ready to go.
 
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jaymbrs

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So... There is a difference. Our THOUGHTS are different at 44, 48, 54, etc than they were at 14. At 14 our thoughts were completely unmanaged, not controlled un restricted, we had low to no discipline....

At 44,48, 54 we have people that count on us, things to get done and we are controlled in our thoughts. We usually have discipline. Thus our sexual triggers are not allowed to run freely.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, why it doesn't just KICK in gear like it did before I had discipline.

One thing a man should do especially as he gets older... A man must ensure that he has at least one consistent sex partner, and utilize his organ several times a week ( almost every day ). If a man does not, it's highly probably that his sex and sex drive will decrease from a lack of use and a lack of priority.

Women often think that killing off sex thoughts has nothing but positive consequences. That's not true. Those thoughts grease other quadrants of the mind. Imagination, passion, Brilliance, etc are much better in a sexed man.

The example of Tyson going without it for 5-6 years and having a brilliant boxing career in that period... Well that man needed ***** badly, and his ego highly offended. SO he was going to be tearing heads off.
So in other words, if you dont use it, you lose it? Lol

Honestly my sex drive has gone down for sure but I equate it to have done a whole bunch of things already that have satisfied my mind. So having sex now isn't really top priority for me. I spin it in a positive way though and look at it as I'm able to make sounder decisions with women and my current GF can't technically withhold sex from me and it also makes her want me more. Who knows if that'll last forever but in the current state, I control the sex.
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Curious to hear from the over 30 crowd who have struggled with loss in libido.

I'm not talking about erectile dysfunction. I'm specifically talking about sex-drive. I've noticed a sharp decline in mine since turning 40. What concerns me is it seems to be accelerating in the last two years.

Things I have already ruled out:
- My natural T levels are outstanding and my hormones are good
- I exercise plenty (probably sitting around 10-12% body fat)
- Diet has always been good
- I am definitely not depressed or stressed out
- I'm not on any medications.
- I don't really drink alcohol any more though I used to. Don't smoke weed. I do drink coffee. No other recreational drugs

What I notice most is that I never get the urge anymore unless I'm in physical proximity to an attractive girl. If I'm home alone and bored, I will never fap because I never have the urge when alone. I used to randomly get horny (could be anywhere, for no reason) but now I don't really even think about sex unless I'm physically around a girl who turns me on. When I am with a girl, I have no problems, I enjoy it, and I can go for a long time. So if my libido remains as it is today, it's not really a problem, but I am concerned the decline will continue to where I don't care about having sex even when I'm physically with an attractive girl (though that hasn't happened yet).

Would like to hear from those who have experienced similar and have found ways of increasing libido, or have decided to just live with it.
Have you been with a fair amount of women? And do you feel like you have had enough variety and accomplished what you wanted to in regards to sex? To some degree, that is what has happened for me. A feeling kind of like: “is that all there is?”

Like you, I have no problem performing which is awesome considering that I’m 62 now. but it’s just not that important to me anymore, it doesn’t drive me like it used to. In terms of volume, I’ve had sex thousands of times. So you get to a point where it’s just not that exciting or unique anymore.

-Augustus-
 

Alvafe

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yeah 35 here and still the same drive, so I can't really put much on it, only then the less you do, less you feel like doing
 

Who Dares Win

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My sex drive has never been out of control as many men around me, I've never been the kind of guy driving for hours only to meet a girl let alone wasting money in dinner with no sure return.

In my late 20s I reached the current state, I basically need to have a goodlooking and flirty woman near me in order to start the libido engine.

I could have the hottest girl possible in front of me yet if she is not flirty or its obviously a neutral setting, I do not get turned on.

I never had problems to get an erection, but I often had mental lag before real intimacy actually happened, plenty of times I had girls kissing me before I kissed them at clubs only then I slowly felt it growing.

I believe many of us are simply wired to self control unlike others who cant fight the urge to eat that choccolate bar or make a fool of themselves chasing women which in many cases are not even intersted.

Also I notice I can turn off my libido at will, I could easily stop mid fvck or mid fap and do other things with minimum conseguences.

I guess this current world forces a man to develop an overeffective self control which makes it hard to enjoy such things freely.
 
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oldmanofthesea

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Have you been with a fair amount of women? And do you feel like you have had enough variety and accomplished what you wanted to in regards to sex? To some degree, that is what has happened for me. A feeling kind of like: “is that all there is?”

Like you, I have no problem performing which is awesome considering that I’m 62 now. but it’s just not that important to me anymore, it doesn’t drive me like it used to. In terms of volume, I’ve had sex thousands of times. So you get to a point where it’s just not that exciting or unique anymore.

-Augustus-
I've been with a fair amount of women yes. I've been fortunate enough to have good choice with early 20's women even at the ripe old age of 43. I haven't accomplished everything I want, but close: I've slept with plenty of women who I see as 8's, but probably none I'd call 9's (and I don't believe in 10's). But I think even given that, your point still stands..... "Is that all there is?" Basically, perhaps now that I know what the pot at the end of the rainbow is like (the physical aspects of it), combined with the mental aspects I have learned here on SS and read about in books, it really takes away a lot of the mystique and perceived-value that may serve as libido motivator. It would have to be at the subconscious level though, because unlike some years ago, I'm never doing something mundane like mowing the lawn and suddenly become extremely horny for no reason.

So... There is a difference. Our THOUGHTS are different at 44, 48, 54, etc than they were at 14. At 14 our thoughts were completely unmanaged, not controlled un restricted, we had low to no discipline....
It's funny you mention this because as I typed out my question, I could hear myself asking, "Why are you stating this like it's a PROBLEM? You get horny when you are around your hot GF or hot plates, you can have sex with them several times a day, you don't get random boners, and you don't get randomly horny for no good reason and have to fight the urges all the time - where's the problem?!?!" I'm just slightly worried about it getting worse over time to where I am no longer interested in sex with an attractive girl I'm with.
 

Augustus_McCrae

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I've been with a fair amount of women yes. I've been fortunate enough to have good choice with early 20's women even at the ripe old age of 43. I haven't accomplished everything I want, but close: I've slept with plenty of women who I see as 8's, but probably none I'd call 9's (and I don't believe in 10's). But I think even given that, your point still stands..... "Is that all there is?" Basically, perhaps now that I know what the pot at the end of the rainbow is like (the physical aspects of it), combined with the mental aspects I have learned here on SS and read about in books, it really takes away a lot of the mystique and perceived-value that may serve as libido motivator. It would have to be at the subconscious level though, because unlike some years ago, I'm never doing something mundane like mowing the lawn and suddenly become extremely horny for no reason.



It's funny you mention this because as I typed out my question, I could hear myself asking, "Why are you stating this like it's a PROBLEM? You get horny when you are around your hot GF or hot plates, you can have sex with them several times a day, you don't get random boners, and you don't get randomly horny for no good reason and have to fight the urges all the time - where's the problem?!?!" I'm just slightly worried about it getting worse over time to where I am no longer interested in sex with an attractive girl I'm with.
If you haven’t already experimented with Bondage and D/s, you might want to look into it. It can be a real turn on depending on who you are and your personality.

-Augustus-
 

mrgoodstuff

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I've been with a fair amount of women yes. I've been fortunate enough to have good choice with early 20's women even at the ripe old age of 43. I haven't accomplished everything I want, but close: I've slept with plenty of women who I see as 8's, but probably none I'd call 9's (and I don't believe in 10's). But I think even given that, your point still stands..... "Is that all there is?" Basically, perhaps now that I know what the pot at the end of the rainbow is like (the physical aspects of it), combined with the mental aspects I have learned here on SS and read about in books, it really takes away a lot of the mystique and perceived-value that may serve as libido motivator. It would have to be at the subconscious level though, because unlike some years ago, I'm never doing something mundane like mowing the lawn and suddenly become extremely horny for no reason.



It's funny you mention this because as I typed out my question, I could hear myself asking, "Why are you stating this like it's a PROBLEM? You get horny when you are around your hot GF or hot plates, you can have sex with them several times a day, you don't get random boners, and you don't get randomly horny for no good reason and have to fight the urges all the time - where's the problem?!?!" I'm just slightly worried about it getting worse over time to where I am no longer interested in sex with an attractive girl I'm with.
If we stay fvcking we are good.
 

oldmanofthesea

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If you haven’t already experimented with Bondage and D/s, you might want to look into it. It can be a real turn on depending on who you are and your personality.

-Augustus-
I haven't but a little under a year ago I cold approached this 29yo 9 (she looked more like 21) and after our first date she was dropping some key words that suggested she was into ****. It's nothing that ever interested me, but since she was a 9 I downloaded an e-Book on **** to educate myself a bit. It didn't really speak to me but by reading the book, I also recognized that it's probably something you have to experience in order to truly know if it would turn you on. Unfortunately I had to dismiss the 29yo before I slept with her so I never got the chance to try **** (or get with a 9 for that matter). I might ask my current GF if she'd be interested in it...

Edit - Why is B-D-S-M censored?
 
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Visionist

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^ I thought those four censored letters were "$hit" lmao. That's one bridge I have no intention of ever crossing in the bedroom or anywhere else.

Ever since I lost a testicle in 2014, my testosterone has been low, often very low, as my other testicle was born atrophied and useless. Up until early 2017 I was lifting and swimming and I saw modest gains, but testosterone shots (which I'm finally taking now) would have improved things I feel.

It is nice to have lowered desire as women are only a big deal when they're aren't any hitting you up for sex and lowered desire puts the power back in your court. But it stops you pursuing excellence. Seeing women as validators is also a serious problem.

For the record, I'm 31. I suffer from flaccid d!ck during sex if I feel the girl isn't into me. Condoms don't help either, and of course my XXL pizza belly needs to go away already.

I really miss having my nuts sucked. Used to feel so good... now it's just painful.
 
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