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Dealing with a women when she is depressed.

bmp2cpm

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Unless it's a serious mental illness, the following applies:

A man leads a woman. The woman follows the man that has the resources she needs. Following a man who has the resources she needs makes the woman happy. This is basic biology.

If your woman is depressed for no good reason, then it's time to eject. You don't have what she needs resource-wise. Not a big deal though, because in today's world of feminism, women get all their resources on their own and they don't need men. According to recent surveys, women are more unhappy than they have ever been, and at the peak of feminism when they can "have it all".

Find the rare woman who sees you as the one that has the resources she needs, lead her, and you will have a happy woman for life. Another name for it that you are more familiar with is "soulmate".

This woman is not your soulmate.
 

Fruitbat

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Unless it's a serious mental illness, the following applies:

A man leads a woman. The woman follows the man that has the resources she needs. Following a man who has the resources she needs makes the woman happy. This is basic biology.

If your woman is depressed for no good reason, then it's time to eject. You don't have what she needs resource-wise. Not a big deal though, because in today's world of feminism, women get all their resources on their own and they don't need men. According to recent surveys, women are more unhappy than they have ever been, and at the peak of feminism when they can "have it all".

Find the rare woman who sees you as the one that has the resources she needs, lead her, and you will have a happy woman for life. Another name for it that you are more familiar with is "soulmate".

This woman is not your soulmate.
Depression is a serious illness, low mood is what most people call depression.

Things which make the difference in my experience:

- Just not caring about hobbies
- Not caring about appearance
- Not seeing family and friends
- (big one for my depression) Not giving a damn about what people think, actively pushing people away, even by making up terrible things about youwhich aren't true
- Doing impulsive things
- Existential crisis. If they are talking about death or the meaning of life, they are depressed.
- Suicidal thoughts, even if they are not serious. Hallmark of real depression. I have had this ever since I could remember. Sorry to make this about me but I am just sharing this for the sake of knowing the difference between real depression and low mood....big difference.

Otherwise totally agree....a lot of folks think depression is sat in a dark room. This is only partly true. When I was really bad, I was fighting and drinking and trying to have sex with every women I met.
 

XFORCE

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I spent 2yrs helping my exgf get thru her issues. But it took a huge toll on our relationship. It killed attraction. It put me in a place where I was her counselor, not her lover anymore. My role was gradually redefined to the point she was more like my child. She still saw me the same, but I didn't see her the same anymore. Its like I friend-zoned my own girlfriend.
I'm just getting started with my GF trying to get through her issues and depression. I want to be there for her but I've never heard this before although it makes COMPLETE sense. This is gold. I'm storing this in my memory banks for future use.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I'm just getting started with my GF trying to get through her issues and depression. I want to be there for her but I've never heard this before although it makes COMPLETE sense. This is gold. I'm storing this in my memory banks for future use.
She has to help herself. Your input or contribution needs to be minimized .
 

XFORCE

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She has to help herself. Your input or contribution needs to be minimized .
Yes, this is sounding like the correct way of proceeding. Going through this previously when my dad had depression, I know now he had to figure it out on his own.
When you mention input or contribution, are you referring to my efforts to discuss/understand what she's going through? Or minimize the time I'll be spending with her?
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Yes, this is sounding like the correct way of proceeding. Going through this previously when my dad had depression, I know now he had to figure it out on his own.
When you mention input or contribution, are you referring to my efforts to discuss/understand what she's going through? Or minimize the time I'll be spending with her?
Just layback let her come to you if she wants to talk . There's alot of action she needs to take to start correcting the condition .
 

mrgoodstuff

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Just layback let her come to you if she wants to talk . There's alot of action she needs to take to start correcting the condition .
She shouldn't be drinking alcohol, or listening to or living in drama. This includes gossip .She needs to minimize negativity and stress. If she's overweight she needs to drop weight . The meds help for the short term, I'm not a fan of staying on them.
 

billtx49

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The meds help for the short term, I'm not a fan of staying on them.
Yes, but the usual story with many women is that they refuse to get the professional therapy they need because they can’t admit there’s anything seriously wrong their past that they can’t deal with correctly.
As a result of that line of thinking they go see an agreeable GP and get scripts for lexapro and ambien and go long term…
The biggest eventual problem with that approach is if she ever does go off the meds, there’s hell to pay for everyone around her when all the artifically suppressed emotions resurface again…
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Yes, but the usual story with many women is that they refuse to get the professional therapy they need because they can’t admit there’s anything seriously wrong their past that they can’t deal with correctly.
As a result of that line of thinking they go see an agreeable GP and get scripts for lexapro and ambien and go long term…
The biggest eventual problem with that approach is if she ever does go off the meds, there’s hell to pay for everyone around her when all the artifically suppressed emotions resurface again…
Right. She's going to keep lying to herself and her girlfriends will keep covering, keeping her mentally I'll.

People like this are hurting badly and for a temporary feeling of relief they empower themselves over a man or disrespecting or violating him . It never ends because they don't fix the problem .
 

billtx49

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People like this are hurting badly and for a temporary feeling of relief they empower themselves over a man or disrespecting or violating him . It never ends because they don't fix the problem .
Exactly right, had one get physical with me over nothing once to exert power……
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yes, but the usual story with many women is that they refuse to get the professional therapy they need because they can’t admit there’s anything seriously wrong their past that they can’t deal with correctly.
As a result of that line of thinking they go see an agreeable GP and get scripts for lexapro and ambien and go long term…
The biggest eventual problem with that approach is if she ever does go off the meds, there’s hell to pay for everyone around her when all the artifically suppressed emotions resurface again…
And those emotions will surface. You need to take care of the problem. In my opinion most depression is completely fixable, they just have to change their lives a bit .
 

billtx49

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And those emotions will surface. You need to take care of the problem. In my opinion most depression is completely fixable, they just have to change their lives a bit .
No, it’s all mental and how they deal with past trauma. If stepdad raped you, you have to get professional help.
 

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billtx49

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I agree. Tons needs to be done.
Judging by your responses though, you probably already knew she was messed up and only wanted confirmation. Been there before…
Join her past man crowd, there were probably more than a few ahead of you…
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Judging by your responses though, you probably already knew she was messed up and only wanted confirmation. Been there before…
Join her past man crowd, there were probably more than a few ahead of you…
From your comments are you giving me input on inside info I'm unaware of . I wasn't talking about myself in the current . But I've had those experiences and my nature gives me interest in how things work and how their put together.

Folks that treat others like shyt usually feel real ****ty about themselves and they do that to make them feel a little better relative to you.
 

XFORCE

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She shouldn't be drinking alcohol, or listening to or living in drama. This includes gossip .She needs to minimize negativity and stress. If she's overweight she needs to drop weight . The meds help for the short term, I'm not a fan of staying on them.
She drinks wine casually and EVERYONE in her life has drama. Her friends actually compete to see who's trauma is worse and I could believe the amount of negativity and stress that surrounds her. Every new person I met that's in her life has got problems that she feels she needs to be involved in. Through good genetics, she appears to be in great shape (nice body) but she smokes, doesn't exercise and eats only when necessary.

To sum everything up, she's doing the exact opposite of your good suggestions.
 

mrgoodstuff

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She drinks wine casually and EVERYONE in her life has drama. Her friends actually compete to see who's trauma is worse and I could believe the amount of negativity and stress that surrounds her. Every new person I met that's in her life has got problems that she feels she needs to be involved in. Through good genetics, she appears to be in great shape (nice body) but she smokes, doesn't exercise and eats only when necessary.

To sum everything up, she's doing the exact opposite of your good suggestions.
Each of my suggestion would diminish stress a little bit and all together will remove most of the stress component.

She shouldn't be sharing emotions with folks who are so unstable.

She's addicted to the bullshyt. Take some folks out of it and they think their bored . Pick up a sport or hobbies that Spurs your passions Instead .
 
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