mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She has to help herself. Your input or contribution needs to be minimized .
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dealing with a women when she is depressed.
- Thread starter 00Kevin
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
XFORCE
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2017
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Yes, this is sounding like the correct way of proceeding. Going through this previously when my dad had depression, I know now he had to figure it out on his own.
When you mention input or contribution, are you referring to my efforts to discuss/understand what she's going through? Or minimize the time I'll be spending with her?
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Just layback let her come to you if she wants to talk . There's alot of action she needs to take to start correcting the condition .
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She shouldn't be drinking alcohol, or listening to or living in drama. This includes gossip .She needs to minimize negativity and stress. If she's overweight she needs to drop weight . The meds help for the short term, I'm not a fan of staying on them.
Yes, but the usual story with many women is that they refuse to get the professional therapy they need because they can’t admit there’s anything seriously wrong their past that they can’t deal with correctly.
As a result of that line of thinking they go see an agreeable GP and get scripts for lexapro and ambien and go long term…
The biggest eventual problem with that approach is if she ever does go off the meds, there’s hell to pay for everyone around her when all the artifically suppressed emotions resurface again…
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Right. She's going to keep lying to herself and her girlfriends will keep covering, keeping her mentally I'll.
People like this are hurting badly and for a temporary feeling of relief they empower themselves over a man or disrespecting or violating him . It never ends because they don't fix the problem .
Exactly right, had one get physical with me over nothing once to exert power……
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
And those emotions will surface. You need to take care of the problem. In my opinion most depression is completely fixable, they just have to change their lives a bit .
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Me too . They do it because they can. If you take it you just gave up half your balls .
No, it’s all mental and how they deal with past trauma. If stepdad raped you, you have to get professional help.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
I agree. Tons needs to be done.
Yes sir. A woman carrying around that much past baggage needs to repair herself first before she gets a live in or LTR…
Judging by your responses though, you probably already knew she was messed up and only wanted confirmation. Been there before…
Join her past man crowd, there were probably more than a few ahead of you…
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mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
From your comments are you giving me input on inside info I'm unaware of . I wasn't talking about myself in the current . But I've had those experiences and my nature gives me interest in how things work and how their put together.
Folks that treat others like shyt usually feel real ****ty about themselves and they do that to make them feel a little better relative to you.
XFORCE
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2017
- Messages
- 56
- Reaction score
- 38
- Age
- 50
She drinks wine casually and EVERYONE in her life has drama. Her friends actually compete to see who's trauma is worse and I could believe the amount of negativity and stress that surrounds her. Every new person I met that's in her life has got problems that she feels she needs to be involved in. Through good genetics, she appears to be in great shape (nice body) but she smokes, doesn't exercise and eats only when necessary.
To sum everything up, she's doing the exact opposite of your good suggestions.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Each of my suggestion would diminish stress a little bit and all together will remove most of the stress component.
She shouldn't be sharing emotions with folks who are so unstable.
She's addicted to the bullshyt. Take some folks out of it and they think their bored . Pick up a sport or hobbies that Spurs your passions Instead .