"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Dealing with a girl trying to change you

Austin Allegro

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Went on a second date last night and this woman is already trying to change me! However I countered it with a good tip.

She ran her fingers through my hair and said I should shave my hair off (I'm going a bit bald). Now back in the AFC day, I would have supplicated and said 'oh really, mmmm, yes, if you think so, ok' etc

Instead I countered it with the things I say to get rid of cold calling salesmen at work.

HER I really think you should shave your head.
ME Thank you for your suggestion, which will be kept on file.
HER (flustered) No, I really think it would look better.
ME I'm currently satisfied with my present style, but should that situation change, I may be back in touch.
HER (even more flustered and looking like a seven year old denied an ice cream) You say all the WRONG things!

I ended up 'making out' with her so it seemed to work ok.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJ Alejandro

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what for? you got her by being what you are right now. never change what works.

no one is worth changing for, unless YOU know its for the better.
 

stealth_iitg

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Hey, you are an Englishman.......listened to Ozzy ever?

"I don't wanna change the world...I don't want the world to change me"......... :))

That said, it's important to let others know that you are open to their suggestions, but at the same time you are confident enough about who you are NOW..........so, as you said, tell 'em that you'll keep their suggestions on file ;-)

Good goin' with that woman.......what's the count, man?
 

Austin Allegro

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It's an interesting example, because one thing I've learned through management textbooks is that you should praise what you like about someone rather than criticising what you don't like.

Eg. this same girl looks MUCH better in her formal work clothes than in her casual clothes, so instead of saying 'I don't think you should wear combats and a sweater' I said 'you know you look really good in a skirt and jacket'.

Stealth - not sure what you mean, 'what's the count'?
 

SxyPlayette

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lol well I think that's funny. Some people actually look a whole lot better & much attractive with their har cut and neat, but if shaving means going MJ good luck.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Austin Allegro

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I presume by floored you mean had sex with - 12 at last count, not that it's any business of yours!:D
 
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