Deal Breakers

[Latinoman]

A female friend and I were talking and the issue of deal breakers came up. She asked me if I had any if so, what they were.

For a man that has managed to get involved in "committed" relationships, I do have a laundry list of "deal breakers". Now, what does that mean? It means that I have very high standards, very high self-value, and that there are obviously "quality women" out there.

Here is what I shared with my friend.

No everybody has the same deal breakers…but for ME, it depends of what I want with the woman (relationship or just a fling or just sex). So,

1. I would not even date a woman (not even for a fling or just sex) that

a) she is into one-night stands such as meeting random people and having sex (I can give them the benefit of the doubt if it happened once and over 15 years ago)

b) she has engaged into sexual behavior that I personally find deplorable (eg. group sex, wife-swapping, prostitution, work as a stripper)

c) she uses illegal substances, such as marihuana or other drugs (even "recreational)

d) she has an addiction to drugs (legal or illegal)

e) she has committed a certain crimes such as selling drugs, sex with minors, stealing

f) she has served in prison

g) she is unclean

h) she is unemployed

If she has done a-f above, then I don’t even bother getting involved with her. Not even for casual sex.

2. If I’m already involved with her…(e.g. committed relationship)

a) If she cheats on me, it is OVER.
b) If she disrespects me in a very serious way, it is OVER.
c) If she gets involved with crime, illegal drugs, or any addiction to drugs, it is OVER.
d) If she has a very low sexual drive, it is OVER (as it is an indication that we are not compatible).

3. I might consider having a fling with a woman, but would NOT have with her a SERIOUS relationship (in another words, I would never be in a committed relationship other than just sex), if

a) she has minor children
b) is going through a bitter divorce
c) she is over 21, but under 26.
d) she is over 50
e) she is incompetent at her work/career
f) she does not have an education
g) she works as a bartender, hairdresser, barber, waitress
h) she has a boyfriend, lover, fiance, or is married

Now, if a man like me, that have very high standards went from one relationship to another...wouldn't any man with less stringent requirements manage to at least find ONE quality woman? When I say there are plenty of quality women out there (more so than "M"en)...I truly mean it.

 

[tick37]

What would you say about a girl who was formerly a stripper, but now has finished school and has a great job?

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Bad breath/smelly puzzy. Game over.

 

[tick37]

hahahaha

 

[logic1]

g) she works as a bartender, hairdresser, barber, waitress

Hey Latinoman, I'm curious of what you have experienced with the hairdresser, nail tech type.

I agree with most of your others but this is the first time I have seen a hairdresser as a dealbreaker. I'm sure you have a reason. Just interested in your experience. I agree with the bartender and possibly the waitress

 

[tick37]

Hey Latinoman, I'm curious of what you have experienced with the hairdresser, nail tech type.

I agree with most of your others but this is the first time I have seen a hairdresser as a dealbreaker. I'm sure you have a reason. Just interested in your experience. I agree with the bartender and possibly the waitress

I was married to a hairdresser, and she was unfaithful. I was told by several people that should would turn out that way, too, and that was after I told them her profession.

 

[Mr. Me]

It's probably because hairdressers comb through a lot of guys.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

You need to add one more.

Never consider an LTR with a woman who carries a credit debt load in excess of $10K.

You have been warned

 

[Latinoman]

What would you say about a girl who was formerly a stripper, but now has finished school and has a great job?

"b) she has engaged into sexual behavior that I personally find deplorable (eg. group sex, wife-swapping, prostitution, work as a stripper)"

 

[Latinoman]

You need to add one more.

Never consider an LTR with a woman who carries a credit debt load in excess of $10K.

You have been warned

Yes! That's a HUGE one!

 

[Latinoman]

Hey Latinoman, I'm curious of what you have experienced with the hairdresser, nail tech type.

I agree with most of your others but this is the first time I have seen a hairdresser as a dealbreaker. I'm sure you have a reason. Just interested in your experience. I agree with the bartender and possibly the waitress

I don't mind for a fling or just sex.

But I won't consider them for a LTR. It has more to do with where I am right now (career wise) with my life and where I am expecting to be in the next 5-10 years.

I make an exception if she is the OWNER of a restaurant or OWNER of the beauty salon. As I consider that an entrepenaur.

 

[Latinoman]

I am liberal when it comes to sex. And I don't even care what people do. But when it comes to picking a woman for a LTR, the following two are very important deal breakers (even if they took place in her past).

"a) she is into one-night stands such as meeting random people and having sex (I can give them the benefit of the doubt if it happened once and over 15 years ago)

b) she has engaged into sexual behavior that I personally find deplorable (eg. group sex, wife-swapping, prostitution, work as a stripper)"

Here is why...she has already engaged in certain behavior that society give a woman a lot of negative labels. Therefore, when a woman goes to that extreme and deviates in such a way from society views...you can rest assured that the likelihood the same woman not having any issues reverting to similar (even a notch-below) behavior are greater. Especially if things don't go well in the relationship. And we all know that relationships go through bumps.

A "notch-below"? Well...if she was engaged with group sex in her past...perhaps now she will simply suck some random man's d_ick if the relationship becomes turbulent.

 

[Colossus]

Props for a great thread. :rockon:

I'll add a few of my own:

GENERAL dealbreakers (will not engage or will dump)

-Smoking, even casuallly.
-Women who cannot hold their liquor
-Women with ANY transmittable health issues. I dont care if she "had one outbreak 5 years ago".
-Poor personal hygeine. This includes BAD BREATH! Total killer for me.
-Drug use, outside of the occaisional mary jane
-Uptightness or inability to take a joke.
-Inordinately outspoken or forward about politics and religion
-Married women
-Past engagement in sexual behavior i find dirty (group, porn, stripping, weird stuff)
-A woman who has been in a relationship with any of my good friends
-Women whom i know are or have been slutty in the past
-Early disregard of my time---bad sign
-Flaking---very intolerant unless there is a legit reason. Repeated flaking is never ok.

Relationship dealbreakers (short-term or long-term)

-Cheating, in any form (cheating being sex outside of a mutual agreement of exclusivity)
-Making unreasonable demands
-Stealing or blackmailing
-Hard drug use
-Excessive partying/sleeping at parties, etc.
-Nitpicking about my life (clothes, hobbies, friends, music, etc.)
-Serious or purposeful disrespect
-Consistent disregard of my time
-Significant dishonesty
-Consistent fussiness about sex
-High-maintenance behavior


There are many situations or acts that would constitute a dealbreaker; too many to list. A lot of the above are dealbreakers for me NOW, but werent in past relationships.

 

[Colossus]

Now, if a man like me, that have very high standards went from one relationship to another...wouldn't any man with less stringent requirements manage to at least find ONE quality woman? When I say there are plenty of quality women out there (more so than "M"en)...I truly mean it.

I agree. You just have to know where to look. A respectable MAN can find a respectable woman.

Soooo many guys here sing the blues about the lack of quality/respectable/good-hearted women out there...but if you fish out of a tainted pond, you're going to get sour fish.

 

[Mr. Me]

if you fish out of a tainted pond, you're going to get sour fish.

I'm just looking for a blowfish.

 

[Colossus]

I'm just looking for a blowfish.

Hahaha! nice

 

[Knight's Cross]

My list is based on Doc Love's 3, everytime I've deviated I have done so at my own peril. Necessary ingredients can be summed up real easy see below:

Integrity
Giving Nature
Flexible

You can really sum all the comments above into the above 3. Granted finding a blowfish might be slightly more of a challenge. Good one Mr. M!

KC

 

[drmeathead]

Hey Latinoman, I'm curious of what you have experienced with the hairdresser, nail tech type.

I agree with most of your others but this is the first time I have seen a hairdresser as a dealbreaker. I'm sure you have a reason. Just interested in your experience. I agree with the bartender and possibly the waitress

even though i wasnt asked. i agree the hairdresser type is out i as i feel they...

usually not well educated
usually give off the vibe they are money hungry
talk too damn much about nothing...see number one
are usually way way way too made up
have a heighted sense of their own importance and feel entitled...see number two



now bartenders

usually are big fish in small ponds as they have every drunk guy hitting on them. they know they could go home with any of the drunk guys they flirt with. as such, they seem constantly and blatantly on the look out for the BBD.

however they seem to be more focused on the "hot bad boy" rather than the "rich" guy but while a certain percent are putting themselves through school with their tips alot of them use the tips as a disposable income and seen to live in the moment well above their means.


just my thoughts

 

[speed dawg]

Latinoman, why exactly would you not date a hairdresser?

Nevermind, just saw the response.

 

[MacAvoy]

I don't keep a list, I just use my common sense and moral compass (note: I expect women to be about 100 times more moral than I am) I am a hypocrite in that manner.