Dating vs hookup

[Cheeky_James]

Really appreciate the thoughtfulness of this post. It's so weird how I lost my cool in this. You are totally right though that wicked combo of unavailability and good sex drove me. If she was keen I'd probably have downgraded the entire thing and run my typical avoidant approach. I killed this opportunity and I need to fill that hole you speak of. I think the other issue is all my friends are in relationships so I dont have wingman, mates to hang with that dont include there partners. I need some single mates. Thats the real issue here.



You handled it well dude, I'll take a page out of your book. I think I will hear from her again, she seemed pretty happy with the sex, the over availability of myself downgraded my stock so now that I've taken the initiative to breakup with her (under duress mind you) I think she'll start to wonder. Even if she doesn't reach out I left on my terms which is my only real positive step I took in this relationship, not that it was a relationship.

well , the situ could be worse tbh.
Atm I’m tuning a short stacked blondie lady.
It’s been 2 x fancy dinner dates +1 fancy brunch .. I’m $250 sunk already, and proposed a movie & chill this weekend at her place,, which she has knocked back w “ haha. Nice try, let’s not rush into that, let’s do drinks date instead “
FML.

I’m hanging in there tho…she has an incredible rack and a stacked curvy stripper body.
I’ll just keep escalating anyways w my grubby hands wherever we go,

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

well , the situ could be worse tbh.
Atm I’m tuning a short stacked blondie lady.
It’s been 2 x fancy dinner dates +1 fancy brunch .. I’m $250 sunk already, and proposed a movie & chill this weekend at her place,, which she has knocked back w “ haha. Nice try, let’s not rush into that, let’s do drinks date instead “
FML.

I’m hanging in there tho…she has an incredible rack and a stacked curvy stripper body.
I’ll just keep escalating anyways w my grubby hands wherever we go,

I'll see your 'grubby hands' and raise you 'grabby grubby' hands!

It's a great idea! Next time I get some I'll just take a handful and yell "GRUBBY GRABBY!" Just to see the look on her face.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I'll see your 'grubby hands' and raise you 'grabby grubby' hands!

It's a great idea! Next time I get some I'll just take a handful and yell "GRUBBY GRABBY!" Just to see the look on her face.

I almost banged this chick in the back of her car end of date#2…but we got rudely interrupted .
now she’s stallin me /girl gaming me. Spewin.

I can’t afford this sh1t

 

[Foe]

well , the situ could be worse tbh.
Atm I’m tuning a short stacked blondie lady.
It’s been 2 x fancy dinner dates +1 fancy brunch .. I’m $250 sunk already, and proposed a movie & chill this weekend at her place,, which she has knocked back w “ haha. Nice try, let’s not rush into that, let’s do drinks date instead “
FML.

I’m hanging in there tho…she has an incredible rack and a stacked curvy stripper body.
I’ll just keep escalating anyways w my grubby hands wherever we go,

Been there bro, I did the sums last night and over the 2 months I knew this girl I spent the following.

Dinner 1: 100
Dinner 2: 150
Weekend Away: 600 (accomodation, wine tasting, fancy dinner, breakfast)
Gifts: 300

Actually, not that bad but still.

 

[Lauel]

If she was keen I'd probably have downgraded the entire thing and run my typical avoidant approach.

You know the funny thing here? Had do you done, this girl would be dying to get smashed for some reason.

Been there bro, I did the sums last night and over the 2 months I knew this girl I spent the following.

Dinner 1: 100
Dinner 2: 150
Weekend Away: 600 (accomodation, wine tasting, fancy dinner, breakfast)
Gifts: 300

Actually, not that bad but still.

That's actually pretty less considering the results.

 

[Foe]

You know the funny thing here? Had do you done, this girl would be dying to get smashed for some reason.

Tell me about it, why do you think Im so annoyed with myself. I had a good thing, could have kicked in a couple more for the rotation and played it super cool. Honestly its been a while since I did that, like about 4 years. Ive been back to back in monogamous situationships since then and when I look back on that time in my life it was super chill.

I should aim to get that going again. Its hard work but once you get a few going its probably the best outcome.

 

[Lauel]

Tell me about it

I am not some playboy or something, so please take it what it is: just an opinion.
From what I understood, she was never seeking personal connection at the first place. All she wanted was a body to get smashed from. Honestly I disgust at this idea, but again it's the truth.
Problem starts when you seek something she doesn't want to give to you: connection and substance. Honestly that ex-hubsand call means nothing, maybe it was just to show how much you are in her center light (for now).
From my understanding you messed at some spots:
1. Asking what we are: As others mentioned that's not your call, that's her and she must ask this.
2. Wanting to go to party despite not being wanted: That's the reason why it didn't happen and then it did. Again she didn't want a personal connection with you, which could be due to many reasons, but you still insisted.
3. Meeting the kids: Honestly she invited you over to meet them, I knew it here that something was wrong and this was going downhill. From a person who wanted to avoid something like this at the first place.

Also, I don't understand the "mentor" thing. Sounded to me like some female friend or some new guy, maybe I am overthinking.

 

[Foe]

Also, I don't understand the "mentor" thing. Sounded to me like some female friend or some new guy, maybe I am overthinking.

Agree on all points. I lost myself in this thing. The mentor thing was interesting though, it was 4 days after the party with little contact and she chooses to go to dinner with another guy underneath the "mentor" umbrella. Just so happens on her way home from said dinner she gave me that conversation which I ended the situationship on.

Co-incidence? not in my experience. He gave her a flourish I hadn't, hence outcome. She messaged last night Ill attach. My ex has been hassling me to come over and bang her, im doing that tonight. Shes a model so should take the sting out of this BS.

 

[Lauel]

it was 4 days after the party with little contact and she chooses to go to dinner with another guy underneath the "mentor" umbrella. Just so happens on her way home from said dinner she gave me that conversation which I ended the situationship on.

That explains a lot of things. Anyway, it is what it is.

She messaged last night Ill attach.

Seems like some mind games.
From the screenshot it looks like you are already enjoying life and back to your cool-mindedness. Wishing you well.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Agree on all points. I lost myself in this thing. The mentor thing was interesting though, it was 4 days after the party with little contact and she chooses to go to dinner with another guy underneath the "mentor" umbrella. Just so happens on her way home from said dinner she gave me that conversation which I ended the situationship on.

Co-incidence? not in my experience. He gave her a flourish I hadn't, hence outcome. She messaged last night Ill attach. My ex has been hassling me to come over and bang her, im doing that tonight. Shes a model so should take the sting out of this BS.

The message you received is basically what happened to me once. I was seeing a girl, and even though we weren’t official, I wanted to end things. I became distant and inattentive, so she ended it after a couple of phone calls and a text, right before she went on a trip.

Three days later, I sent her a long message for closure. I said: “If you ever need anything from me, today or in the future, you know where to find me. I wish you a safe drive and journey, that you enjoy your trip very much, and may God protect you”. After her week-long trip, she came back trying to fix things, and I was like, “WTF?” She took my message as an invitation to come back romantically whenever she wanted, but what I meant was just that I’d help if she needed a favor or advice… lol.

Either way, it’s easier to move on if you go no contact.

 

[Sega Genesis]

The message you received is basically what happened to me once. I was seeing a girl, and even though we weren’t official, I wanted to end things. I became distant and inattentive, so she ended it after a couple of phone calls and a text, right before she went on a trip.

Three days later, I sent her a long message for closure. I said: “If you ever need anything from me, today or in the future, you know where to find me. I wish you a safe drive and journey, that you enjoy your trip very much, and may God protect you”. After her week-long trip, she came back trying to fix things, and I was like, “WTF?” She took my message as an invitation to come back romantically whenever she wanted, but what I meant was just that I’d help if she needed a favor or advice… lol.

^^I find it interesting how some of you guys interpret things.

Based on the little you posted @Clockwerk50 , could it be possible that she didn't necessarily take your warm and thoughtful message as an "invitation to return"...

but rather it touched her emotionally versus how admittedly you had been distant and inattentive while IN the relationship which is why she ended it.

As such she saw a different side to you (warm and caring), it touched her heart and she wanted to try again..

Possible?

 

[Lauel]

^^I find it interesting how some of you guys interpret things.

Based on the little you posted @Clockwerk50 , could it be possible that she didn't necessarily take your warm and thoughtful message as an "invitation to return"...

but rather it touched her emotionally versus how admittedly you had been distant and inattentive while IN the relationship which is why she ended it.

As such she saw a different side to you (warm and caring), it touched her heart and she wanted to try again..

Possible?

Very very much possible. Good catch there.

 

[Clockwerk50]

^^I find it interesting how some of you guys interpret things.

Based on the little you posted @Clockwerk50 , could it be possible that she didn't necessarily take your warm and thoughtful message as an "invitation to return"...

but rather it touched her emotionally versus how admittedly you had been distant and inattentive while IN the relationship which is why she ended it.

As such she saw a different side to you (warm and caring), it touched her heart and she wanted to try again..

Possible?

She was adamant about meeting in person so we could be on the same page, and she was confused about the sentence I quoted here, so I had to clarify what I meant.

I never really thought about why she perceived the message that way, but you might be right. It actually says a lot about how men and women communicate and how messages can be interpreted differently. I appreciate that insight, thank you.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Agree on all points. I lost myself in this thing. The mentor thing was interesting though, it was 4 days after the party with little contact and she chooses to go to dinner with another guy underneath the "mentor" umbrella. Just so happens on her way home from said dinner she gave me that conversation which I ended the situationship on.

Co-incidence? not in my experience. He gave her a flourish I hadn't, hence outcome. She messaged last night Ill attach. My ex has been hassling me to come over and bang her, im doing that tonight. Shes a model so should take the sting out of this BS.

it’s probably too late to comment on this but..
Judging by her text replies here , my take on all it is that she is actually just busy working on her study/ career goals etc that have more priority, and has ‘compartmentalised’ you into FB / Lover as shes busy juggling the former more important stuff firstly.

Seems she was into you and by the frequency of sex you were her #1 squeeze. But doesn’t have time for a proper relationship/ putting other things first right now. And doesn’t want to mix you with her friends obvs it seems. She wants you to just satisfy her physical needs atm I spose , in the mix of everything.

Re the mentor thing- it could be just a mentor and that’s it..
Question you could have / maybe can ask her;
- are you seeing anyone else right now? Is this an open , casual thing we’re doing?

reads like you’ve been doing serious head miles and obs want a lot more . But it’s just not in her scope of works right now Yknow? You’re on different pages. Maybe best to move on then as you have as you already caught the feels for her.