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Dating Coworkers: Win A Stupid Prize!

EyeBRollin

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Up and coming NBA coach Ime Udoka caught in a consensual relationship with a staffer. Looks like he will be suspended for a year and docked pay with “no guarantees he will be retained.”

I think there may be something else going on here in the organization. Why he just wasn’t fired is beyond me. Apparently this was leaked by someone outside of the organization so there could be some coverups involved. The female staffer has not been named- maybe she is married?

Either way men- stop shvtting where you eat. Play a stupid game win a stupid prize. He will be lucky to coach again.
 

BriBri

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I was just watching the news conference, and they kept saying they wanted to "respect his privacy". I'm not sure what the official 'team rules' were around relationships, but if he broke them, then he should suffer the consequences. He know what he was doing. If the staffer was indeed married, well....that has a bigger impact.
 

Billtx49

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My opinion is that men who hit on their coworkers do Not have enough free time social contact interactions with women.
On the other hand, they’re with a certain woman constantly at work, they start thinking with the wrong head, and bingo, they’ve introduced their own emotions into what should be a rational work environment …
 

zekko

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Up and coming NBA coach Ime Udoka caught in a consensual relationship with a staffer. Looks like he will be suspended for a year and docked pay with “no guarantees he will be retained.”
This would have been no big deal back in the day, but our current society frowns on it heavily, as you can see. Even if the relationship is consensual as it is here, someone has to be punished! The problem as defined is that he is dating someone he has authority over.
 

Zimbabwe

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Why is it bad for them to date staff? It's been proven through studies that people meet those that they have a high propinquity with, you spend a lot of time together at work building rapport so it's only natural that you begin to date.

Why do they need to meddle in the affairs of two consenting adults?
 

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EyeBRollin

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Why do they need to meddle in the affairs of two consenting adults?
A lot of companies have this rule in their official policy. It is bad for business to have coworkers that are personally entangled. I generally agree with the logic behind this.

The part that grinds me in this is the PR is painting the female as a victim, yet confirming the relationship was consensual in nature. That means both violated the same rules.

Also, it’s standard to just fire him. There is a low probability he will retain his job after the suspension. The suspension effectively takes him off the job market and guarentees his career is wrecked. At least with a firing he can do the work to rehabilitate his reputation and maybe get a second chance down the line.
 

zekko

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Why do they need to meddle in the affairs of two consenting adults?
Old fashioned sort that I am, I have no problem with this. If two people meet and want to enjoy each other's company, who am I to tell them no? I believe this concept comes from feminism, the idea is that a person with authority is potentially victimizing the person under him. The recent allegations against Vince McMahon would be an example.
 

Hamurabimbi

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In my case dating co-workers just happened. It wasn’t a plan. You wind up spending time with the person at work and both begin to enjoy it. You begin to text/call after work. Then get lunch. Maybe a drink after work. Things just naturally seem to escalate. I still wouldn’t recommend dating a coworker, as the downside risk is high.
 

Hamurabimbi

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Yes, regardless of the fear of getting a company’s HR dept. involved, it’s absolute hell having to deal daily with a girl that dumped you. The Only solution for your sanity then is a New job…
My last coworker dating. Two managers talked to me about their concern that if things didn’t work out. I might feel compelled to switch to a different location.
 

Zimbabwe

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Old fashioned sort that I am, I have no problem with this. If two people meet and want to enjoy each other's company, who am I to tell them no? I believe this concept comes from feminism, the idea is that a person with authority is potentially victimizing the person under him. The recent allegations against Vince McMahon would be an example.
I just love how women are strong and independent but also victims at the same time. They literally just want all the rights men have with none of the responsibilities
 

zekko

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I'm hearing now that the couple had broken up, and the coach was making "inappropriate remarks" to her afterward. So apparently it wasn't so much the consensual relationship as it was his inappropriate behavior toward her after they broke up. Which is one reason some businesses have policies against dating co-workers.
 

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BadBoy89

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I believe this concept comes from feminism, the idea is that a person with authority is potentially victimizing the person under him.
Possibly.

I think the uproar comes from he is married to a 51 year old woman with a child. That’s what boils feminists‘ (and women) blood. If his wife was 22, and they just married for a few months and he did that, the uproar wouldn’t be there. But his wife is no longer fertile, menopausal and won’t be able to have kids anymore, it‘s a big thing.

Shakria’s ex, Gerald Pique, is the biggest Alpha Dog ever. He is 6’4, didn’t marry Shakira, has 2 kids with her, then went to date a 22 year old model.

Sosuave members, take note!!
 

Hamurabimbi

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Yes a lot. Not all. Certain industries are not anal about employees hooking up with each other
My organization is fine with employee dating. But. they are 'more fine with it' if it is lower level employees. When someone higher up the chain does it, management gets nervous.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Yes a lot. Not all. Certain industries are not anal about employees hooking up with each other
Until they get hit with sexual harassment claims and lose a bunch of money.

No industry was until it started costing them millions of dollars. Then it becomes a major issue.
 

SW15

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My opinion is that men who hit on their coworkers do Not have enough free time social contact interactions with women.
This is a valid observation. Over the years, I have not needed to hit on my co-workers because I've done the following things....

1. Approach unknown women at bars
2. Approach unknown women at grocery stores, malls, fitness classes, parks, on paths, or any other non-bar venue.
3. Participate in co-ed sports leagues and approach women in the sponsor bar after the game
4. Go to random city events and approach women

Doing some combination of these 4 things will prevent hitting on co-workers. I've also been fortunate that I have not had massive attraction to any female co-workers in at least the past decade. I'm not going to mess up my career over sex with a woman who is a merely cute 6-6.5. For that level of risk, I need an 8.5+.

Certain industries are not anal about employees hooking up with each other
This is true. People who work McJobs are often having sex. McDonald's and Wendy's store level workers are having sex with each other. This happens in store level retail at times and sit down restaurants.

A professional sports team isn't a purely white collar office environment, though there are some white collar jobs in pro sports.

Also, it’s standard to just fire him. There is a low probability he will retain his job after the suspension. The suspension effectively takes him off the job market and guarentees his career is wrecked. At least with a firing he can do the work to rehabilitate his reputation and maybe get a second chance down the line.
I think firing would have been better. The timing of this also stinks too as it is September and he wouldn't be able to be immediate hired as a head coach or assistant coach elsewhere until next summer. This seems to be both an issue of a consensual workplace romantic relationship AND unwanted comments that could be interpreted as a hostile work environment. The comments/hostile work environment are likely the bigger problem. Udoka messed up years ago getting with an older woman as his primary relationship.


 

Velasco

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This is true. People who work McJobs are often having sex. McDonald's and Wendy's store level workers are having sex with each other. This happens in store level retail at times and sit down restaurants
There ya go :)
 
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