TheMoonMonst3r
Don Juan
Im a white guy and Ive been with a ABC girl for 7 months now. I was just wondering if there are other guys out there in my situation or a support group or something to talk about all the retarded little things she does.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Dating an ABC
- Thread starter TheMoonMonst3r
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
true romance
Don Juan
what is ABC ?
bhsdt97
Don Juan
Wait,when you say ABC do you mean American Born Chinese?
If so..then I've never been in your position before.
However, I do have experience with what people commonly refer to as ABCDS(American Born Confused Desis).
If so..then I've never been in your position before.
However, I do have experience with what people commonly refer to as ABCDS(American Born Confused Desis).
TheMoonMonst3r
Don Juan
ABC = American Born Chinese
true romance
Don Juan
what retarded things? more details
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
TheMoonMonst3r
Don Juan
1) At dim sum (chinese tea-lunch) with her parents the other day, I took a little sticky-rice wrap (there were four...). Apparently I was supposed to share that with everyone else instead of taking my own. She said later in the car that that's the type of thing might make her parents think "Oh he's just a dumb white guy, he will never adapt to our culture". I was like WTF
2) She gave me a sob-story yesterday about how she's a minority and what it's like to feel hated...blah blah blah. I said sorry for all that stuff she's experienced. But I lived in China for 3.5 months with her, where I was the only white person within a 5 mile radius. She said that's different, cuz everyone likes me over there.
3) She seriously ****ing burnt popcorn in my house, and now my house smells funky.
2) She gave me a sob-story yesterday about how she's a minority and what it's like to feel hated...blah blah blah. I said sorry for all that stuff she's experienced. But I lived in China for 3.5 months with her, where I was the only white person within a 5 mile radius. She said that's different, cuz everyone likes me over there.
3) She seriously ****ing burnt popcorn in my house, and now my house smells funky.
true romance
Don Juan
I dont see these things as roadblock...cultural difference..does these issues bother you a lot?
what do you want with this girl ?
Bang?
if she hot and fun
Continue to seduce, flirt have fun...
ignore the rest
1) watch before you jump..so let her take inititative when you are at dinner/dim sum ..observe for next time
2) If she feel hated, give her love that she needs..
3) she burnt popcorn..make her clean you kitchen in bikini...
what do you want with this girl ?
Bang?
if she hot and fun
Continue to seduce, flirt have fun...
ignore the rest
1) watch before you jump..so let her take inititative when you are at dinner/dim sum ..observe for next time
2) If she feel hated, give her love that she needs..
3) she burnt popcorn..make her clean you kitchen in bikini...
Ken785
Master Don Juan
How old are you? You gotta try to adapt to Asian culture...after 7 months has she not taught you anything? In Asian culture you have to be super respectful. Its different then American. If it bothers you so much you gotta weigh things out whether you want to stay with this girl or not.
If the problems outweigh the good things in the relationship...then you need to leave the relationship. Things like this will occur if you date races outside of your cultural background so learn to adapt or just date white girls.
If the problems outweigh the good things in the relationship...then you need to leave the relationship. Things like this will occur if you date races outside of your cultural background so learn to adapt or just date white girls.
Being_the_Don
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2007
- Messages
- 752
- Reaction score
- 6
Maybe you want an FOB. :crackup: Actually a lot AFs are high maintenance and feel entitled so if you don't like it just dump them.TheMoonMonst3r said:Im a white guy and Ive been with a ABC girl for 7 months now. I was just wondering if there are other guys out there in my situation or a support group or something to talk about all the retarded little things she does.
ready123
Master Don Juan
if he's crying over popcorn, I don't think he'd be able to handle a fob
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
TheMoonMonst3r
Don Juan
She is the first Asian girl Ive been with, and I've been with ~10 other white American/European girls previously. Backpacking around Asia had such a profound experience on my life...especially China, and I would like to continue the culture I learned over there and adapt to be good boyfriend, whatever she sees that as. I am learning a lot of 國語 (Mandarin) and Chinese culture (I was there for fuggin 3.5 months..), but it really disappointing when she says stuff like "you will never fit in, you are just like the other dumb 外國人 (white ppl)".
Any ABCs or white guys who have dated ABCs to clue me in? Or does it not even matter?
Any ABCs or white guys who have dated ABCs to clue me in? Or does it not even matter?
A friend of mine is Asian. Her boyfriend did a very wise thing: he approached the parents. Introduced himself, and then told them that he knew very little of their culture, especially when it came to daily habits. So he told them, that if he ever did anything wrong, or they felt irritated by his behaviour, they should simply ask him about it.
They did and they never had much problems. Most of the time, if he does something they find weird, they'll laugh about it and that's it. They accept him, because he showed respect.
My advice: talk to the parents. And research the region her parents are from.
They did and they never had much problems. Most of the time, if he does something they find weird, they'll laugh about it and that's it. They accept him, because he showed respect.
My advice: talk to the parents. And research the region her parents are from.