Dating a woman who has had groupsex in the past?

Danger

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Drum&Bass said:
feminist, NO, seeing everyone else as feminine, YES.



Let me guess...your standards are a 26 year old virgin who will be sugar, spice and everything nice. She will be a perfect angel that will do no wrong and give you the perfect life with the perfect family.

Dude if you really feel like this you can sit on a mountain side somewhere all alone playing with yourself because women are people and like MOST people women enjoy sex and they will have sex with as many men as they want whether you like it or not.

Why would it put it you off ??

Im sure most guys feel like this...which means, you are NOT STRONG enough to handle the truth = WEAK
What does it matter if your enjoying your time with her NOW and she is YOUR HOR and no one elses ??

Why not ??

....but she isn't a slut, she is faithful to you and you are enjoying your time with her. She, like anyone else had the opportunity to enjoy a sexual experience in the past and did the human thing...she acted on it.

really ?!?!?! your concerned about a girl making you feel special ? I think your panties just cut off circulation to the 2 shriveled up raisins between your legs called BALLS. If you had the chance to hook up with 100 women in your past would you take it ??

not sure what your trying to say, but I'll assume you mean the men of her past intentionally made the choice not to marry her because they knew of her past sexual life ?? if thats the case, maybe...just maybe...they were enjoying sex without the need to marry each other (NSA).

...but she isn't a hor, she is faithful to you. What happens when you marry a woman thats only had sex with 2 guys in her life only to find out that you hate each other and divorce. She has no problem taking you to the cleaners (financially and emotionally) because she that is the kind of person she is. She meets another guy who think she is awesome because she NOW has had sex with 3 guys in her life but she has an agenda for this new man in her life to take his money.

A persons sexual history does not detract from their character, level of honesty or their ability to genuinely love and care about another human being

Everyone talks a big game about about judging women who enjoy sex...but no one knows anything about anyone for sure. The most sexually innocent of women can be the worst snake in hiding.
I dont understand this logic...this leads me to believe that most of you men are boring, unable to hold the interest of women and insecure. Im starting to think that you guys are probably only good for a paycheck and some bad jokes. Its good to be cautious of women but NOT because of their sexual history. Be wary of inconsiderate women who will stab you in the back, destroy your dreams and hurt you emotionally. I dont see how her sexual history comes into play when it comes to the important things that matter.


@ Franky
SOOOOO basically your in a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with a woman who you WISH had "SLUT" tendancies...yet at the beginning of your post you say


weak sauce !!!

Keep living the delusional life style kids. Keep thinking that a girl who YOU THINK hasn't had a lot of sex in her past is some is some kind of good, pure, moral person who is worthy of marriage. (people are still getting married these days ???...dang you chumps are never gonna learn)

p.s. I just went back and read this whole thread and Im basically repeating what a few other guys have said. Some guys are FOOLS who think blindly following their principles is an ABSOLUTE way to ensure what is best for them and some of the smarter guys realize that there will be time you have to see things from a different perspective.

Human beings adapt to what best suits their lives. Having principles MAY sometimes work in your favor but there are other times that principles are useless and a bit of FREE THINKING is necessary to give you the best chances at happiness.

Same thing goes for business !! the company that can't adapt is the company that will FAIL !!

Drum,

Why the hate man? I am guessing (and not saying this in a shaming manner, because we all want something different) that you are with a "reformed slut"?

To be honest, I expected you to come back with the "extreme" other side saying that I wanted a 26 year old virgin, and you did not fail to deliver.

What you are really saying in your post is that ALL women have slept with 50 men and have had three-somes and if men are not ok with that then we are weak and insecure. You are far more extreme than I am, and your black and white view only adds credibility to that argument.

What you call weak, I call choosy. I don't have any problem sleeping with the sluts. But leave them at the door because that is all they are. If I was insecure about it then I would never fvck them to begin with. I honestly believe, based on your emotional response, that you are now having to rationalize the woman you are with in the face of this thread, which is currently attacking her virtue as a "good woman for marriage". If you are happy with her than you should not care at all what the rest of us think or the contents of this thread. That weakness makes you the insecure one.

A good point made is that none of us will ever know for sure if our woman was a closet wh0re. But you can bet they were if they advertise that fact to you. You may not mind marrying a woman who has ridden 1000 c0cks and told you about them, but that is where you and I differ. I would never knowingly marry a wh0re, which is a lot different than knowing about it beforehand and choosing to marry them anyways.
 
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AlmostThere

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Just an update on the situation:

I ended up breaking things off with this girl.

One reason was of course the subject of this thread. I just could not take her seriously after she told me about the group sex stuff. It played on my mind a lot. I never told her that this was one of the reasons I broke things off though.


The other reason was that she gave me weird vibes from day one. She was always so fricking happy. Almost to the point of being fake. Well, just a few days before I split up with her, she told me that she was bipolar and had tried to take her own life a few times in the past.

Any feelings I had for her just disappeared at that point. There was just too much baggage to deal with. I also started to get the feeling that she wasn't 100% trustworthy.

Oh well, back to the drawing board. I'm not going to get tied down to a girl with that much baggage.
 

AlmostThere

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Also, to address the ongoing conversation in this thread:

There seems to be two differing viewpoints.

A) All women have skeletons in their closet and you should embrace women who are sexually promiscuous.

B) Sexually promiscuous women are sluts and you should hold out for a more "pure" woman

I know that most women have done some nasty stuff in their time. And I could care less what she did with a guy one-on-one. But something about a girl getting gangbanged just turns me off. I mean it turns me on to watch it in porn, but to think that the woman you're with had 3 ****s at the same time is a bit of a turn off.

I believe the majority of women have NOT had this type of groupsex. And yes, of course they could lie to you about it. It's hard to tell what the truth is.

Most of my relationships have been with women who have had a handful of male partners in their lives and haven't engaged in this type of groupsex behavior. That is the kind of woman I prefer. Something about dating the town bike just doesn't do it for me.

I had my fun with her while it lasted, but the next woman I date is going to be back to my old type.
 

jophil28

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Danger said:
A good point made is that none of us will ever know for sure if our woman was a closet wh0re. .
Indeed, we may not, BUT if she openly admits to wh0ring around then we have a choice to make.

In my experience ,women rarely 'reform' themselves inspite of what D&B likes to believe. The reasons are to be found in their almost universal need to think of themselves as helpless victims..( "He made me do it ")
Victimhood disowns and rejects personal accountability, so no change or growth takes place and instead is often replaced with compulsive repetition of the behavior in question which frequently becomes deeply entrenched over time.

Consider this -would you go into a business partnership with a self-promoted
"reformed" alcoholic, or would you favor someone who has satisfied you that they never had a compulsive need to abuse alcohol.
 

AlmostThere

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jophil28 said:
The reasons are to be found in their almost universal need to think of themselves as helpless victims..( "He made me do it ")
Victimhood disowns and rejects personal accountability, so no change or growth takes place and instead is often replaced with compulsive repetition of the behavior in question which frequently becomes deeply entrenched over time.

Oh yeah and this reminds me of another reason I broke things off with her. She started to seem very manipulative. She was like some kind of expert on making people feel sorry for her. Being somewhat aware of these kinds of female-tricks I say through some of it and I started to see a very ugly person underneath her nice smile.

She was always playing up the victim card.
 
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jophil28

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AlmostThere said:
Oh yeah and this reminds me of another reason I broke things off with her. She started to seem very manipulative. She was like some kind of expert on making people feel sorry for her. Being somewhat aware of these kinds of female-tricks I say through some of it and I started to see a very ugly person underneath her nice smile.

She was always playing up the victim card.
You might like to research the lit. on " BPD Waif ".

These women are uber feminine, delicate and demure in their presentation - real "china doll " types. But underneath they are manipulative deceptive monsters.
 

Drum&Bass

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Drum,

Why the hate man?
No hate...Im perceiving things differently than most of you. Im pretty lax when it comes to sex and Im just getting a sense that some of you guys are quick to negatively judge a woman when it comes to sex. Everyones entitled to their opinion but I made a post awhile ago about guys who talk sh1t and when I hear guys passing judgement it gets under my skin. In the real world i wouldn't care how any man chose to live his life and make his decisions but in the online DJ forum world I can discuss it...and yea sometimes things can get heated (a sign of a good thread) and I know Im not going to change anyones minds ! but i like flexing some logic and opinion to make a point and I like reading other peoples counter logic, its all educational entertainment to me.

I am guessing (and not saying this in a shaming manner, because we all want something different) that you are with a "reformed slut"?
I've had 4 girlfriends in my life, 2 of which from europe had group sex and 2 from America who only had sex with guys they were in relationships with. All of them are great people that have helped me to grow as a person and I feel like i love all of them. It all depends where im at and what im surrounded by. GA is somewhat conservative so a majority of the women I meet are "good girls." When I lived in NJ there was a variety of good and bad girls to choose from and I honestly enjoyed my time alot more with the attractive "bad girl" or The HOT little slvt. I dont plan on marrying so my brain can't even fathom what you marriage minded guys are thinking when it comes to finding the right woman even though every single girl i've been in a relationship with would be what everyone considers marriage material. however thats a road i wont be traveling.

also..

I pick a girl based on her looks period. That is my only criteria for picking women. If she happens to have a cool personality we'll end up hanging out for awhile maybe even date. I don't have the same issues other guys have on the forum when it comes to women. Im use to having my way with girls and having them adore me. Im also smart enough to appreciate the cerebral and emotional qualities about them once i get to know them beyond the initial attraction phase.
In my experience ,women rarely 'reform' themselves inspite of what D&B likes to believe. The reasons are to be found in their almost universal need to think of themselves as helpless victims..( "He made me do it ")
This kind of victim stuff doesn't happen with me because I call women out on it the moment it happens. Like I said I've seen this stuff happen with my friends and other people ALL the time. I observe how they behave around their women and often times I'll think to myself, this guy is NOT behaving in a way that would make this girl proud to have him OR..this guy isn't creating an attractive masculine vibe that would make women want him. These are all really awesome guys that are cool and upkeep their image around other guys but when they are around their women they completely change. I can't give specific examples because we'd all have to be around each other for me to point out some of their social shortcomings.
 

Danger

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Drum&Bass said:
No hate...Im perceiving things differently than most of you. Im pretty lax when it comes to sex and Im just getting a sense that some of you guys are quick to negatively judge a woman when it comes to sex. Everyones entitled to their opinion but I made a post awhile ago about guys who talk sh1t and when I hear guys passing judgement it gets under my skin. In the real world i wouldn't care how any man chose to live his life and make his decisions but in the online DJ forum world I can discuss it...and yea sometimes things can get heated (a sign of a good thread) and I know Im not going to change anyones minds ! but i like flexing some logic and opinion to make a point and I like reading other peoples counter logic, its all educational entertainment to me.



I've had 4 girlfriends in my life, 2 of which from europe had group sex and 2 from America who only had sex with guys they were in relationships with. All of them are great people that have helped me to grow as a person and I feel like i love all of them. It all depends where im at and what im surrounded by. GA is somewhat conservative so a majority of the women I meet are "good girls." When I lived in NJ there was a variety of good and bad girls to choose from and I honestly enjoyed my time alot more with the attractive "bad girl" or The HOT little slvt. I dont plan on marrying so my brain can't even fathom what you marriage minded guys are thinking when it comes to finding the right woman even though every single girl i've been in a relationship with would be what everyone considers marriage material. however thats a road i wont be traveling.

also..

I pick a girl based on her looks period. That is my only criteria for picking women. If she happens to have a cool personality we'll end up hanging out for awhile maybe even date. I don't have the same issues other guys have on the forum when it comes to women. Im use to having my way with girls and having them adore me. Im also smart enough to appreciate the cerebral and emotional qualities about them once i get to know them beyond the initial attraction phase.
This kind of victim stuff doesn't happen with me because I call women out on it the moment it happens. Like I said I've seen this stuff happen with my friends and other people ALL the time. I observe how they behave around their women and often times I'll think to myself, this guy is NOT behaving in a way that would make this girl proud to have him OR..this guy isn't creating an attractive masculine vibe that would make women want him. These are all really awesome guys that are cool and upkeep their image around other guys but when they are around their women they completely change. I can't give specific examples because we'd all have to be around each other for me to point out some of their social shortcomings.

Ok, I think we agree much more than we differ.

I never said I hated women that sleep around a lot or have had gang-bangs. I do not have any qualms about calling them wh0res though. I will not buy into the feminist euphimism techniques. They are what they are and I continue to sleep with a couple that I have made my fbs, but ultimately I would like to have children and I see this type of a woman as dangerous in that category.

My judgement is based on the logic of pair-bonding, judgement and of self-respect. I know men who have married wh0res and they are the joke of the social circles among us. These men have no idea they married the town ride and their woman wants to keep it that way.

Women innately know their market value plummets with the addition of each and every man on their belt, this is why they work so hard to keep it a secret. I too consider wh0res to be low value (unless I want just sex) and will never put myself in a position to be in a relationship with them.
 
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squirrels

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AlmostThere said:
Also, to address the ongoing conversation in this thread:

There seems to be two differing viewpoints.

A) All women have skeletons in their closet and you should embrace women who are sexually promiscuous.

B) Sexually promiscuous women are sluts and you should hold out for a more "pure" woman

I know that most women have done some nasty stuff in their time. And I could care less what she did with a guy one-on-one. But something about a girl getting gangbanged just turns me off. I mean it turns me on to watch it in porn, but to think that the woman you're with had 3 ****s at the same time is a bit of a turn off.

I believe the majority of women have NOT had this type of groupsex. And yes, of course they could lie to you about it. It's hard to tell what the truth is.

Most of my relationships have been with women who have had a handful of male partners in their lives and haven't engaged in this type of groupsex behavior. That is the kind of woman I prefer. Something about dating the town bike just doesn't do it for me.

I had my fun with her while it lasted, but the next woman I date is going to be back to my old type.
The POINT is that you have to evaluate the woman's personality and determine WHY she does those kinds of things.

It IS true that many times sexual adventurousness comes with some form of neurosis. But a man who keeps his eyes open can tell the difference between a girl who does something "dirty" because she likes it and a girl who does something "dirty" because she's crazy. In this case, we have the latter.

I would not say that a single girl being sexually adventurous is necessarily a "red flag" in and of itself. But "groupsex" can be a sign of attention-wh0ring.

If that's the case, it will present in other ways as well. And you should be able to identify it WAY before you get into a "committed relationship" with this girl. You HAD to have gotten SOME vibe that something was not quite right long before you heard about the whole "groupsex" thing.

This is the real tragedy of dating in modern society...men are shamed by society into putting up with so much crap from a woman that they REFUSE to acknowledge all of the downside of a "bad relationship" until it affects the sexual element. If this girl had never talked about "groupsex", she could have told this guy she was bipolar and he STILL would've been like, "She's a nice girl...we can work it out...it's not so bad". :rolleyes: Sure, it's always "not so bad" until another d!ck is involved.

Why do we not demand more of a woman than just commitment to a single d!ck-n-balls?
 
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Drum&Bass said:
@ Franky
SOOOOO basically your in a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with a woman who you WISH had "SLUT" tendancies...yet at the beginning of your post you say


weak sauce !!!

Keep living the delusional life style kids.
Your right that particular post wasn't obviously well written. When I wrote "if your not looking for an LTR this woman would be gold" I was responding to the previous posters point and agreeing with it.

It should have been written - if you are either in a LTR or not this woman would be gold.

I stand corrected.

My only problem is the context of my post (not weakness) but I wasn't trying to write a thesis just a quick reply.

The problem with you is anyone who has to go condescending with your last "kids" line, which is shot at more than one poster, has some sense of weakness.
 
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S.S.N. 318

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Already!!!

squirrels said:
To me, the real strong couple is the one that can go out to a swinger-party, screw around all night, and STILL wants to come home to each other at the end of the night.
:up: That was a very good point right there, Squirrels! No Doubt
 

NocheOscura

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Bottomline:
Do not ever consider yourself a DJ (=man of high status) if you`re thinking of getting seriously involved with a woman with a slutty reputation/past.
I´m glad to see a lot of guys in here have the selfrespect and lack of desperation to call these woman out for what they are: Women of 2nd class behaviour.
As a former bartender I know a lot of women who has slept with 50+ men and done everything sexual under the sun, and believe me they don`t change when they get into a LTR. Even with their "best intentions" I see them fall time and time again into cheating and attentionwhoring.
That disgusting feeling in your gut you get when a woman has revealed the truth about herself ( such as she being nailed by 5 construction workers!) is actually your true nature warning you something isn´t right.
Follow your instincts in stead of trying to overcome them or swallow them, only a pvssyfied male ignores his real nature and doesn`t respect his own boundaries.
Fvuk the sluts and then run Forrest, ruuuuuuuuun.
 

Blue Phoenix

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jophil28 said:
You might like to research the lit. on " BPD Waif ".

These women are uber feminine, delicate and demure in their presentation - real "china doll " types. But underneath they are manipulative deceptive monsters.
AlmostThere said:
Oh yeah and this reminds me of another reason I broke things off with her. She started to seem very manipulative. She was like some kind of expert on making people feel sorry for her. Being somewhat aware of these kinds of female-tricks I say through some of it and I started to see a very ugly person underneath her nice smile.

She was always playing up the victim card.
Yeah, It can be BPD (she really suffers, and most of the times it´s her own damn fault) or she feigns victimhood to manipulate you, this is the sociopath. Some Bpds have sociopathic traits.

"The best clue is of all things, the pity play. The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is perversely, an appeal to our sympathy. I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him! When deciding whom to trust, bear in mind that the combination of consistently bad behavior or egregiously indadequate behavior with frequent plays for your pity is as close to a warning mark on a sociopaths´s forehead as you will ever be given!"
*The Sociopath Next Door - Martha Stout
 

Legendary_Unicorn

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Ok I cant' read anymore... this is really irritating.

How you feel about your woman is entirely up to you. You can choose to let the past hinder how you feel about her now (which would be dumb, she could've lied like most women will do... but she respected you enough to be honest)

Would you rather have some girl who has no sexual experience and ends up leaving you anyway b/c of curiosity?

And wtf how does having group sex some how make you devalue sex... It's ok for men to sleep around but not for women. .. but oh no she's a prude if she doesn't give it up to you but you wouldn't want her if she does... I don't like playing games w/ women but really I do.

Grow up and get over your ego or you'll ruin your relationship... the end!
 

maqnetik

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NocheOscura said:
Bottomline:
Do not ever consider yourself a DJ (=man of high status) if you`re thinking of getting seriously involved with a woman with a slutty reputation/past.
I´m glad to see a lot of guys in here have the selfrespect and lack of desperation to call these woman out for what they are: Women of 2nd class behaviour.
As a former bartender I know a lot of women who has slept with 50+ men and done everything sexual under the sun, and believe me they don`t change when they get into a LTR. Even with their "best intentions" I see them fall time and time again into cheating and attentionwhoring.
That disgusting feeling in your gut you get when a woman has revealed the truth about herself ( such as she being nailed by 5 construction workers!) is actually your true nature warning you something isn´t right.
Follow your instincts in stead of trying to overcome them or swallow them, only a pvssyfied male ignores his real nature and doesn`t respect his own boundaries.
Fvuk the sluts and then run Forrest, ruuuuuuuuun.
amen

stop making ecuses for women who are NASTY and DECIETFUL for no apparent reason.

:box:
 
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st_99

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Banged by 3 dudes at the same time? Sorry, way to risky for LTR.

Its an interesting conversation but all things being equal, If I had
the choice between girl that had 4 some and the one that didn't, I'm going
with the ladder thank you.
 

Noodles

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Danger said:
A good point made is that none of us will ever know for sure if our woman was a closet wh0re.
This, for me, is the key point here. Why did she tell you this? Either she's got no social skills what so ever, she thinks this is something impressive, or she's trying to get a rise out of you.

Either way I would probably close the door - as you apparently did.

If you'd found out yourself through other methods...that could be different. In that case it probably depends how bad you've been in your youth, and what you can relate to.
 
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