Dating a woman who has had groupsex in the past?

[scorpio1138]

I don't see how group sex is an indicator of a woman not having her life together. All women will do this under the right circumstances. And by right circumstances, I mean circumstances that allow her to be comfortable with it. They all have the desire for it and plenty have told me that if comfort was a given, they would be all for it.

So now I guess you have to figure if you want to be with a girl who managed to get in the right situation and then get comfortable enough to do it

Exactly what I was going to say...

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I have no doubt that there are plenty of innocuous, unassuming Soccer Moms with 2 kids and married for 8 years at 38 who lived entirely different lives in their college/party years. Looking at her coming out of the mini van or at bible study you'd never guess she used to do three-ways with her dorm mate and her BF back in college. Yet there she is getting the kids off to school.

Exactly.


Also someone made the point of a that a woman's sexual taste is indicative of her status in life. Absolute bullsh!t. I've been to swinger's parties in the hills of Chatsworth where regular well to do folks WITH THEIR SH!T TOGETHER engage in orgies. Their lot in life had nothing to do with their sexuality....from what I've experienced, anyways.

Point is, is to watch how she treats you. If she gives it up to you and is really into you and no one else there should be no problem. If she shows you acts of love and gratefulness then there should be no problem. Your ego is getting the best of you and more likely than not she's probably done a lot more nasty sh!t that would make you cry. You like her enough so give her a chance. You could always break up with her if you're really not happy, but don't let your mind become your enemy here.

Like Jophil said it has to be a decision you can live with if you want to break up with her. No one here really knows the interaction you two are going through. All I can say is the more you let it bother you the more likely YOU are going to ruin your relationship.

 

[Warrior74]

Exactly.


Also someone made the point of a that a woman's sexual taste is indicative of her status in life. Absolute bullsh!t. I've been to swinger's parties in the hills of Chatsworth where regular well to do folks WITH THEIR SH!T TOGETHER engage in orgies. Their lot in life had nothing to do with their sexuality....from what I've experienced, anyways.

Point is, is to watch how she treats you. If she gives it up to you and is really into you and no one else there should be no problem. If she shows you acts of love and gratefulness then there should be no problem. Your ego is getting the best of you and more likely than not she's probably done a lot more nasty sh!t that would make you cry. You like her enough so give her a chance. You could always break up with her if you're really not happy, but don't let your mind become your enemy here.

Like Jophil said it has to be a decision you can live with if you want to break up with her. No one here really knows the interaction you two are going through. All I can say is the more you let it bother you the more likely YOU are going to ruin your relationship.

This is why you don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. And like I said. The average guy can't deal with that sort of knowledge. As I don't plan on marrying or even being in a serious LTR then I could careless as long as she's disease free.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Sacra,

I respect your opinion greatly. With all due respect.....Men are Men, Women are Women. I do not expect women to have done the same things that I have. Nor should she expect me to have done what she has.

If a man is ok with his (assuming) future wife having ridden the c0ck carousel several times before settling with her man at the "just in time" age of 30+, then his actions say that he is ok with a woman having her cake and eating it too. I propose that no man of value will be ok with this.

A man of value will do what is in his best interest and to me that is finding a woman who's first interest is to find a good man and building a family with him. Not settling for a woman who decided to party it up through-out her 20's knowing all the while that she can find some guy when she knows her value is going to decline at a much faster rate.

While I realize that not all situations are like this, I would bet that the vast majority of women who have been in gang-bangs fit this category.

The argument that says we should be ok with women doing these things and that we should be a "confident, secure man that can handle this behavior " feed the feminist propaganda meant to serve the female mating imperative, regardless of whether they have had children through the process or not. Do not do their propaganda shaming work for them.

Men are men. Women are women. Men are sexual creatures. Women are sexual creatures. It takes two. We're all sexual deviants. We should be okay with someone living and let living. It's all about personal taste too. If she's not sneaking around his back fu<king the football team and if she abides by his boundaries then there should be absolutely no problem. The problem arises when YOU think you're not secure enough to handle a woman who's had a creative sexual past. It's not a crime to sleep with whoever you want with whenever you want to.

Based on who you sleep with, you could be a character of high moral standards (ie having a threesome with people you trust and actually like and respect) or a person of low character (having sex with people who don't respect you, abusing drugs, unprotected sex with them. Cheating on someone, etc) You equate a woman sleeping with someone without a commitment as bad. It really isn't. It happens.

And because of these social stigmas (she's of low character based on how many men she's been with) a woman will always be seen as a slut for being sexual. This is why someone will just keep sh!t from you or just be defiant and f*ck for the sake of rebellion.

As I said before women will have sex before you and after you. If you really don't care but are worried about what other people will think - don't. Who gives a sh!t? If she respects you and puts forth an effort to make you happy you should be satisfied with that. Both of you could be fu<king other people at this moment. Don't forget that.

 

[Jitterbug]

Women can do whatever the hell they want, but I don't have to like & accept their past. It's my personal taste that a woman that I commit to for a LTR / marriage has not been in a gang bang.

Leave the shaming for the feminists. Men, and especially men of sites like this, should not shame each other.

 

[jophil28]

My personal experience, as well as from those I have seen.....are that the more promiscuous women bail out of marriage first. Those that have not ridden around on the c0ck carousel several times are more into their man than the others.

And that is exactly my observation too .

I have been dating women for many long years, and those women who admitted (eventually) to me to previous affairs, cheating or slvtting it up have turned out to be appallingly inept at maintaining LTR's, and they tended to continue with the same sexual behaviors even if they were later married or in an LTR.
They just become highly skilled at manipulating men through lies, deception and secrecy .
They live lives of shadowy cheap thrills covered over with well crafted explanations and credible alibi's should they be caught out.

IF you are in a relationship with one of these women you will never know that she is cheating -not unless she loses so much respect for you that she rubs it in your face for extra entertainment value.

Listen closely to her history - it is your future.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I completely agree with Danger. I believe that most men if they were really honest with their nature would want a young virgin to consider her as most quality. Society makes that almost unobtainable and you have to compromise. But how much are you going to compromise? A lot of guys who say they don't care if their girl has done gangbangs and whatever else are making their necessity a virtue.

 

[Warrior74]

And that is exactly my observation too .

I have been dating women for many long years, and those women who admitted (eventually) to me to previous affairs, cheating or slvtting it up a have turned out to be appallingly inept at maintaining LTR's and they tended to continue with the same sexual behaviors even if they were later married or in an LTR.
They just become highly skilled at manipulating men through lies, deception and secrecy .
They live lives of shadowy cheap thrills covered over with well crafted explanations and credible alibi's should they be caught out.

IF you are in a relationship with one of these women you will never know that she is cheating -not unless she loses so much respect for you that she rubs it in your face for extra entertainment value.

Listen closely to her history - it is your future.

As greatbooksformen would say. She's be butthexed and desouled by the tucker maxx golden sax ben bernake asskockers lollzlzlalloollzlzoz.

Roissy joke for you roissy readers out there.

 

[Alle_Gory]

So I guess the consensus is, take her for a rough test drive, but don't bother with a down payment?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Of course i agree it's questionable if the gangbang was recent. It's also important to consider if she was in a relationshi...


....ah i already made my point. What am I doing?

*goes to get some ice cream*

 

[Alle_Gory]

Of course i agree it's questionable if the gangbang was recent.

But if it wasn't, then what has she been doing in the meantime?

 

[jophil28]

Let's suppose that you have been dating a hot woman for many months and you are thinking that she is serious LTR material. She wants to make it official and move in together.

One night you are having some drinks, and you and she play," Tell me your deepest secret ."
So she reveals that she was in business with her previous b/f straight out of college and she "borrowed" some money from their joint account - some serious money which she never paid back or told him about.

Now you are thinking - " IF I live with this woman ,we are going to share some of our resources. Am I comfortable with a joint account to pay expenses ? Do I offer her occasional use of my CC? Can I lend her money and be confident that she will repay? "

Gentlemen, what do you do?
She has assured you that her "borrowing "episode was several years ago when she was ," a young, silly party chick."

 

[squirrels]

Is she clean? That'd be the most important thing...no STDs, it's all good.

If this is truly a "red flag" and not just a fun indiscretion, you should have noticed long ago other things about her personality that would have steered you away.

The gangbang itself is not a problem...but it surprises me how many men refuse to acknowledge all of the OTHER red flags a girl waves and only respond once one of them has a sexual overtone.

I don't know the situation, so I don't know if you should drop this girl. But you're the one with her...if you're any kind of "Don Juan" at all, you should know what you've got there.

If I split my women up into Less Slutty, Average Slutty and Supersize Me Slutty categories......I am as selective as I can be and go for the Less to Average slutty girls.

Get them in the right situation, and those girls would "surprise you" too. Sexuality is something that everyone has hard-wired into them...the difference from person to person is the level of restraint. And that can be overcome in the right situation.

 

[vatoloco]

Do you ignore it and say the past is the past? Or do you break up with her?

It depends. I personally would drop her. If it doesn't bother you, go for it and stay with her. However, if it bothers you enough to make a thread asking for opinions, it's probably gonna stay in the back of your mind if you stay with this girl.

And it will drive you nuts.

 

[zekko]

The key point I make is, that the right situation is a DIFFERENT situation for all women. The planets align much more frequently (3 man 1 woman gang bang) for some women than they do for others.

That's no lie. Understatement of the year.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Every man wants a slut, he just wants her to be HIS slut.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Yes the lines of sexuality are blurred and relative and subjective. People can entertain the sorts of personal experiences they want for themselves.

But different experiences can have positive or negative effects on a person and their perception of life.

Let's just say the mother of my future children, or the woman I would trust to share time in my life with, will not be, as danger has stated, a regular on the c0ck carousel. (brilliant description)

There are women who are somewhat sexually conservative. They may still be sexually adventurous. But there is something to be said about a "respectable woman" who holds a higher value for herself. In some ways, in my mind, acting like a bunch of Bonobo monkeys having a massive fuk session with c0cks and vag!nas and juices going everywhere is downright negative imagery. We are animals. Animals kill others too for food. We have thought. We have consciousness. There are ethical perceptions we've created that do show us our animalistic natures are not always those of the most virtue (ie, jungle mentality, killing the man next to me for his starbucks coffee). Now whether this is all indoctrination, or a higher understanding of "universal ethics", related to higher intelligence, is a debate I cannot directly comment on. But I would say there are things in the animal world, that exist within our nature, that we should work to keep in check, because they can be destructive and degrading to the possibilities that lie within us and the true potential of humanity.

I'd prefer to be with a humble woman, who has invested in relationships in the past, has not given herself freely to any erect penis, and who has high levels of standards and self-respect.

 

[Bible_Belt]

whether this is all indoctrination...is a debate

And an interesting one. Every ancient religion deified female virginity. Most societies were largely agricultural and prayed to their gods for fertile crops, and also for fertile women to produce offspring. Fertility gods were often also associated with female virginity.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fertility_deities

Ancient Rome had its vestal virgins, who were a part a many religious ceremonies. They were loved and respected by everyone...until they got caught fvcking, in which case they would be flogged and then buried alive.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vestal_Virgin

Female deification was so central to peoples' religious ideas that the early Christian church had to make the mother of Jesus into a Goddess in order to attract new followers into the religion.

Therefore, we look down upon women who get gangbanged.

 

[mrRuckus]

Most of people changing isn't them changing but the circumstances around them changing. Like I don't fvck 17 year olds anymore. But that's only because I'm not around 17, it's not that easy, it's generally frowned upon anyway, and I'm rarely exposed to them.

It has nothing to do with me not wanting to fvck 17 year olds anymore, so I haven't actually changed. The circumstances have. Like when women complain about men liking younger girls. They sure didn't mind when they were the younger girl.

 

[zekko]

In some ways, in my mind, acting like a bunch of Bonobo monkeys having a massive fuk session with c0cks and vag!nas and juices going everywhere is downright negative imagery.

I have to agree.

But I would say there are things in the animal world, that exist within our nature, that we should work to keep in check, because they can be destructive and degrading to the possibilities that lie within us and the true potential of humanity.

Again, I agree. A lot of people will try to justify their behavior by saying it is natural, or instinctive. We can do better.