dating a girl you dont really find hot

[pyros]

So I've been seing this girl for almost three months now.

The thing is that eventhough she's ok looking, maybe a 6 - 6.5, I dont find her really attractive, she's just ok. Initially I started to hang out with her because she was perfect for a few bangs, but now that I've gotten to know her I really like her personality.

This is getting a little bit more serious because we see each other twice a week, and she texts me everyday, treats me pretty well, sex is very good, etc, but as I said...she's not really my type physically.
My two previous girlfriends were attractive, and I've dated other girls who were hotter...but it ended after several dates because either I disliked their personalities/lifestyles or they just stopped seing me.

Negatives:
1 She's just ok physically.
2 She could dress better, sexier, etc.
3 She has too much contact with her ex.
4 She is/has been too much
of a slvt.
5 She has poor health.

Positives:
1 I really like to spend time with her.
2 Sex is very good.
3 She's smart and styding to become a nurse.
4 Has a normal family.
5 Lives close to me.
6 Is 10 years younger than me but pretty mature.
7 She seems super into me.

I am sensing that she would like to have something more serious with me...so I think she's gonna ask for it soon.
I'd like to keep seing her, having sex, etc, but I dont want to be her bf... no no.

Thoughts?

 

[Who Dares Win]

Given that she provides some value and nowadays its not that easy, I would suggest to try to fix what you dont like in her.

You talk about poor health, what you do mean she needs dental hygiene? face cleaning or she is sick?

Regarding her look which is 6-6.5, take her to the gym and she can easily get a point.

If you have a 7-7.5, that treats you good, lives close to you, comes from a good family and so on I would be satisfied in your place, also 10 yrs younger.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You set the terms my friend. Here are some ideas. The positives all look good, so how much of the negatives can be changed? (More than you think)

I'd like to keep seing her, having sex, etc, but I dont want to be her bf... no no.

Thoughts?

Here's the deal bud, at some point all women that like you are going to want a relationship. You're either going to have to commit to her or just let her go and see if she comes back for just booty calls. If you want to keep seeing her with this frequency, you're going to have to explore the LTR option with her.

Negatives:
1 She's just ok physically.
2 She could dress better, sexier, etc.

If she's your girlfriend, she will make herself more attractive if you are a high value man with a lot of options. She will especially do this if she has somewhat healthy self-esteem and women throw themselves at you while you two are out. Work on you, she will improve herself as well to compliment you.

3 She has too much contact with her ex.

When she asks you to be exclusive, just ask her if she contacts her ex. If she says yes, reply "Let's keep things the way they are." If she really wants to be with you, she'll drop him and you negotiated it to be her idea.

4 She is/has been too much
of a slvt.

You have to get over this if you like her. That's not her problem.

5 She has poor health.

Same thing with ex. Say you like your girlfriend to workout with you. If she doesn't get the gym membership, say let's keep things the way they are.

It's all about negotiating what you want. Don't be afraid to walk away. Her positives are pretty good though, so it's up to you if you want to take the chance on her fixing some of the negatives.

 

[skinnyguy]

That's interesting. If I were with a girl I didn't find attractive, I know for a fact the sex would be really bad. The quality of sex I have is based on how hot I find the girl.

She is an ugly sl&t who talks to her ex? Sounds like a keeper to me

 

[pyros]

she's not ugly, shes just average (6) and below the girls I usually bang (6.5 - 7).
Sex is very good because she wants it all the time, and she's open to do everything.

Her health problems? well:
1 She has some problem at her bone marrow so she doesnt produce enough red blood cells, so she has to take iron supplements plus she needs blood transfusions every two or three months. Besides, it is not clear if she will get better with time or not.
2 She has a heart murmur.
3 She has an ulcer in her stomach and doctors dont really seem to know why (could be the iron supplements).

The ex-bf thing:
They have the same group of friends so they have weekly contact.
This guy's brother is her brother in law, because he's dating her sister.
Eventhough she really likes me etc, I sense a part of her still likes her ex bf.
They have this silly 'competition' in which they talk about who they're dating, etc.
This guy cheated on her, she broke up with him, but...
This guy is also 11 years older than her. She says he's a bit ugly, but she also says he has a lot of money and is very persuasive. She also says that he doesn't care about his body so he's skinny fat and dresses poorly.
As far as I know she really invested in the relationship: saving money during months to buy him expensive clothes, gifts, etc etc.
She wanted to introduce him to me but I refused and told her to forget about it. She seemed to understand why.

 

[thatfeel]

Sounds like you've already strung this on for too long. If you dump her now it's going to be hard for her not to think it's cause of her health issues.

 

[dustmuffin]

she's not ugly, shes just average (6) and below the girls I usually bang (6.5 - 7).
Sex is very good because she wants it all the time, and she's open to do everything.

Her health problems? well:
1 She has some problem at her bone marrow so she doesnt produce enough red blood cells, so she has to take iron supplements plus she needs blood transfusions every two or three months. Besides, it is not clear if she will get better with time or not.
2 She has a heart murmur.
3 She has an ulcer in her stomach and doctors dont really seem to know why (could be the iron supplements).

I say give her a chance. Your not going to marry her so health shouldn't be an issue. As far as the ex goes negotiate like a previous poster said. Average looks, good sex and above average personality......give it a try it might work out.

 

[Silko]

I got this exactly the same with my last ex

- not really a crush
- we got good vibe, good talks, ...
- I hesitates longtime
- physically not very attracted (less my type), she is also a 6.5 / 7
- she chased me longtime
- still doubting
- getting feelings for her personality, but not a lot ... until she broke up

You can build up feelings the other way around through time and getting to know each other.
But the problem here is that the feelings of both people having a different path.
- Your feelings are building up
- Her feelings are there (and slowing down)

There is an asynchrone process where the change you outrun each other is high.

Those love feelings helps to do things together. You really wanna see each other.
In my case, she wanted to see me a lot. I hadn't yet the feelings to see her a lot.

We missed each other along the way ... she broke up.
I miss her ... but I think for the wrong reason: missing a mate, attention, a relationship, ...

Maybe perfect/better to keep as lifetime friend (much more value in it, and you never lose this)?

 

[Desdinova]

When it comes to situations like this, you really have to figure out what it is that YOU want. Do you want a long-lasting exclusive relationship? If you do, then you'll have to sacrifice a few things. For me, I'm willing to compromise on the looks. If she treats me like gold, then it's worth it.

If you wanna continue fvcking hot women, then she should be history.

The ex-bf thing:
They have the same group of friends so they have weekly contact.

This is unacceptable. Her unattractive ass isn't worth it at this point.

This guy cheated on her, she broke up with him, but...
This guy is also 11 years older than her. She says he's a bit ugly, but she also says he has a lot of money and is very persuasive. She also says that he doesn't care about his body so he's skinny fat and dresses poorly.
As far as I know she really invested in the relationship: saving money during months to buy him expensive clothes, gifts, etc etc.
She wanted to introduce him to me but I refused and told her to forget about it. She seemed to understand why.

He's at the top of her high score list. You're not. It's evident he's going to remain at the top because she hasn't cut contact with him.

You should NEXT this girl solely based on this. She's already too damaged to qualify as LTR material.

 

[ubercat]

We ve all done it. It never works out well. I d suggest adding distance by being busy. 3 months is normally wen they want to have the exclusive talk so b ready for that. And likely whatever u do she will feel rejected and walk so start spinning up other plates.