"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Date with a lawyer tomorrow!!

Mr. Me

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Realize, MNIN, that whatever rationalization you offer up to explain why you'd reply is going to be just that: a mere rationalization.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jophil28

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Mr. Me said:
Realize, MNIN, that whatever rationalization you offer up to explain why you'd reply is going to be just that: a mere rationalization.
Sometimes it is hard to get through a whole day without a rationalization ot two.
 

iqqi

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Man, you guys act like she hates him. She just told him that she didn't think there was any potential. He isn't asking her to change her mind, or begging for another chance. He is merely responding in a light hearted way. This says the opposite of "piss off" with the most impact, which I don't see why he'd say that in the first place.

The date went fine. She doesn't think there is any future. That happens sometimes. She was honest and nice about it. He doesn't have to be mad, and I think it is good karma to be cool about it. Keeping an open door policy here so to speak could lead to other opportunities, whereas implying that she should "piss off" is definately coming across as bitter and burning a bridge.

MNIN did just fine in this whole thing. I thought she may have been looking for something else from the beginning, and am not surprised she did this at all. MNIN did nothing wrong. His virgin comment may have went over her head, who knows. She may be some psycho phone thrasher, who knows. No first date is perfect.

MNIN, did she ever respond? How do you feel about the fact that you ended it on a light hearted note?
 

Bible_Belt

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Man, you guys act like she hates him. She just told him that she didn't think there was any potential.


There's no potential to fvck her, and that is really all that matters. I would not expect you to understand.
 
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iqqi said:
Man, you guys act like she hates him. She just told him that she didn't think there was any potential. He isn't asking her to change her mind, or begging for another chance. He is merely responding in a light hearted way. This says the opposite of "piss off" with the most impact, which I don't see why he'd say that in the first place.

The date went fine. She doesn't think there is any future. That happens sometimes. She was honest and nice about it. He doesn't have to be mad, and I think it is good karma to be cool about it. Keeping an open door policy here so to speak could lead to other opportunities, whereas implying that she should "piss off" is definately coming across as bitter and burning a bridge.

MNIN did just fine in this whole thing. I thought she may have been looking for something else from the beginning, and am not surprised she did this at all. MNIN did nothing wrong. His virgin comment may have went over her head, who knows. She may be some psycho phone thrasher, who knows. No first date is perfect.

MNIN, did she ever respond? How do you feel about the fact that you ended it on a light hearted note?
yeah she responded

"I knew you would think that! It actually has nothing to do with it. I am SO glad we didn't have sex. It would have been absolutely a BAD idea. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I'm easy like that. It's not true; I don't know what I was thinking....


You are ridiculously funny and cute. But I think we are both looking for a soul mate, and I am pretty sure, even though you are really cool, you're not it. So I just figured we'd nip this in the bud before we actually did "hit it" and then we'd both be regretful."
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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cordoncordon

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Mr. Me said:
She said she doesn't want to see you, and you're going to contact her?

She's an attorney. You want her to file that you're stalking or harassing her?

Why do you have to reply to her, anyway? What is it inside you that makes you feel you so need to do that?
I think you are over reacting.
 

cordoncordon

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My Name is Nobody said:
yeah she responded

"I knew you would think that! It actually has nothing to do with it. I am SO glad we didn't have sex. It would have been absolutely a BAD idea. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I'm easy like that. It's not true; I don't know what I was thinking....


You are ridiculously funny and cute. But I think we are both looking for a soul mate, and I am pretty sure, even though you are really cool, you're not it. So I just figured we'd nip this in the bud before we actually did "hit it" and then we'd both be regretful."
She sounds pretty mature to me. You did fine MNIN, just wasn't a match. No biggie and just move on and you'll find one.

Good luck!
 

iqqi

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My Name is Nobody said:
yeah she responded

"I knew you would think that! It actually has nothing to do with it. I am SO glad we didn't have sex. It would have been absolutely a BAD idea. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I'm easy like that. It's not true; I don't know what I was thinking....


You are ridiculously funny and cute. But I think we are both looking for a soul mate, and I am pretty sure, even though you are really cool, you're not it. So I just figured we'd nip this in the bud before we actually did "hit it" and then we'd both be regretful."
Interesting...

It is too bad that she can't just have fun with you. Instead she would rather sit at home alone with her Haagen Daas and Sex in the City reruns!

If you follow that up, just say something along the lines of if she ever DOESN'T want to sit at home with her Haagen Daas and SITC reruns, to give you a buzz and you will think of some bad ideas for the two of you to get into. And say "I bet you have a dirty mind and just took that out of context".

Or don't follow it up, its all up to you. Right now you guys are both on good standing with each other. She is older, and is looking for something serious, and she doesn't think its you. I suspected that would be the case!
 

cordoncordon

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My Name is Nobody said:
yeah she responded

"I knew you would think that! It actually has nothing to do with it. I am SO glad we didn't have sex. It would have been absolutely a BAD idea. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that I'm easy like that. It's not true; I don't know what I was thinking....


You are ridiculously funny and cute. But I think we are both looking for a soul mate, and I am pretty sure, even though you are really cool, you're not it. So I just figured we'd nip this in the bud before we actually did "hit it" and then we'd both be regretful."

I really like this line by her. Cute, complimentary, but direct.
 
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iqqi said:
Interesting...

It is too bad that she can't just have fun with you. Instead she would rather sit at home alone with her Haagen Daas and Sex in the City reruns!

If you follow that up, just say something along the lines of if she ever DOESN'T want to sit at home with her Haagen Daas and SITC reruns, to give you a buzz and you will think of some bad ideas for the two of you to get into. And say "I bet you have a dirty mind and just took that out of context".

Or don't follow it up, its all up to you. Right now you guys are both on good standing with each other. She is older, and is looking for something serious, and she doesn't think its you. I suspected that would be the case!
Nah, I'm just going to leave it alone.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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cordoncordon

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iqqi said:
Interesting...

It is too bad that she can't just have fun with you. Instead she would rather sit at home alone with her Haagen Daas and Sex in the City reruns!

If you follow that up, just say something along the lines of if she ever DOESN'T want to sit at home with her Haagen Daas and SITC reruns, to give you a buzz and you will think of some bad ideas for the two of you to get into. And say "I bet you have a dirty mind and just took that out of context".

Or don't follow it up, its all up to you. Right now you guys are both on good standing with each other. She is older, and is looking for something serious, and she doesn't think its you. I suspected that would be the case!
I think at this point he should just let it alone and let things stand where they may. :)
 

Mr. Me

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The date went fine.
Not my idea of a fine date. What would make it a great date? Catching her going though my wallet while she flirts with the entire wait staff?

You are ridiculously funny and cute. But I think we are both looking for a soul mate, and I am pretty sure, even though you are really cool, you're not it.
One day, years down the road, MNIN, you'll remember this message and maybe finally it will dawn you how it's just BS. And you'll be able to easily figure out why it is too.

She doesn't think there is any future.
She doesn't think there's any "present" either. And the "past" ain't so hot to boot.

I think it's more like, "this whole thing is awkward, but I wasn't that interested to begin with, which is why I can blow him off. Especially since he knows I'm a paranoid snoop."

This says the opposite of "piss off"
Actually, the opposite of "piss off" would be more like, "Get your a$$ here".

What she told him was a gentle variation of "piss off", not its opposite.

It's so cute watching you kids reinvent the wheel.

Iqqy, you and MNIN should have a date together and then both post threads. That would be a v-e-r-y entertaining thread!
 

iqqi

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Mr. Me said:
Not my idea of a fine date. What would make it a great date? Catching her going though my wallet while she flirts with the entire wait staff?
Well no need to respond to everything you said since you first line illustrates how ludicrous your thinking is! Lol. His wallet, and the entire wait staff.

That gave me a good laugh!
 

cordoncordon

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Mr. Me said:
Not my idea of a fine date. What would make it a great date? Catching her going though my wallet while she flirts with the entire wait staff?



One day, years down the road, MNIN, you'll remember this message and maybe finally it will dawn you how it's just BS. And you'll be able to easily figure out why it is too.



She doesn't think there's any "present" either. And the "past" ain't so hot to boot.

I think it's more like, "this whole thing is awkward, but I wasn't that interested to begin with, which is why I can blow him off. Especially since he knows I'm a paranoid snoop."



Actually, the opposite of "piss off" would be more like, "Get your a$$ here".

What she told him was a gentle variation of "piss off", not its opposite.

It's so cute watching you kids reinvent the wheel.

Iqqy, you and MNIN should have a date together and then both post threads. That would be a v-e-r-y entertaining thread!

Again, I think you are overreacting and over analyzing.

She just wasn't that into him. And to be honest I think MNIN could take her or leave her as well if he really thinks about it. Not much more to be said.
 

iqqi

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cordoncordon said:
Again, I think you are overreacting and over analyzing.

She just wasn't that into him. And to be honest I think MNIN could take her or leave her as well if he really thinks about it. Not much more to be said.
I too think he could take her if he wanted her. In this case a little confident persistence, and she would be all his. IMO.

MNIN, you get a B+ on this FR! :D
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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The only reason it wasn't a great date is because I turned her down for sex. She wanted it. I'm not interested in ONS anymore and that's what it would have been.
 

cordoncordon

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I've been reading this idea that because he turned her down for sex that THAT is the reason she isn't as into him as she might normally be. I just gotta tell you from my experience in doing the same, or in hearing it from woman that have had that happen to them, turning down a woman for sex on the first date will 99.999999999999999% of the time increase her interest level in you.

People want what they can't have. People respect people that don't follow the status quo. You were different. You weren't just a guy wanting to hit it. I'm not saying that you should have turned her down if she really wanted it, imo you should have just gone with the flow, but I also don't believe that your lack of sexing had anything to do with her not wanting a second date.

And ya know, if it was? She isn't worth it anyway.
 

iqqi

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cordoncordon said:
I just gotta tell you from my experience in doing the same, or in hearing it from woman that have had that happen to them, turning down a woman for sex on the first date will 99.999999999999999% of the time increase her interest level in you.

People want what they can't have. People respect people that don't follow the status quo. You were different. You weren't just a guy wanting to hit it. I'm not saying that you should have turned her down if she really wanted it, imo you should have just gone with the flow, but I also don't believe that your lack of sexing had anything to do with her not wanting a second date.
This is true.

UNLESS she felt rejected, and her only recourse was to reject back.

Which I pointed out in the beginning could be what happened. Some women are so insecure that they take that as an outright rejection, and they take it badly.
 

cordoncordon

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iqqi said:
This is true.

UNLESS she felt rejected, and her only recourse was to reject back.

Which I pointed out in the beginning could be what happened. Some women are so insecure that they take that as an outright rejection, and they take it badly.
Well I am assuming that he said it in such a way as to make her feel she is desirable and that he is going to tap that in the very near future because lawyer girl is so hot right now, (lawyer girl) instead of just telling her no and walking away.
 
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I think she was just horny and she wanted to ride a young buck like me. I'm not in her league, ofcourse she wasn't interested in anything else. Maybe her boring lawyer b/f was out of town for the weekend. Who the hell knows.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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