"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Date Tonight and Question...

golf299

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i've got a date tonight (first one) with a girl i've casually known for a few months. here's how the date came about:

i asked her out for last weekend, but she was already busy and had to counter-offer for this weekend. that's fine. then early last week she said she wanted to talk about the prospect of us going out...

we talked and she voiced some certain concerns and said she wanted a couple weeks to think it over before she made her decision, and that she was sorry to leave me hanging like that. apparently she has had some bad relationships in the past and doens't know if she's ready for another one yet...

at that point, the date for this weekend was still up in the air. she said she'd tell me later in the week if she would take me up on my offer. well, she called the next day to accept.

i'm a bit confused as to whether her acceptance of the date in any way nullifies the two weeks she needs to think it over or not.

1) should i bring that up?
2) what can i do to make her decision easier, as in: giving this a chance?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Desdinova

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Sounds like she may have given you a 5hit test, and you passed it. Not sure what you did right.

Anyway, when you go on your date, don't focus on her past relationships. Focus on going out with her and having fun! Make sure she has a damn good time. She'll be glad that she decided to accept your offer.
 

Doctor Who

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You have to give us the report.

Hopefully it went well. Her counter offer, and the fact that she did actually accept were good signs.

Response to the first question: I would not have brought it up, since that would show insecurity.

Response to the 2nd question: Dont think about her motivation. Just have a good time. If you are compatible, and give off the right vibe, it will just click naturally. If you are constantly worrying about how she feels, then you are going to come off as nervous.

Hopefully your date went well.
 

Julian

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Wtf ur going out for coffee, you already did something wrong if this chick is saying she doesnt know if she wants to get into a relationship with you.

Wtf
 

golf299

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UPDATE

the date went well, everything went smoothly. we both had fun, and i could tell that she was being kinda shy.

i did not bring up the 2-week wait period bit.

after we ate, i took her home. she invited me up to her place. i stayed for maybe an hour and then excused myself. i didn't want to over-extend my stay.

at the end i really was wanting to kiss her but opted not to. it's just that i didn't want to push her before she was ready. i suppose that i'll just wait for the 2-weeks she needs to come to a conclusion and see what happens then...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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