vagrant said:
I got more sh!t to think about before i go to sleep...
Poor kid – he is probably dreaming about the library and the details of his surprise attack that he will soon spring upon his unsuspecting romantic partner, who he is sure is cheating on him under the guise of studying for her SAT exam with a dude at the library!
Vagrant, although tormented and restless, eventually falls asleep…
The library dream...
”When I get to the library should I enter the back door or the front door – maybe I should go through a window?” “No, better not go through a window, they may think I’m up to no good and call the police – then my girl will truly find out my intentions when she hears the sirens out front and looks out the window and sees me getting handcuffed” “What to do, what to do? Hmmmmm”
“I’ll have to go in a disguised outfit – but what, but what?
In his dream state he sees himself in the perfect outfit – A BOOK!
“Yeah, that’s it – a book is the perfect cover at the library – I’ll blend right in!!” What kind of book should I be? A textbook? No, that’s too boring. I know, a skateboarding book on a skateboard (remember, this is a dream) – yeah, that’s it! Oh no, wait, that will be too obvious, she’ll know it’s me considering that she knows that my main mode of transport is the skateboard since I don’t have a car. Damn, I should get a job so that I can buy a car then I could be more mobile to track her movements more efficiently” “It has to be a very thin book so that I can easily maneuver through the book shelves – eureka, I got it – I’ll go as a “The History of rational, responsible women in the USA” book!
NARRATION:
The dream gets blurry and takes on a new twist…as dreams always do.
There is a windstorm and he sees a cow flying in the sky wearing pink underwear and goggles, eating a hamburger (Bizarre, I know, but remember it’s a dream). He sees Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz “, flying around in the windstorm asking the cow for directions to Kansas. The cow just shrugs and says, “Hell if I know, do you think I would be in the air with you if I knew?” Then the cow starts laughing so hysterically that he starts choking on the hamburger!
Then he sees Morpheus, from “The Matrix”, running from the Agents trying to silence him from divulging the truth to the masses. Morpheus is saying, “Feet don’t fail me now - there is no spoon, there is no spoon”. Right then, out of nowhere a large 6 foot fork hits Morpheus in the face and flattens him - an Agent mockingly comments, “There is no spoon but there is a fork!” And he starts laughing hysterically but then suddenly the large fork takes him out too and splits him in half!
After this brief out of sync dream sequence, Vagrant’s girl appears on the scene – she is frolicking about in a field of flowers on a beautiful summer day, naked and only wearing a large smile on her face – he never saw her so happy and so invigorating – she is singing a song with a beautiful melody…La la la, blah blah blah, my beau has found me and will soon pound me, la la la, blah blah blah, he is my beau and I will be his Ho, la la la, blah blah blah, lust is in the air and we make such a great pair la la la, blah blah blah, he will lay me and then play with me, la la la ---- “
Vagrant. Naked as a Jay bird, enters the field of flowers with his arms wide open exclaiming, “I’m here baby, I love you, we shall never part” And then he hums the melody as he is running towards her…but he keeps chasing her but he never seems to reach her (metaphor)…surprisingly, out of nowhere appears Mr. SAT, naked, with books under his arm and then his books fall as he embraces the naked hor and swings her around in her elated state as she is so happy to finally feel his embrace --- Vagrant stops in his tracks and shockingly looks on as he watches them frolicking about in slow motion, which seemed to be an eternity, until eventually they fall in the tall grass out of his sight. He does not see her but he only hears her too familiar moans and screams of ecstasy, He feels foolish and betrayed, even more so when he realizes that he is naked! He realizes that his nakedness is a metaphor for his opened trust and unrestrained emotions that he shared with her – “I exposed my all to her!”, he cries. He finally realizes the error of his ways, “That PuertoRican_Lover dude was right – you can’t trust these hors with your emotions – never love a hor!!!”
Little SoSuave DJ demons appear on his shoulder and slyly state, “There is no such thing as a hor, don’t be a misogynist woman hater”, Vagrant in his indignation rebukes them, and rightfully so! They let out eerily screams and then vanish leaving a “poof” sound in their wake.
Vagrant wakes up with his head swaying side to side clamoring, “I’ll be a DJ one day, I’ll be a DJ one day”. His mother sees his distressed state and slaps him to wake him up into reality (metaphor). His mother asks, “What’s wrong?” Vagrant jumps up out of his bed and runs out the door screaming, “I have to get to the library, I have to get to the library!!! By the time his mother runs to the door Vagrant is a few hundred yards away already, riding furiously on his skateboard at record speed. His mother, in a distraught state yells to him, “Aren’t you going to put on any clothes?” by then Vagrant is too far away and to mentally focused on his mission to hear his mother’s concern and he, unknowingly, is riding his skateboard naked to the library, with his little ‘willy” flapping about, muttering to himself, “I have to know, I have to know for sure”.
The End.