Daily Journal for Cold Approaches

[Drex]

Ok I hosted his pic. ClickHERE to view it. He's the guy on the right.

By the way jwhite, your cousin is gorgeous! How old is she?

 

[Coda A27]

I'd say he's definetly above average (from a non-homogay 100% secure male point of view). One can't help but think about how looks affect a first encounter before any meaningful or effective words are exchanged.

 

[white_hype]

cool pic

this is a good chance to see what everyones scale is

what would u guys rate the girl in the middle?

and be honest

i would give her a 7.5-8 depending on how her lower half looks

 

[kairos]

Yo jwhite....I need some help with your style of approach. I still get stuck after they say "Yes" for "are you single?". Today I approached this real hottie and she told me she was single and gave me some great openings, lots of EC - but I blew it big time! Anyways, it was actually fun to screw up like that

It would be great if you could give examples of entire conversations to see what you can say....I think the follow up after "are you single" is important....let me know if you can help.

kairos

 

[myfriendblu]

Yep, that chik is a hotty, I give her a HB7.5. jwhite is obviously a good looking guy, so thats gonna help in your cold approach game . If ya ask me white, I think your sellin yourself short by jumping right into a LTR. I think ya need to be single and just date around and see people, maybe get like 2 or 3 girls in rotation. Just IMO, your young it would be as shame to waste your time on an LTR thats not gonna work out.

 

[jwhite17]

Drex,
Thanks again for hosting my pic. Also, my cousin is a 18 year old freshman in college. She is single I believe .

Kairo's,
Good for you to go out of your comfort zone and pick out the girls you want. Usually, I didn't have the time(summer school at the time) to have a long convo, so I would cut it short, for example
Me: Are you single?
Her: "Yes!"
Me: "I got to go(which I did), but I would really like to meet you some time, what's your number?"
If they were single, it would work all the time. My goal wasn't to get good at having conversations with girls; all I wanted was to be able to approach any girl any time. Also, if I had the time, I would have some fluff talk(where you from? What are you doing here? What's your major? Etc) with them for a few minutes and then close, and some girls that aren't single still want to talk to you, but it is your job to keep the conversation going and making her feel comfortable around you like you are a friendly guy.

myfriendblu,
This girl I'm with isn't your average chick. She has ambition(pre-med), drive, teaches ab and aerobic classes(great body), positive outlook on life, traditional, and I could go on and on. She is so far ahead(maturity) than other girls, and I know for a fact she would never cheat on me unless I cheated on her. She possesses all the traits I look for in a LTR(which is why I'm with her). Anyways, I always try to look for the good things in people, and whatever happens I will adjust, and continue to seek for a quality chick. I know I could date/fvck a few girls, but I would rather have one quality chick that I can trust than 1000 slutty girls that will jump on anything with a dyck. And fvcking lots of random girls is not who I am or will ever be. So, don't worry about me, I haven't given over my balls.
Later
J

 

[kairos]

Thanks jwhite...interesting. I would say that in a city like NYC, going for the number straight after "are you single" generally doesn't work...so I generally get a good convo going and show them I'm sorta different than the general AFC...then going for the number usually works....but today I completely froze for some reason, my mind went blank....funny!

 

[jwhite17]

I just wanted to bump this for all you college guys because I believe that is the perfect environment for cold PU's. If I started this journal over the fall semester, I could have done like 10 or more approaches a day. So, if you are in college, don't let the opportunities pass you by because college doesn't last forever.
JW

 

[kairos]

Gosh jwhite - I need a little help from you...I choke too much. In NYC, I just go out everyday and I have about 10 chances for a pickup - right when the girl is near me, I choke - any advice to avoid this.....

 

[jwhite17]

Gosh jwhite - I need a little help from you...I choke too much. In NYC, I just go out everyday and I have about 10 chances for a pickup - right when the girl is near me, I choke - any advice to avoid this.....

I haven't been to NYC, but it has so many people, so I can see why you would choke often. I would just say go for it because
1)Nothing to lose
2)Nobody cares around you(actually, some guys would be envious because you have the balls to do that)
3)Never see her again most likely
4)This is all practice
5)It's a number's game, you won't have success without failure
6)It shouldn't be that big of a deal, approaching women is fun!

Also, don't put do much emphasis on approaching or getting one girl or success. Just think of it as you are working on a skill and the only way to improve is by practice. When I walk around campus here, I see new HB's everyday(NYC must be even better), and there are so many girls that you will never be able to approach them all. Don't life in a scarcity mentality, you are free to choose any girl you want because it is your decision whether you want this girl or not by approaching her.
Good luck
J

 

[Sir Auron]

Okay, well I'm in a bit of awe here of your work and am very inspired, but I just don't get this single question business.

I know you've been asked this 8264 times already, but after they've said "Yeah, I'm single"... doesn't it feel strange to just say "okay, so it's great whether we're having"... you know, jump the subjects. Doesn't flow with the conversation?

Or do you have a flow on line, like "So you are single? Well that's great cause I think I can see myself having a great time with you, what's your number and we'll get together sometime."


Just my little quirk

Keep up the great work and all my best with you and the gf

-Auron

 

[Walden]

I found J's tactic was the money but I can never rock "Do you have a boyfriend <CLANG! of changing gears> how 'bout that local sports team?"

But there are "subtle" ways to work it in like if she said she went to the beach you go "So your boy's a surfer then?" .

Chicks take the hint, which gets you out of the friendzone quickly also.

 

[Marquez]

Hi jwhite, great journal and thank you for posting. I have a question regard the approach of your current girlfriend:

Approach 5 on July 9, 2003
I saw a HB9 laying down outside my dorm. I immediately approached her without any hesitation. I was with a couple of guys, and we had an interesting conversation with her.
Subsequently, a couple of days later she comes into my room to talk. At first she seemed a bit nervous around, then after awhile she opened up. A week later; she spends the night, which I don’t have any problems with. She is definitely a quality chick who could be LTR material, but I still want to see what else is out there.

Did you immediately start with the question "Are you single" or did you just have a conversation? I would like to know what you made different (even slightly) when you compare the "now your girlfriend" approach the other ones.

 

[kairos]

I use a simple response to follow up with "are you single?" - if theyt say "yes'....I go...."I had this funny intuition you might be single....so I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes...."...they usually giggle...I follow up with..."I didn't mean to make you blush!" - I think this paces the conversation a bit...which is required in a place like NYC....

 

[jwhite17]

Sir Auron,

I know you've been asked this 8264 times already, but after they've said "Yeah, I'm single"... doesn't it feel strange to just say "okay, so it's great whether we're having"... you know, jump the subjects. Doesn't flow with the conversation?

I don't look at it that way. I'm asking if she is single to see if she is worth my time or not. Since I did most of my CA's on campus, I had to make it short because some of them were walking the other way or busy doing something else like reading. So, I would cut to the chase and ask them out right then and their not caring about rapport at that time.

The thing I find most interesting is that the girls that aren't single want you to stay and talk to them more than the girls that are. Also, kairos gave an excellent example of what to say after. I believe you can say whatever you want because you are setting yourself up as someone different than another guy who can't ask her out, and I believe it increases the attraction and curosity she has in you in the first few moments of meeting you.

Marquez,

Did you immediately start with the question "Are you single" or did you just have a conversation? I would like to know what you made different (even slightly) when you compare the "now your girlfriend" approach the other ones.

It is funny you ask that because I did that approach differently than the others. Let me give you the fuller version of the story, I was walking back from lunch with to guy friends. I see my then future GF lying down on the ground with the shortest shorts I have ever seen in my life . She has a killer body, and her thong was sticking straight out! Anyways, she was with this other girl(her roommate as I found out later).

I didn't waste any time, and I approached without the other guys knowing and then they joined me. Then we had a conversation, and I took my attention away from my future GF and gave it to the other girl(about a 5), and that's what happened initinally.

The difference between this approach and most of my other approaches was that I approached two girls together(usually one girl by herself) and with a group(I did the other ones alone).

kairos,
Thanks for the answer to a previous question. I know you are pulling all those HB's in NYC.

JW

 

[kairos]

One question I have is about approaching girls in a group. I think I am confident enough to do that now. A lot of girls I see in the bookstore etc. are standing with a friend or a couple of friends. I think it is an excellent way to do a cold approach because they will be less intimidated because they have friends along - and we will all probably have a nice laugh about it. But will it be rude if I just approach one girl out of the bunch and ignore the others? Sometimes I felt like asking "Are you girls single?" but I don't know if that will work as well. Bottomline, I don't want to make the other friends feel bad especially if they are not as hot as the one I'm approaching. Any tactics for handling this?

 

[Marquez]

Hi jwhite,
did you use the line "Are you single" on her (your future gf) too?

Regards,
Marquez

 

[jwhite17]

kairos,
I have never tried approaching one girl in a group with a purpose. I usually just talk to all types of women to improve my social skills. I think it would be awkward if you approach a HB with her friend and only concentrate on the HB. The friend might get jealous and could **** block you. The only time I approached a girl with other people next to her occurred when I approached a blonde chick with her parents during orientation(You should have seen the expression on her parent's faces!). Anyways, I believe you should try it just for practice and to see if it will work. I mean, if you see the girl of your dreams, will you let another girl or guy stand in your way to get what you want.

Marquez,

did you use the line "Are you single" on her (your future gf) too?

Actually, I meant my current GF not future GF(was that at the time, sorry for the confusion). And the answer to your question is no because I found out all the information about that topic without having to ask her. You don't always have to start out a convo with a girl with "Are you single?" Initinally, it helped me know exactly what to say when I first interacted with a girl. After each approach, it gets easier and easier, so the reason I couldn't give a definite answer what to say after "are you single" was that I got so use to the approach, I became more comfortable with talking to girls that I could extend the conversation in any direction I wanted after my first question.
Later
JW

 

[kairos]

I will say this, that if a girl already has a friend she is walking with, at worst you should simply wait till they kinda separate, I've found that girls who have friends tend to be a lot more relaxed during a cold approach. They have fun with it....

 

[jwhite17]

I haven't been to this site in awhile, but I saw that a question was left unanswered.

When I was getting numbers, I would carry around a blank piece of paper(notebook paper). If they wanted to give me their number, I would tear it off to make it seem like I approached them out of the blue and not some random pickup I do on all hot chicks. Also, I would ask them to write it down.

I have a cell phone, but I believe that it isn't the same as a piece of pen and paper.

J