"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Daily Journal for Cold Approaches
- Thread starter jwhite17
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Coda A27
Don Juan
white_hype
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2003
- Messages
- 522
- Reaction score
- 1
this is a good chance to see what everyones scale is
what would u guys rate the girl in the middle?
and be honest
i would give her a 7.5-8 depending on how her lower half looks
It would be great if you could give examples of entire conversations to see what you can say....I think the follow up after "are you single" is important....let me know if you can help.
kairos
myfriendblu
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2003
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Thanks again for hosting my pic. Also, my cousin is a 18 year old freshman in college. She is single I believe
.Kairo's,
Good for you to go out of your comfort zone and pick out the girls you want. Usually, I didn't have the time(summer school at the time) to have a long convo, so I would cut it short, for example
Me: Are you single?
Her: "Yes!"
Me: "I got to go(which I did), but I would really like to meet you some time, what's your number?"
If they were single, it would work all the time. My goal wasn't to get good at having conversations with girls; all I wanted was to be able to approach any girl any time. Also, if I had the time, I would have some fluff talk(where you from? What are you doing here? What's your major? Etc) with them for a few minutes and then close, and some girls that aren't single still want to talk to you, but it is your job to keep the conversation going and making her feel comfortable around you like you are a friendly guy.
myfriendblu,
This girl I'm with isn't your average chick. She has ambition(pre-med), drive, teaches ab and aerobic classes(great body), positive outlook on life, traditional, and I could go on and on. She is so far ahead(maturity) than other girls, and I know for a fact she would never cheat on me unless I cheated on her. She possesses all the traits I look for in a LTR(which is why I'm with her). Anyways, I always try to look for the good things in people, and whatever happens I will adjust, and continue to seek for a quality chick. I know I could date/fvck a few girls, but I would rather have one quality chick that I can trust than 1000 slutty girls that will jump on anything with a dyck. And fvcking lots of random girls is not who I am or will ever be. So, don't worry about me, I haven't given over my balls.
Later
J
JW
I haven't been to NYC, but it has so many people, so I can see why you would choke often. I would just say go for it because
1)Nothing to lose
2)Nobody cares around you(actually, some guys would be envious because you have the balls to do that)
3)Never see her again most likely
4)This is all practice
5)It's a number's game, you won't have success without failure
6)It shouldn't be that big of a deal, approaching women is fun!
Also, don't put do much emphasis on approaching or getting one girl or success. Just think of it as you are working on a skill and the only way to improve is by practice. When I walk around campus here, I see new HB's everyday(NYC must be even better), and there are so many girls that you will never be able to approach them all. Don't life in a scarcity mentality, you are free to choose any girl you want because it is your decision whether you want this girl or not by approaching her.
Good luck
J
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I know you've been asked this 8264 times already, but after they've said "Yeah, I'm single"... doesn't it feel strange to just say "okay, so it's great whether we're having"... you know, jump the subjects. Doesn't flow with the conversation?
Or do you have a flow on line, like "So you are single? Well that's great cause I think I can see myself having a great time with you, what's your number and we'll get together sometime."
Just my little quirk
Keep up the great work and all my best with you and the gf
-Auron
Walden
Master Don Juan
But there are "subtle" ways to work it in like if she said she went to the beach you go "So your boy's a surfer then?" .
Chicks take the hint, which gets you out of the friendzone quickly also.
Marquez
Don Juan
Did you immediately start with the question "Are you single" or did you just have a conversation? I would like to know what you made different (even slightly) when you compare the "now your girlfriend" approach the other ones.
I don't look at it that way. I'm asking if she is single to see if she is worth my time or not. Since I did most of my CA's on campus, I had to make it short because some of them were walking the other way or busy doing something else like reading. So, I would cut to the chase and ask them out right then and their not caring about rapport at that time.
The thing I find most interesting is that the girls that aren't single want you to stay and talk to them more than the girls that are. Also, kairos gave an excellent example of what to say after. I believe you can say whatever you want because you are setting yourself up as someone different than another guy who can't ask her out, and I believe it increases the attraction and curosity she has in you in the first few moments of meeting you.
Marquez,
It is funny you ask that because I did that approach differently than the others. Let me give you the fuller version of the story, I was walking back from lunch with to guy friends. I see my then future GF lying down on the ground with the shortest shorts I have ever seen in my life
. She has a killer body, and her thong was sticking straight out! Anyways, she was with this other girl(her roommate as I found out later). I didn't waste any time, and I approached without the other guys knowing and then they joined me. Then we had a conversation, and I took my attention away from my future GF and gave it to the other girl(about a 5), and that's what happened initinally.
The difference between this approach and most of my other approaches was that I approached two girls together(usually one girl by herself) and with a group(I did the other ones alone).
kairos,
Thanks for the answer to a previous question. I know you are pulling all those HB's in NYC.
JW
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Marquez
Don Juan
did you use the line "Are you single" on her (your future gf) too?
Regards,
Marquez
I have never tried approaching one girl in a group with a purpose. I usually just talk to all types of women to improve my social skills. I think it would be awkward if you approach a HB with her friend and only concentrate on the HB. The friend might get jealous and could **** block you. The only time I approached a girl with other people next to her occurred when I approached a blonde chick with her parents during orientation(You should have seen the expression on her parent's faces!). Anyways, I believe you should try it just for practice and to see if it will work. I mean, if you see the girl of your dreams, will you let another girl or guy stand in your way to get what you want.
Marquez,
Actually, I meant my current GF not future GF(was that at the time, sorry for the confusion). And the answer to your question is no because I found out all the information about that topic without having to ask her. You don't always have to start out a convo with a girl with "Are you single?" Initinally, it helped me know exactly what to say when I first interacted with a girl. After each approach, it gets easier and easier, so the reason I couldn't give a definite answer what to say after "are you single" was that I got so use to the approach, I became more comfortable with talking to girls that I could extend the conversation in any direction I wanted after my first question.
Later
JW
When I was getting numbers, I would carry around a blank piece of paper(notebook paper). If they wanted to give me their number, I would tear it off to make it seem like I approached them out of the blue and not some random pickup I do on all hot chicks. Also, I would ask them to write it down.
I have a cell phone, but I believe that it isn't the same as a piece of pen and paper.
J
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.