Well, i've been stuck in the LJBF zone for a while with this particular girl, and am ready to move on. The problem is that she thinks of me as her "best guy-friend" and i don't want to be a jerk about it or anything, but i just want to move on. So any advice on how to do this?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Cutting the cord?
- Thread starter Jokerlsk
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
someone800
Don Juan
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Hey,
I think I'm in somewhat of the same situation. I met this girl at the beginning of the school year as she moved in from another state and I started hanging out with her and we became great friends and she considers me her "best guy-friend" I believe too. The thing is, there has probably been two-three times where I would find myself so attached to her that I would want to go for her. I usually conclude not to go for her, but she's really flirtatious and stuff. I don't know how this particular girl you know is, but if she's like the one I know-mind over matter.
I think I'm in somewhat of the same situation. I met this girl at the beginning of the school year as she moved in from another state and I started hanging out with her and we became great friends and she considers me her "best guy-friend" I believe too. The thing is, there has probably been two-three times where I would find myself so attached to her that I would want to go for her. I usually conclude not to go for her, but she's really flirtatious and stuff. I don't know how this particular girl you know is, but if she's like the one I know-mind over matter.
HTownLunatic
Don Juan
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Same issue here. But recently, I have just begun to stop giving her so much attention, like walking her to class and such. So now I feel less attached and less of a need to talk to her as much as I used to. I used to look forward to seeing her everyday. She has even begun to say, at least on three occasions, "We haven't talked in so long."
So long story short, don't talk to her as often as you used to and you will feel less attached.
So long story short, don't talk to her as often as you used to and you will feel less attached.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Munchking
Don Juan
I have been in a similar situation. My suggestion is to let the friendship naturally dissolve: just put less effort into spending time with her. If you chat a lot on an IM, don't sign on as often, or be busy. Just change a few small parts of your life which enable the two of you to drift apart. You'll remain on good terms, but the "close bond" will wear away over time.
antidonjuan
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if she is worth a friend, keep her as an honest friend because it's not all about flirting with women, sometimes we need some friends that are girls
if she is pretty, oh, that's a different story
if she is pretty, oh, that's a different story
antidonjuan
Banned
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yea, hb 7 is what i look for as good friends, set ur expectations high like 8.5-10 for gaming, just don't treat the 6-7s too poorly and just be friends
a hb 7 for a friend maybe, def should not be a target
a hb 7 for a friend maybe, def should not be a target
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.