Current situation

[Visionist]

Always look at her relationship with her father, any woman.

Does she adore him, follow his counsel? If she doesn't and they have a bad relationship, even if it's his fault, run away, fast.

 

[RicBoy]

My blood tests arrived, im good , no corona virus

 

[RicBoy]

My birthday comes in 4 weeks., it will be 2 months no contact by then. If she reaches out ill update this post. 1 month ago when we argued she said she was seeing someone so I probably won't hear from her.

Anyways if she wishes me happy birthday how should I respond? "thank you"?

 

[Visionist]

Just like you shouldn't apologize to women, you shouldn't thank them either. No matter what they've done for you. Always say "that's right" if they compliment you or "it sure is" if they like something you've done or possess.

At most you can bait her fragile ego by telling her she's done well to notice something about you.

What's it gonna take to stop you thinking about this woman and start doing your own thing? No Contact whilst secretly thinking about her isn't No Contact, it's desperation. You're supposed to forget about her.

 

[RicBoy]

I'm not gonna send it, I just wanna share it. How does this letter look for the outsiders. Let's say she would get it after 2 or 3 months of no contact.

Hello xxxx,

I hope things are going good with you.
I thought for a long time if I should write you or just let things be in the past, but ultimately I decided to contact you.

I'm not writing you with any agenda to get closer to you or to justify my behavior from the past. I know I have apologized to you before, but my apologies were empty, desperate and from a place of fear losing you.

You were a very good person to me during the time we were together and you truly deserve a sincere apology from me.
I'm not going to justify any of my behaviour, I simply want to own all my behaviour like a man and I sincerely want to tell you that I'm truly sorry for the way I behaved during our last month together and the following months after.

For whatever is worth, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about you and your daughter and I truly just want you two to be happy.
I hope you girls are doing well.

I don't expect anything from this letter. I'm contacting you to truly letting you know that I'm sorry and that I appreciate the time we spent together, all the memories and the way you have always treated me.

 

[bcude]

It will give her a nice ego boost of knowing that you're still pining over her. It will probably make her day. You're removing whatever uncertainty there is after no contact, into comfort.
It looks like you're at her service, like a good reliable dog.
You've been thinking about her and her daughter everyday? This confirms in her mind that you must be a loser without options. Attraction unfortunately doesn't follow the romantic rules of Disney.

I believe that writing down what's on your mind is a good self-therapy practice and there is a point to it, but never send it away. This letter was for you and you only. You've apologized once, which was one time too much already. Women despise weakness, even if you were at fault, remember that. I know there's no logic behind it but attraction doesn't follow logic.

Now erase it.

 

[RicBoy]

It will give her a nice ego boost of knowing that you're still pining over her. It will probably make her day. You're removing whatever uncertainty there is after no contact, into comfort.
It looks like you're at her service, like a good reliable dog.
You've been thinking about her and her daughter everyday? This confirms in her mind that you must be a loser without options. Attraction unfortunately doesn't follow the romantic rules of Disney.

I believe that writing down what's on your mind is a good self-therapy practice and there is a point to it, but never send it away. This letter was for you and you only. You've apologized once, which was one time too much already. Women despise weakness, even if you were at fault, remember that. I know there's no logic behind it but attraction doesn't follow logic.

Now erase it.

Alright that put some sense into my head. I was abusive. In one fight I shoved her, she felt on her back on the bed (I knew the bed was behind her) then I went on top of her and tried to rip her clothes apart. It was in a jokinly sexual way but still abusive and agressive. I wanted to scare her because she was acting like a **** lately, we were both drunk. She kicked me out after that. I apologized many times. Then she reached out several times because our kids are friends, she seemed she had forgotten the past but kept her distance a bit and tested me, I got triggered and insulted her, called fat ***** and told her off. Again apologized this time I got blocked. She is been gone now for 4 weeks silent.

What I did that night wasn't pretty, but I think she used it to have a reason to get rid of me because she was feeling smothered with my neediness and have me around her house almost daily, cooking for me, doing my laundry etc

 

[Visionist]

What you did isn't even particularly bad and certainly didn't warrant any apology, not then, not now, not ever.

I can see that we're talking to a wall here trying to get you to forget about this girl.

 

[RicBoy]

I got good news today.. I was invited to be a partner in a small business. They are gonna give me a car for the specify work and I can drive it as much as I want off working hours.

I already have a job and a company car. Now I will have 2 jobs, 2 cars, I'm getting my own place next month and moving my son to live with me. He lives abroad with his mother.

When i was with my ex I had nothing and I was unemployed.

How can I show her these changes? Would be OK to write her in couple of months to let her now how much I've changed? She said one of the reasons she left me is because I wasn't ambitious

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

I got good news today.. I was invited to be a partner in a small business. They are gonna give me a car for the specify work and I can drive it as much as I want off working hours.

I already have a job and a company car. Now I will have 2 jobs, 2 cars, I'm getting my own place next month and moving my son to live with me. He lives abroad with his mother.

When i was with my ex I had nothing and I was unemployed.

How can I show her these changes? Would be OK to write her in couple of months to let her now how much I've changed? She said one of the reasons she left me is because I wasn't ambitious

No Contact means no contact.

You’re a tough one, MOVE ON.

You are still seeking external validation.

Nothing has changed within you. MOVE ON.

STOP thinking about her. In ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. YOU FVC KED UP, now GROW UP and MOVE ON.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

It’s over. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can move on and be happy. I don’t understand why you are ignoring this advice repeatedly. But you may have to waste more years of your life before you finally accept that it’s not going to happen and make your own decision to move on.

 

[RicBoy]

i guess i have hope and I trust myself i can re-attract her. I dont believe that red pill saying that once you fk up with a woman its done forever. I believe a woman will perceive as you present yourself in the moment. I've gotten back several exes before.

 

[RicBoy]

My ex's daughter just today unblocked me and sent me a voice msg to my WhatsApp. I don't think my ex knows about it. It's been 35 days NC

 

[darksprezzatura]

Too much analysis over one woman. None of this attention is worth on one dumb hoe who's making you confused.

There are tonnes of girls out there who WON'T make you confused. Just go with the numbers game. Do the work. Go out get 5 other. You won't feel like making threads like this. I know cuz ive been there

 

[RicBoy]

I've had several women in my life around 50 in think. But this one, I introduced to my family. I hadn't introduced a girl to my family since 2005, the mother of my son. And this girl, after one single fight she bounced to never look back, very painful, that's really not cool man. We spent one whole month with my family and ours kids in holiday back in my country.

I should never have worked for her and spent so many days at her house. Killed the attraction.

 

[RicBoy]

Of course confronting her about all this that I wrote above is never gonna work. She will say i pushed her and it was all my fault. Making her guilty won't work. She doesn't give a **** no more. It's been over 40 days, I haven't heard a single peep. She is ****ing another guy already.

My son moves here in August, it will me 6 months no contact. She will come around for him. If I play it very right I could probably get her back. But it's so much work and patient that is not even worth.

 

[RicBoy]

I got this advice from YouTube coach. Email coaching. Blackbookbasics.

So what I’m gonna do is break down your email and then give you a little advice at the end. If you have any questions for us or need more details about something just let us know.

Now the first paragraph of what you wrote says everything we really need to know about your situation. It sounds like you know being unemployed and trying to keep a women interested in you is a hard thing to do. I understand the struggle of getting a good job but no woman wants a man that’s working for them. They want a man that is more successful then them with goals and integrity. Plus the fact that you were smothering her was not a good tactic either. So obviously this is stuff that you already know. Spending 5-6 days a week is definitely a bad idea. Women need space from you. They need time to their selfs, and time to really miss you and to think about you. Seeing you everyday is like that movie “Groundhogs Day”, it gets repetitive and they are expecting the same thing every time you hang out and that’s what turns them off. Women need something new and exciting going on in their life at all times.
That’s cool that she cooks and cleans for you but if your just the guy on the couch that works for her and does the same things with her every time you hang out then that’s how your gonna be treated after a while. She wants a man that can be a financial, emotional and mental provider for her and it’s hard to be that person when your not financially stable in your life. Coming off as needy and working for her is the worse position to be in. From the little that you told us in your email, that’s the reason why your relationship went dwn hill.

In the second paragraph you mentioned that she looked at a “push” as a “domestic violence”. I’ve talked to LOTS of people that had an ex exaggerate and lie saying they abused them in some way and have ended up doing jail time as a result. Be very careful with her !!!
On a good note, she unblocked you and then hit you back up and chatted w you. It’s a good possibility that she said NO to drinks with you because she is testing you. Most people expected after going no contact with an ex that she just fall in your lap. That’s not always the case. She wants to see if your going to be that same needy guy, and if your gonna argue with her some more, which you did. So in her mind you failed the test and your the same guy u were back in the day. Getting back with you is gonna lead to the same bs that caused her to break up with you in her mind.

The fact that you guys argue quite often tells us that you haven’t been listening to our videos enough. Men don’t argue with women. Never in the history of life has a man won an argument with a woman. The 2 best things to do during an “argument” is to:

1. Say what’s on your mind and how you feel respectfully and stand on it.

2. Let her talk and LISTEN TO WHAT SHE IS SAYING. Women tell you how they feel and what they want if you pay close attention to them.

JUST DONT ARGUE !!!!

She told you to leave her alone and hinted that she needs space. She gave you an opportunity to redeem yourself but you messed it up.
Normally I would say stack your money up and hit the gym but it sounds like your already doing that. It’s def not too late to recover even if she has a new man because he’s gonna **** up anyways. I’m more worried about the mean things you said to her, that’s something that she’s gonna bring up and never forget.
On a good note I’d say you still have a slim chance with her. This probably Isint what you wanna hear but you definitely wanna continue to go no contact with her at this point.

To answer your question about how to proceeds from here:

1. If or when she does contact you about your son then just be charming and playful, no serious conversations and DONT bring up the past.
2. DONT argue with her.
3. Keep the small talk to a minimum.
4. Try to control any anger that you have towards her.
5. Don’t ask about her new boyfriend
6. Don’t ask her on a date until she shows clear signs that she’s wanting to.
7. Flirt with her. !!! You need to bring back the sexual chemistry between you two.
8. It’s okay to say NO to her. If or when she does come to pick up your son brush her off like she’s not a big deal. Say HI and be cool w her, but keep in mind she’s expecting you to chase, beg or start an argument.

In the mean time keep doing what your doing. Find some new women to kick it with until she does call, this way your game stays on point and your have some women on the side to keep your mind off her. I feel like you still have a chance, don’t be thoughtful of your actions.


I hope this answered your questions, let us know if you need us to clarify anything.

-OPUS-

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You can keep searching for advice from multiple channels, ignoring the advice that doesn’t support what you WANT to believe, and listening to advice that supports it, but I can promise you, it won’t change reality.

If you really want to believe dogs can fly, you could ask 100 people of it were true, and maybe a few of them would say it is. That would provide you with great comfort. But I can guarantee you, it won’t make dogs fly.

There are two types of people: Those who can’t let go of whatever idea is most comforting to them, and those who can. The saddest part about this is the ones who can’t let go of their fantasy do it because they think it will be easier and more comforting to them when in reality, the opposite is true; it prolongs misery and has long lasting negative consequences. You must take the bitter medicine in order to heal the wound and move to a healthy place.

I haven’t decided if people seeking confirmation bias are mentally unable to objectively process information, or if they simply CHOOSE not to.The older I get, the more I think it is the former. I see it a lot in politics. I think roughly 25% of all people suffer from this affliction.

 

[RicBoy]

My ex will come around for my son. I think if I play the cards right and she sees really change anything can happen if she is single.. I don't see why not.
Ofc it might not happen,. Maybe never. But theres always a chance.

You attract a woman once, you can attract her again. I've done this before with other exes. I know the word around in red pill foruns is if you **** up with a girl, she will never see u that way again. Things are not black and white like that.

If you really improve, new job, money, gym etc.. There's actually a good chance to reattract an ex.

Ofc one can argue that if a person really changes and makes his life so much better why wouldn't we wants his ex again?

 

[bcude]

RicBoy, i know that you won't listen anymore no matter what anyone says, you will still try to get her back. Paying for advice on youtube it's the last straw of desperation, but that is okay. Might aswell experience the whole thing yourself and look for advice that only confirms what you want.
But know this:

you will never, and i mean never ever re-attract your ex until you've moved on for real and don't want her anymore.

think about that for a moment.

Nothing will change when and if she calls because you haven't changed one bit. You still see this damaged single mother as a prize that you might re-attract. The whole dynamic is backwards.
The sad part about this is that you're still not thinking what's best for your son.
red pill forums doesn't say it's impossible to re-attract an ex, it's just not worth the time and effort to go out and root through the garbage compared to attracting new women. It's about making the rational smart choices as a man, that means doing the hard things at times. Accepting and letting go of the past that's not beneficial to you is one of those things.
I wish you the best.