"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Cure for Perfectionism?

V

Visceral

Master Don Juan
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I set the bar so high that it's impossible to get over. Having expectations that I know I (and the world) can't fulfill is killing my motivation.

Not only do I demand more of myself than I can deliver, but I demand so much from the experience itself that it can't help but disappoint me no matter how it turns out. I think this is where my negativity comes from; the legacy of 22 years of unwitting self-sabotage.

What can I do to fix this problem?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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R

RedPill

Master Don Juan
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Set some goals. Make them SMART goals.

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant (to your larger goals)
Time-framed
 
T

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Ya I agree with setting goals. The first step is the hardest though, ALWAYS. You need to decided if you'll still be interested in these goals one year from now if you still haven't achieved them. Two years ago I had a goal to be a ladies man after being inspired by Senor Fingers posts' and going through a devistating breakup. I released that goal was founded on fear, the fear of not being able to handle women, the fear of not being up to my unrealistic standards of always being liked by everyone and always having that sharp comback for people who don't. I'm learning the best comback for any attack on me is to re-affirm my purpose right now rather than try to be witty. I'm now at peace with the idea that I will never be a ladies man (I still MIGHT become one, I find it more peaceful to accept that I won't) It's no longer a desire for me anymore, and I doubt it ever was. I know what I wake up for everyday and thats all that matters to me.

I'm slowly starting to figure things out in my life, what I want and what makes me happy. Why I get anxious about things. What does it mean to be a man. My FAVORITE concept that I've learned through this site is the theory that life is a numbers games. The more shots you take, the more points you score plain and simple. It makes rejection much less painful.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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