"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Cure for Perfectionism?

Visceral

Master Don Juan
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I set the bar so high that it's impossible to get over. Having expectations that I know I (and the world) can't fulfill is killing my motivation.

Not only do I demand more of myself than I can deliver, but I demand so much from the experience itself that it can't help but disappoint me no matter how it turns out. I think this is where my negativity comes from; the legacy of 22 years of unwitting self-sabotage.

What can I do to fix this problem?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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RedPill

Master Don Juan
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Set some goals. Make them SMART goals.

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant (to your larger goals)
Time-framed
 

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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Ya I agree with setting goals. The first step is the hardest though, ALWAYS. You need to decided if you'll still be interested in these goals one year from now if you still haven't achieved them. Two years ago I had a goal to be a ladies man after being inspired by Senor Fingers posts' and going through a devistating breakup. I released that goal was founded on fear, the fear of not being able to handle women, the fear of not being up to my unrealistic standards of always being liked by everyone and always having that sharp comback for people who don't. I'm learning the best comback for any attack on me is to re-affirm my purpose right now rather than try to be witty. I'm now at peace with the idea that I will never be a ladies man (I still MIGHT become one, I find it more peaceful to accept that I won't) It's no longer a desire for me anymore, and I doubt it ever was. I know what I wake up for everyday and thats all that matters to me.

I'm slowly starting to figure things out in my life, what I want and what makes me happy. Why I get anxious about things. What does it mean to be a man. My FAVORITE concept that I've learned through this site is the theory that life is a numbers games. The more shots you take, the more points you score plain and simple. It makes rejection much less painful.
 
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