jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
I found a good video that explains "Italian cultural thought", versus "American cultural thought"
In Italy, first dates are more relaxed, organic and “vibe‑based”: people care more about who you are as a person, shared interests and chemistry than about your CV, while In the USA, first dates often feel like job interviews: people quickly ask about your job, income, lifestyle, past relationships and values, as if they were vetting you from a checklist
For this reason, in Italy, people tend to be more patient; they accept that every relationship and person has flaws and don't label the other person as a “narcissist” or “emotionally unavailable” or see their "emotional attachment", after one or two awkward moments.
In the USA, there is a tendency to cut people off quickly based on “red flags”, labels from social‑media psychology jargon (narcissism, gaslighting, attachment styles), or small differences in politics.
This is also one of the main reasons why in America there's a tendency to not tolerate disrespect, while in Italy relationships are formed in which the man "absorbs" too many blows, gives up, and continues his relationship with a woman who is too "disrespectful" of him (even if she doesn't cheat, she does it in small ways). In the US, however, there are many more relationships that end and new ones that begin.
This is one of the reasons why in Italy there are relationships in which wives "tease their husbands", and vice versa, and all this is passed off as humor and a joke..
In Italy, strong family networks and friendships act as a social backbone: people are rarely alone, and breakups are usually short crises because they can lean on friends and relatives (so yes from the American point of view, Italian men are seen as needy because they need someone to cry with and start over again)
In the USA, many people are more socially isolated and they often expect one romantic partner to fulfill all their emotional and social needs, which makes dating more stressful and contributes to a “sex recession” and lower intimacy
In the USA, women generally feel more free to make mistakes or experiment in relationships, but there is also a lot of pressure to conform to “correct” beliefs and identities.
In Italy, social judgment is stronger, especially in smaller towns, so people tend to think twice before acting, which can make intimacy and progression slower but perhaps more intentional. This is also the case in Italy where people tend to maintain a bad relationship simply because they've created a union with their two families and don't want to be alone. Compromise, but as soon as that union breaks down, then couples separate (the father, grandfather, mother, etc. dies).
It's as if in Italy, the circle of family and friends is supreme. They move together.
While in America, it's a couple's circle, so it's limited to the two of them. Independent.
I can say this is very accurate for italian POV. (He also admit here in Italy, living with your parents, it's not a stigma like in the US)
This is why in Italy you feel like an obligation to do certain things (because other people will put stigma if you don't), while in USA you're actually free.
You can feel lonely both way in you feel trapped.
Please share your thoughts, how did you feel this being true.
In Italy, first dates are more relaxed, organic and “vibe‑based”: people care more about who you are as a person, shared interests and chemistry than about your CV, while In the USA, first dates often feel like job interviews: people quickly ask about your job, income, lifestyle, past relationships and values, as if they were vetting you from a checklist
For this reason, in Italy, people tend to be more patient; they accept that every relationship and person has flaws and don't label the other person as a “narcissist” or “emotionally unavailable” or see their "emotional attachment", after one or two awkward moments.
In the USA, there is a tendency to cut people off quickly based on “red flags”, labels from social‑media psychology jargon (narcissism, gaslighting, attachment styles), or small differences in politics.
This is also one of the main reasons why in America there's a tendency to not tolerate disrespect, while in Italy relationships are formed in which the man "absorbs" too many blows, gives up, and continues his relationship with a woman who is too "disrespectful" of him (even if she doesn't cheat, she does it in small ways). In the US, however, there are many more relationships that end and new ones that begin.
This is one of the reasons why in Italy there are relationships in which wives "tease their husbands", and vice versa, and all this is passed off as humor and a joke..
In Italy, strong family networks and friendships act as a social backbone: people are rarely alone, and breakups are usually short crises because they can lean on friends and relatives (so yes from the American point of view, Italian men are seen as needy because they need someone to cry with and start over again)
In the USA, many people are more socially isolated and they often expect one romantic partner to fulfill all their emotional and social needs, which makes dating more stressful and contributes to a “sex recession” and lower intimacy
In the USA, women generally feel more free to make mistakes or experiment in relationships, but there is also a lot of pressure to conform to “correct” beliefs and identities.
In Italy, social judgment is stronger, especially in smaller towns, so people tend to think twice before acting, which can make intimacy and progression slower but perhaps more intentional. This is also the case in Italy where people tend to maintain a bad relationship simply because they've created a union with their two families and don't want to be alone. Compromise, but as soon as that union breaks down, then couples separate (the father, grandfather, mother, etc. dies).
It's as if in Italy, the circle of family and friends is supreme. They move together.
While in America, it's a couple's circle, so it's limited to the two of them. Independent.
I can say this is very accurate for italian POV. (He also admit here in Italy, living with your parents, it's not a stigma like in the US)
This is why in Italy you feel like an obligation to do certain things (because other people will put stigma if you don't), while in USA you're actually free.
You can feel lonely both way in you feel trapped.
Please share your thoughts, how did you feel this being true.
