"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Crush appears again
- Thread starter Smith122
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Poonstra
Senior Don Juan
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Let it go. Move on. All it does is show her you are still invested. You should not be.
I told you you should improve yourself for you, so you get a better life, not for women. Once you are successful, women will want to get in on it.
I've been thai-boxing since I've been 24. Always been dry, not build tho. Never got a lot of attention. I've started doing the heavy lifts (squad, dead lift), a bit more than 2 years ago. The difference in IOI has been staggering. Lift, or you are a sub-par specimen. Check out starting strength.
Poonstra
Senior Don Juan
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Don't engage her, if she engages you keep it short and polite, you don't want to risk your job. Move away from the conversation as soon as possible. This new behavior will puzzle her and she'll try and pull you back into her orbit. Don't let her.
Now I know it's easier said then done, but go find yourself an other woman, the sooner you do, the sooner this one loses her power over you.
Thanks for all your advice so far.
I am looking for other women but even if I get one I don’t have a crush on any others so how would that improve it.
You really think she will try and pull me back, I think she will just carry on ignoring me.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Poonstra
Senior Don Juan
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Even better. This will let you move on.
Now, I think I've said all I can about this, you know what to do.
I recommend you read the basics, the DJ-bible and the Book of Pook, if you want to learn about women and grow as a man, these are not optional. Keep comming back to this forum. Start hitting the gym. Best of luck Smith122.