"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Crooked Kock

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Yo,
My kocks a little crooked when it's rock hard. It tilts to the left on like a 30 degree angle. I've had chicks blow me that gave it a funny look before swallowing it. Also my buddies seem to laugh it up when they see guys in pornos with their shlongs bent upwards. How common is a left crooked kock like mine? It doesn't bother me too much, just feel a little odd about it when it's hard and a girl goes down on me. I'm happy with my size(9") just a bit disconcerted about the shape. Anyway to make it back to a solid straight shlong?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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LouieVaton Don

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Is this a joke? I would think its a advantage making it easier to hit her G-spot.
 

Maxtro

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Any chance that you do or used to jerk off a lot?

I did and now mine points to the left. As LouieVaton Don mentioned a upward pointing erection is very desired. It enables her G-spot to be stimulated when you are on top of her, missionary etc.

BTW you better be realy happy about your size you lucky SOB.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by Maxtro
Any chance that you do or used to jerk off a lot?

I did and now mine points to the left. As LouieVaton Don mentioned a upward pointing erection is very desired. It enables her G-spot to be stimulated when you are on top of her, missionary etc.

BTW you better be realy happy about your size you lucky SOB.
Hey...maybe if you hit it from the side...:D
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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napoleon

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It is an advantage because I've read somewhere that the upward friction is more important than let's say length.
 
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It is an advantage because I've read somewhere that the upward friction is more important than let's say length.
Yeah but it's not bent upwards, it's bent left ways. Jerking off causes getting a crooked kock? So if I were to use my left hand to jack can I get it center aligned again? I'll give it a try, it's hard to jerk off with your left hand though.
 
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