"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Credibility Perception

COD

Master Don Juan
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It has often been said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, the opposite may also be true, a 1000 words paints a picture. We are fully aware of the fact that it’s not just what you say but how you say certain words can influence perceptions. A well rounded vocabruary works in your favor and often radiates ones perceived intelligence. Today we are talking about another speech impediment that may hinder your effectiveness.

Non-verbal speech patterns known as word whiskers. Small words or phrases that have little or no meaning that are unintentionally interjected into a sentence. Examples; (ummm, ahhh, uh huh, like, and ah, yep, I’ll tell ya what, etc). They tend to annoy and distract the listener from extrapolating your objective. They can also influence your credibility perception. You may come to realise that people tend to put more emphasis on your dis-fluency than what you are trying to say. Distractions have a tendency to do just that. Harrison Ford is a good actor but when he does an interview these verbal tics are abundant.

These non-verbal speech patterns originate from a gap between the brain, and the mouth. You know what you want to communicate but there is some minor non-verbal pauses in the delivery. Whether you are on an interview, at a speed dating event, making small talk at a bar, on a first date, conversing on the phone, selling a product and or service, giving a lecture, speech or statement, failure to eliminate this dis-fluency erodes your credibility.

Bad habits are often formed in the brain relatively easily, removal of said habits requires a little more effort. Conditioning and repetition should work. Here’s some tips;

1) SLOW DOWN-speed kills; people that speak too fast tend to think much faster than their mouths can operate. It’s okay to pause while you speak, you don’t have to be constantly talking.

2) PRACTICE-rehearse out-loud until it becomes memorized, you should be able to recite what you are going to say to make it appear smooth.

3) REMINDERS-write down your verbal infractions to remind yourself to not incorporate them into your speech and keep a running total.

4) RELAX-in addition to slowing down, take a deep breath before you begin, try not to be so nervous, take a sip of water.

5) IDEAS-think of the ideas you want to communicate and not just the words. The brains senses your thoughts and allows your mouth to describe it. Pause between thoughts, give your audience time to process what you have said.

6) FEEDBACK-say your speech in front of another and ask for honest feedback, use a recording device and playback to hear how others perceive you. Make periodic adjustments.

7) VISUALIZATION-80% of the problem lies within your thoughts. Conceive it to achieve it. Inner game tactics are viable solutions here. Your objective is to reprogram the brain.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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