"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Credibility Perception

COD

Master Don Juan
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It has often been said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, the opposite may also be true, a 1000 words paints a picture. We are fully aware of the fact that it’s not just what you say but how you say certain words can influence perceptions. A well rounded vocabruary works in your favor and often radiates ones perceived intelligence. Today we are talking about another speech impediment that may hinder your effectiveness.

Non-verbal speech patterns known as word whiskers. Small words or phrases that have little or no meaning that are unintentionally interjected into a sentence. Examples; (ummm, ahhh, uh huh, like, and ah, yep, I’ll tell ya what, etc). They tend to annoy and distract the listener from extrapolating your objective. They can also influence your credibility perception. You may come to realise that people tend to put more emphasis on your dis-fluency than what you are trying to say. Distractions have a tendency to do just that. Harrison Ford is a good actor but when he does an interview these verbal tics are abundant.

These non-verbal speech patterns originate from a gap between the brain, and the mouth. You know what you want to communicate but there is some minor non-verbal pauses in the delivery. Whether you are on an interview, at a speed dating event, making small talk at a bar, on a first date, conversing on the phone, selling a product and or service, giving a lecture, speech or statement, failure to eliminate this dis-fluency erodes your credibility.

Bad habits are often formed in the brain relatively easily, removal of said habits requires a little more effort. Conditioning and repetition should work. Here’s some tips;

1) SLOW DOWN-speed kills; people that speak too fast tend to think much faster than their mouths can operate. It’s okay to pause while you speak, you don’t have to be constantly talking.

2) PRACTICE-rehearse out-loud until it becomes memorized, you should be able to recite what you are going to say to make it appear smooth.

3) REMINDERS-write down your verbal infractions to remind yourself to not incorporate them into your speech and keep a running total.

4) RELAX-in addition to slowing down, take a deep breath before you begin, try not to be so nervous, take a sip of water.

5) IDEAS-think of the ideas you want to communicate and not just the words. The brains senses your thoughts and allows your mouth to describe it. Pause between thoughts, give your audience time to process what you have said.

6) FEEDBACK-say your speech in front of another and ask for honest feedback, use a recording device and playback to hear how others perceive you. Make periodic adjustments.

7) VISUALIZATION-80% of the problem lies within your thoughts. Conceive it to achieve it. Inner game tactics are viable solutions here. Your objective is to reprogram the brain.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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