Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Crazy FR and disrespect shown. Not tolerating it.

mrgoodstuff

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I;ve also noticed that women get personally offended when you refuse to tolerate any nonsense (per your post, what you would naturally do when you have abundance). Like they TRULY believe you have done something wrong and should be punished for it. And they have a whole society backing them up. It's insanity. I can't imagine what it feels like being a predatory woman living in this climate. It must literally be like being a kid in a candy store. THey must laugh out loud to themselves sometimes at how EASY it is to get WHATEVER they want WHENEVER they want.
They'll retribute you for things you did 10+ yrs ago in another relationship. And yes predatory women have a limitless amount of male targets. She can damage men and be protected by society.
 

lostintime

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What would you say if you made plans to hang out with one of your friends and then they cut it short, when you could have made plans with other people?
Male Friend: "Man wtf bro. You tell me this now? F*ck man. OK, let me know when you're free. C'mon man".

Female: "That's OK! Is everything OK!? Are YOU OK? LEt me know!"
 

redskinsfan92

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You don't need to reverse the role, what would you say if one of your guy friends pulled this BS? You're just making excuses because she is a woman and you feel like getting laid is more important than your free time.

Sure, in terms of getting laid then you're essentially going to have to eat a lot of s*** and go through a lot of flakes and wasted time and money...
You hit the nail right on the head.
 

redskinsfan92

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You're free to not understand it and continue to live in your entitled little bubble, but you are wrong. He fvcked up and he needs to realize that or he will become stuck. He was the one with the sh!t behavior.

You're biased, you don't see clearly. Reverse the roles in this interaction and don't you fvcking tell me you would side with the woman.
Fvcked up? Entitled? He owes her nothing. His free time is more valuable than groveling and bartering for a lay.
 

redskinsfan92

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You're free to not understand it and continue to live in your entitled little bubble, but you are wrong. He fvcked up and he needs to realize that or he will become stuck. He was the one with the sh!t behavior.

You're biased, you don't see clearly. Reverse the roles in this interaction and don't you fvcking tell me you would side with the woman.
I literally ghost male friends who get wishy washy with me. I have no time for it. Apparently you do.
 

BackInTheGame78

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"I've 15 minutes free tomorrow night if you want to drop me off another bottle of wine".
Doesn't that just put her in the same situation she already didn't feel comfortable in tho? I mean I get it's an aggressive play but didn't my aggressiveness backfire already?
 

Dash Riprock

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So I had previously posted about a woman who I invited over for dinner who accepted and then told me she needed to meet me out in public first. I told her I don't do wishy washy and the offer for dinner stands and if she needed to chat with me prior to give me a call. She called, we chatted for about 20 mins and she was super excited to come over and cook with me Monday.

Here is the thread:

Fast forward to Monday:

She comes over brings some wine and we are sitting down chatting on the couch for about 10 mins, good vibe going and then I suggest we pour some wine and get cooking. Then the weirdness starts. She says she will stay for a little bit but she has to leave soon...so I look her dead in the eye and say if you want to leave then leave. She says "I think I am..." and then starts spouting some BS about how she thought she was ready to date again but now that she is out on an actual date it doesn't feel right and that she just deleted her profile the other day...so I asked why the hell she would come over if she wasn't ready for that and she says because she didn't want to be rude...she thought about cancelling blah blah blah. So I said cool, just go, not interested in her silliness. Then she tells me "well at least you got a free bottle of wine" before leaving and saying she will think about things more and admits we have a good vibe between us.

Fast forward to today, this b!tch texts me as if nothing happened the other day asking me how my day was going.

I texted her "Get back to me when you feel like apologizing for your exceptionally rude behavior the other day and then we can exchange pleasantries."

She said "I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of it. I thought you would understand but clearly you don't. It has nothing to do with lack of interest in you."

I haven't replied. Honestly F this sh!t...like who fvcking does this sh!t??
Tough Brotherly Love Time:

Dude, in this day and age, 99% of all women will not come over to a strange man's house on a first date. And the 1% who will are f*ucking stupid.

And as a guy, I'm not sure I'd even want a strange woman in my house on a first date. At least not without meeting in public first. I have had first dates end up at my house quite frequently, but we don't start there. No way.

She was totally in line about countering and wanting to meet at a public restaurant or similar. Why on earth would you get all bent out of shape about that? It's smart on her end.

Damn, I see this way too much on this site; young guys (I assume OP is) posturing way too much about all these hard line rules they have in place and they they cry disrespect (!) when the woman backs off a little bit.

Lighten up and check your game guys. Some of you are WAY too far down the red pill rabbit hole.

And then, at least she told you upfront she's not ready to date, rather than stringing you along for a few weeks or months. I do agree the timing was a bit odd as she was already at your house, but still, most women would either disappear after the date or wouldn't have the decency to give you a straight answer as to why they don't want to date you. Had a woman done this to me, I would have shrugged and said, "Ok" and kept the drinks and fun flowing. My non-reaction alone may likely have been enough to get non-committal s*ex out of it. And worst case scenario, maybe she was fun to hang out with and talk to. But don't act all angry and upset. Who gives a f*uck. ALWAYS maintain IDGAF and the Abundance Mentality.

You acted like she was the last girl on earth by your reaction.

OP, I'm sorry to say you're the one that came out looking bad and butt hurt here. But, hey, we've all been there.

Better luck next time.
 

RedScorpion

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I think this might be simpler than it may seem, and I think it comes down to the old lesson of building attraction and comfort. This girl, you’re meeting for the first time in person. She’s clearly attracted to you, having stepped outside her own set boundaries of meeting in public first, and coming to your house (already a decently big move for first-time meeting). She brought wine, meaning she’s clearly contributing, understanding that drinking is involved and things are more relaxed, easy-going when alcohol is involved. I don’t think she truly worried about things progressing forward.

With this though, she built herself a backup in case things went bad, with ‘I have to leave soon’. This is for if you turned out to be an *******/psycho/whatever, or just things ending up being deadpan awkward. This gives her an out that’s pre-established, so it’s not out-of-the-blue if needed later. Tied in with meeting in person for the first time (and previous push to meet in public first), this seems like a normal thing to see.

I think if I was playing it, I would take it relaxed and say ‘No problem. We can just enjoy dinner and talk a bit.’. Let her have her out, and she can relax a bit. Give her the chance to get adjusted to knowing you in-person, build that comfort and rapport. Even getting comfortable in your house and knowing it. If things went well, she’d forget all about her having to leave soon, and it’d continue forward. Worst case, you set up another date, leaving her with a good feeling to miss and wanting to re-engage.

In this case, telling her she could leave probably amped up her decision making to stay or go, not part of her original game-plan -raising stress. And she stayed (due to built-up attraction). This brought her uncertainty of not knowing if she was ready to be dating yet (stress release), trying to get reassurement from you on a baser level. Nervous as ****. But as the push from you was to go (again), she took it. Later I think she probably felt she ****ed up, or caused the interaction to tumble (but still attracted), so she tried to put it back to normal talk.

Dash Riprock has made some great comments as well.
 

mozarto.o

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Doesn't that just put her in the same situation she already didn't feel comfortable in tho? I mean I get it's an aggressive play but didn't my aggressiveness backfire already?
I think that you were aggressive in a way that you weren't supposed to be and also that it all may have been a sht test influenced by the behavior of her last boyfriend, he may have been to clingy so she did all that to see your reaction. She expected "Please stay" or "It's cool if you wanna leave" and what you did threw her off.
In my opinion, your next text should go for a feeling like you want her to come over again as if nothing happened.
 

BackInTheGame78

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She said "I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of it. I thought you would understand but clearly you don't. It has nothing to do with lack of interest in you."

Personally, if I thought she was quality, I would reply " You are right, I over reacted. Just got a lot of **** going on in my life right now, and it is kind of stressing me"

The truth is, you got impatient because you were "denied".......but she doesn't need to know that.

If she asks you later what is stressing you, just tell her " You know, I'd sooner not talk about it and just relax and enjoy your company"
I'm not sure if I got impatient. I honestly did not expect to bang her, all I wanted was for us to have fun, drink some wine, cook and eat dinner together and obviously I would have ramped up the sexual stuff as the night went along. If it happened great and if not great.

I think I got more pissed because I spent the time energy and effort to get everything and then I didn't even need to bother. I would have rather her just cancel beforehand. To me it was more she basically said "Your time doesn't mean sh!t to me, the effort you made to get things set up doesn't mean sh!t to me and if effect you aren't worth 2 hours of my time."
 

BackInTheGame78

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I should also mention that while I am American my Father is not and I learned most of my manners from him because honestly most Americans don't get taught real manners(in my opinion).

In his culture one of the rudest things you could ever do is go to someone's house for dinner and then not eat the food they gave you. As in sit down and eat and say you don't like it and not eat it. I grew up that if you went to someone's house as a guest you ate whatever they put on your plate, finished it and you told them it was really good. And when you invite someone to your house you treat them as a guest of honor and give them the best of everything. That's just how it was.

To come to someone's house for dinner and then leave before dinner in that way would have been considered the ultimate insult and so I think maybe that is why I found it so disrespectful and rude and got that upset about it. Not trying to say I probably shouldn't have muted it a little bit but that definitely played into it in the spur of the moment.
 
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redskinsfan92

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Tough Brotherly Love Time:

Dude, in this day and age, 99% of all women will not come over to a strange man's house on a first date. And the 1% who will are f*ucking stupid.

And as a guy, I'm not sure I'd even want a strange woman in my house on a first date. At least not without meeting in public first. I have had first dates end up at my house quite frequently, but we don't start there. No way.

She was totally in line about countering and wanting to meet at a public restaurant or similar. Why on earth would you get all bent out of shape about that? It's smart on her end.

Damn, I see this way too much on this site; young guys (I assume OP is) posturing way too much about all these hard line rules they have in place and they they cry disrespect (!) when the woman backs off a little bit.

Lighten up and check your game guys. Some of you are WAY too far down the red pill rabbit hole.

And then, at least she told you upfront she's not ready to date, rather than stringing you along for a few weeks or months. I do agree the timing was a bit odd as she was already at your house, but still, most women would either disappear after the date or wouldn't have the decency to give you a straight answer as to why they don't want to date you. Had a woman done this to me, I would have shrugged and said, "Ok" and kept the drinks and fun flowing. My non-reaction alone may likely have been enough to get non-committal s*ex out of it. And worst case scenario, maybe she was fun to hang out with and talk to. But don't act all angry and upset. Who gives a f*uck. ALWAYS maintain IDGAF and the Abundance Mentality.

You acted like she was the last girl on earth by your reaction.

OP, I'm sorry to say you're the one that came out looking bad and butt hurt here. But, hey, we've all been there.

Better luck next time.
An abundance mindset is being willing to send a woman out ypur door when she is rude.
 

redskinsfan92

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I should also mention that while I am American my Father is not and I learned most of my manners from him because honestly most Americans don't get taught real manners(in my opinion).

In his culture one of the rudest things you could ever do is go to someone's house for dinner and then not eat the food they gave you. As in sit down and eat and say you don't like it and not eat it. I grew up that if you went to someone's house as a guest you ate whatever they put on your plate, finished it and you told them it was really good. And when you invite someone to your house you treat them as a guest of honor and give them the best of everything. That's just how it was.

To come to someone's house for dinner and then leave before dinner in that way would have been considered the ultimate insult and so I think maybe that is why I found it so disrespectful and rude and got that upset about it. Not trying to say I probably shouldn't have muted it a little bit but that definitely played into it in the spur of the moment.
That is extremely rude in American culture I assure you.

Now, let noone here mistake me. I would have played it cooler, but if OP wanted to end the date that is entirely his choice and is not wrong.
 

redskinsfan92

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I'm not sure if I got impatient. I honestly did not expect to bang her, all I wanted was for us to have fun, drink some wine, cook and eat dinner together and obviously I would have ramped up the sexual stuff as the night went along. If it happened great and if not great.

I think I got more pissed because I spent the time energy and effort to get everything and then I didn't even need to bother. I would have rather her just cancel beforehand. To me it was more she basically said "Your time doesn't mean sh!t to me, the effort you made to get things set up doesn't mean sh!t to me and if effect you aren't worth 2 hours of my time."
See, you just expected some common courtesy.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That is extremely rude in American culture I assure you.

Now, let noone here mistake me. I would have played it cooler, but if OP wanted to end the date that is entirely his choice and is not wrong.
Honestly at that point I was more of a mindset of "How could a person be this rude and inconsiderate?" I think I was just almost in shock.

Like I couldn't even comprehend how you could do that because that thought would never enter my mind if I was invited to dinner at someone's house. In my mind I think I just took it as a very very personal insult because I am not sure if there is a way of insulting anyone any worse than that in his culture.

My Dad is in his mid 70s and he would whoop my ass if he ever found out I did something like that. That type of thing brings shame to the family and the respect for one's family is very very important.

Again I am not saying this was the best way I could have gone about it but at least that gives a little more background.
 
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Tilex

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I have a personal rule where I'll never have dinner with anyone on the first date.
There's too much game playing and manipulation around the dynamic of food.
I think this goes back to primitive behavior where food & trust went hand in hand.

It seems like an over investment. Too much, too soon.
She hasn't earned the right to have a free dinner yet.
 
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