"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Crappy car needs "pimpin'"

liberal

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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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undesputable

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i dont know man....i think that car is hopeless
 

Vincent

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Did I make my point? Your car is not a sports car, you can't make it look like one, so don't try.
 

liberal

Don Juan
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So...you're saying there's a chance? I read ya!
 

diablo

Master Don Juan
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He's 17, cut him some slack. One of my little brothers is the same age (actually, all 3 are), and has just put not only pop-off wheel covers (bling blingin plastic chrome) on the wheels, but also installed neon lighting in the interior. He drives a 1992 Buick LaSabre (like this one: http://www.anarchyrobotics.com/IM000440.JPG) Guess it comes with the age... definitely do nothing to your car - otherwise people will laugh at you, or think you're trash, or both.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Vincent

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by diablo
installed neon lighting in the interior.
Your brothers are stupid and I hate them.

Seriously if you do anything to that car, I'll take a bat to you.
 

liberal

Don Juan
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It must definitely come with the age, I was actually thinking of getting some of those cheap hubcabs and neon lighting.

Vincent, ever had a crappy car? It can make a sane person want to go to desperate lengths to improve their car.

Get laughed at if I do anything to the car? I'm already getting laughed at! I thought by making some modifications, I could show I actually give a damn about what the car looks like.

I know, with age comes wisdom. I just need some more threats to prevent me from doing anything to this car.
 

Vincent

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Would a 94 mint green taurus be a crappy car? Oh wait yes it is.

Then again one night I got really stoned and me and some of my friends decided it would be funny to cut off the muffler.

Fun times. Cept I had to drive that crap for another 2 months :p
 

liberal

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:p
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Julian

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Save your money for the engine repairs you will need to pay for when your car inevitably breaks down.
 

liberal

Don Juan
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I've never had any problems with the engine, thats the great thing about that car. Even when its cold as hell (oxymoronic phrase) outside, it starts everytime.

Oh yeah, and **** you for the smartass remark.
 

TyTe`EyEs

Master Don Juan
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Why don't you just wait 2 months and get something else?




Vincent is right though, don't put any money into that car.
 
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