"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Conversation in an LTR

Brian McGee

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I completely agree with the fact that the subject of conversation should revolve around the woman during the first few encounters. However, as it stands, I've just entered an LTR (6 months) so I'm not as mysterious to her anymore (she still doesn't know too much though).

What my problem is, is that every single conversation we have is all about her, how she feels, etc etc. She does ask my opinion on most things, but at least 80% of the dialogue is about her. I do realise this is just a female trait, but it seems so vain and selfish.. I've called her out on it a few times and she's just oblivious to it 5 minutes later. I'm not sure if I should just cope with it or tell her to shut the **** up?

It's getting on my nerves.

(And no I'm not an emotionally needy person who needs to be asked how he feels at all :p I'm just getting peed off by the selfishness she's portraying - other than this, she's been going good so far).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Obsidian

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if you don't like her, just dump her. She's probably not gonna change.

Just state your own opinions, tho, and let that be your input to the conversation. Why the hell do you care about talking about yourself, anyway? Let her jabber on. I personally don't even like talking about myself very much. Read How to Make Friends and Influence People and you will see that most people like to talk about themselves. Get used to it.
 

jigga23

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girls want a guy to just sit there and listen its just the way it is. they dont want a problem solver to their issues they want you to listen. better get used to it cause a lot of chicks are like that
 

I'm Joe Dirt

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I've been in an LTR nearly a year and a half and it seems like most of our conversations are about things that happen to both of us, things we are working on, or daily conversational issues like politics, the news, or intellectual discussion.

Sounds kinda plain and boring (but its really well balanced and fulfilling), but I guess the "get to know you" stage is long over and that's all you got left. I don't think either one of us talks bout "ourselves" anymore.
 

Brian McGee

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I don't think either one of us talks bout "ourselves" anymore.
She's still young (19) so she's in the stage of talking about how her friend said 'goodbye' in an odd tone so she must have a problem, how she had to deal with so much harrrrd work at the reception desk today :rolleyes:, how she thinks so and so off big brother is a so and so... These 'issues' come before everything else, even when I'm trying to watch football :eek:

I think I'm just at the age where I have no emotional needs, I don't want to listen to someone else's emotional needs, and all I care about is sex, comedy and my work/education. I'd dump her, but she's quite attractive and is still satisfying me in the sex department, even after 6 months of the same thing... but I think I'm just going to tell her to stop talking about herself as soon as I get sick of it each time (usually about 1 min into the convo) and if it leads to me dumping her then so be it.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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