"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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conversation after 11 months?

TurtleShell

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ive been going out with the same girl for 11 months. thanks to this site. except lately i find ive sort of run out of conversation topics and when we are together there tend to be long silences. i think to compensate she talks to people on the net...

what do i do?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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squirrels

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You should be having sex during those long silences. :D

But seriously, you've been going out for 11 months. The "getting to know you" part is over with. You shouldn't be digging for topics any more. You should be talking about how your day has been going, things you see around you, funny things that happen, good old times you've shared, things you know that both you and her are interested in...

I don't see how you can be going out with someone for almost a year and still be "fishing for topics." :confused:
 

TurtleShell

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so it isnt considered boring to ask boring day to day things? while she is off talking to guys all night about interesting things?
 

gav

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this is where that wonderful thing called your imagination comes into play.

also, observe things around you. there is never a lack of current affairs (but that's pretty boring) or observational conversation topics. read up on guides to humour in the bible and you'll know what i'm talking about - casanova's post especially.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TurtleShell

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im known to say quite funny things, but its hard to be funny when she doesnt give much back to work with, but when we are watching the telly or what ever i tend to come up with funny things. also not all the funny things i say turn out funny but the ratio is still pretty good. and i guess the funny things will sound funnier when they can be contrasted with the unfunny things.
 

Tails

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... how can you not know what to say after 11 months? lol. it shouldn't even matter what you say! it's like with a guy friend, you just say random bullsh!t. you don't sit there like a tard. it's supposed to come naturally.
 

gav

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did you read the post?

here it is then, i'll spoon feed you

taken from http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16036

BE OBSERVANT

Keep your eyes open and look around. There is plenty of funny stuff going on constantly, if you are just open enough to look for it. Look for things that are out of place, embarassing things that other people are doing, or anything that just doesn't seem "right". Such as going to the mall and seeing a "Dress Barn" store, and then next door, seeing a "Dress Barn for Women" store. Makes you think. Read, watch, or listen to some George Carlin for more examples of this... he's one of the best.



and listen to tails, that's the perfect attitude, no matter what stage of the relationship you're in
 
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